


What defines Love?

by Alexia_Rivaille



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angsty Plot, Armin's parents are idiots, Awkward First Times, Bottom Armin Arlert, Bottom Jean Kirstein, Car Accidents, Caring Levi, Eren is obnoxious, Eventual Sex, First Dates, Fluff, Grumpy Levi, Guilt, Hange being Hange, High school/College-AU, Hospitalization, House Party's, Jean's a douche, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Minor time skips, Pressure, Prom, Protective Mikasa, Relationship(s), Shy Armin, Slow Build, Social Anxiety, Sweetheart Krista, Tea, Top Armin Arlert, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, attempted non-con, cute Armin, female hange, implied eren/mikasa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:16:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexia_Rivaille/pseuds/Alexia_Rivaille
Summary: "Sometimes when there is too much to focus on, focusing at all becomes too hard. A seemingly normal facade can hide something a lot more complicated. Everything feels blurred and a simple thought turns into a storm of ideas.Perfect grades and perfect lives can’t make up for everything in life. Affection can turn into pain and obsession."Armins life is seemingly perfect, at least from the outside.He lives with both his parents in a nice neighborhood. His grades for his senior year are perfect. Him and all his friends are getting ready to leave for the same college come autumn.This doesn't stop Him from the constant feeling of being lonely, which leads to confused feelings.





	1. Christmas Delights

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello!
> 
> I just wanted to point out a couple things before starting.  
> The two underage tags are there, but the youngest person in this story is Armin and he is 17 at the start.  
> Nothing too crazy will happen but i still felt like putting it there just in case!
> 
> I also wanted to let you know that this is my first published story so please have mercy!  
> If any tags or anything is of or look weird, please let me know ^_^

Sat on a couch in the living room the overcrowded room around was a little bit of a blur. There were too many people in such a cramped place. The music was blaring and the lights were reflecting in some rather tacky Christmas decorations that looked hastily put up.

I scrunched my nose and looked down at the red plastic cup in my hand and brought it up to nose again. It was most definitely alcohol. Sometimes I think even my own close friends forget that I am a year younger than them and just turned 17 a couple weeks ago. I sighed but before I could get up to try and find something drinkable. A heavy thud next to me made me turn my head. Jean had plopped down next to me by climbing over the back of the couch and he held out an unopened cola can.

 

“Armin? Yo, you alright?”  

He looked concerned and I gratefully took the can, opened it and downed about half of it before looking back up at him. Now a warm smile on his face he chuckled lightly.

“It is pretty hot in here”

I nodded to his statement and looked over the room once more. There were probably around 30 or so people in this family home made for maybe five. Eren and Mikasa had begged me to come with them to this Christmas get together, even gone so far as pleading with my mother for permission to take me. Now I couldn’t see a single trace of them though and my shoulders sank a little.

 

“You know I saw Eren and Mikasa making out on the stairs”

Jean said laughing and I snorted lightly.

“Oh they will regret that tomorrow, and if they don’t remember I will remind them”

Eren and Mikasa usually denied every comment about them dating, but anyone could tell there was some tension in between them and it was getting frustrating really. Looking around the room again I noticed a lot of our other friends from school. They were all coupled up and either dancing on each other or just blatantly making out. I frowned and looked down at my soda, spinning it slowly in my hands.

 

“Who thought Eren would get a girlfriend before me? I mean, I’m clearly the better looking one”

Jean grinned at me and bumped my shoulder a little bit

“And what about you? You’re both smarter and cuter than him”

 

I blushed and laughed nervously, taking another sip of my drink, and didn’t comment on the fact he just called me cute. Jean shifted and carded through the shorter part of his hair and looked towards the kitchen.

“You know, we should just get together.”

I choked on my drink and sputtered a bit before looking over at him with wide eyes. It took me a moment to really register what he said, and I stuttered something incoherent before slamming my mouth shut.

 

There was nothing wrong with Jean. I have known him since he moved here for all of our first year of high school. He was very handsome and my eyes traveled to his hand still in his ashy-colored hair. His face was maybe slightly too long to be considered pretty but it was still nice. He was wearing a casual hoodie, light blue jeans and brown sneakers. A bit basic but still appealing. I then looked around the room at all the other couples. I saw a hint of Mikasa and Eren as they walked into the kitchen and I chewed on my lip a little.

 

“Armin?”

 

My head snapped back to look at him. I took a quick breath as he now was turned looking right at me with concerned, brown eyes. A chill went down my spine and I my mouth fell open again.

“Are you alright?.. Sorry it was a bad suggestion”

Jean looked down to the side, breaking eye contact and carded through his undercut again. I shook my head and tried to get his attention.

 

“I d-didn’t know you would want to be with me”

The words came out all wrong and I chewed on my lip again.

“Armin, you are wonderfully smart and your eyes are so bright blue. How can anyone not want to be with you?”

Jean leaned over to brush my hair out of my eyes and there was a slight blush on his face. He did smell a bit like my cup earlier though so I was unsure what the redness came from. His hand stopped to rest on the side of my head, and it felt warm and safe.

 

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

I mumbled, looked down at my can and finished the last of it. Once I looked back up again, Jean was beaming a bright smile towards me and it made me smile too.

 

“Here, let me get you another one quickly.”

 

He got up, grabbed my can and disappeared into the kitchen. I sighed and sank back into the couch again. The room had started to blur and I hid my face in my hands. A couple minutes later, the couch dipped down again. I heard Jean shuffle a little before all of sudden I was pulled up onto his lap and another can popped into my hand. I looked up at him with wide eyes and he grinned a little stroking the side of my hair again. To my surprise it actually felt quite nice to sit on his lap like this. I opened my can and slowly sipped from it. After a while, I snuggled down a bit more as Jean was tracing circles on my arm.

 

I don’t know what time it was or how much had passed, but eventually a quite drunk Eren stumbled into the living room with his clothes all ruffled up. He almost fell on me and Jean as he flopped down next to us.

 

“Oi, horseface, what are you doing with my ride”

Eren slurred and glared harshly at Jean, who just grinned and winked at him.

 

“Cuddling, what did you do with your sister?”

Jean laughed and I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying not to giggle. Eren’s eyes somehow went even bigger than usual and he got up his fist clenched, ready to throw a punch.

 

“I swear Jean! You all know we aren’t even related for real!”

It was like Eren didn’t notice I was on Jeans lap as he went for the punch. I ducked but when nothing happened I looked up to see Mikasa’s hand firmly gripped around Eren’s raised arm.

 

“Armin it’s time to go home.”

She said quietly and glared a little at Eren. I nodded and squirmed my way out of Jean’s lap to get up. I turned around to look at him and chewed my lip a little.

 

“Sorry Jean I have to drive them home, before a certain someone starts another fight.”

I heard a low scoff behind me but Jean just smiled and nodded.

“It’s alright Armin, you got my phone number right?”

I nodded as an answer and looked down at my hands playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Text me tomorrow yeah? I want to hear how much Eren regrets his life choices”

Jean laughed and I smiled looking up at him.

“Alright I will. Thank you Jean.. For everything”

 

I said before turning to help Mikasa get a rather squirmy Eren into his car and back to their house. I figured Eren would get a pretty loud lecture from his mother so I opted to just park the car and get out to start walking home on my own.

“Will you be alright Armin?”

Mikasa looked a bit concerned but I just nodded.

“Yeah it’s just down the block after all, you take care of Eren alright.”

I smiled and waved. Mikasa nodded, slight blush on her face as she turned to hurry back inside.

 

The next day was Saturday, and when I woke up I put on some simple clothes to go down and have breakfast. I walked into the kitchen. My mother looked up from the kitchen table and scowled a little at my sweatpants but didn’t comment on it as I went to sit down in my normal seat. I was buttering my bread when she cleared her throat. I looked up.

 

“So I just got off the phone with Carla and she said Eren came home absolutely drunk last night. They could barely get him upstairs.”

Her eyes narrowed and she took a breath. She put her phone down while glaring over at me.

“You better not of touched a single drop of anything you understand”

“Don’t worry mom I didn’t touch anything”

 

I huffed a little and my shoulders sank as I looked down at my toast and juice, suddenly not so hungry anymore.

 

“He knows better than that honey, don’t give him such a hard time”

My father glanced up from his newspaper and my mother’s head whipped over to glare at him.

“He’s not 18, his friends were drinking and I didn’t want him to go in the first place!”

 

They started to argue and I gave up listening. I picked at my toast taking the crust off and leaving them for last. The juice didn’t taste right so I stood up to go put it all away next to the sink.

“You better finish that food young man, we don’t work for nothing you know.”

I shuddered as the harsh words flooded over me. I sat back down to try and force down the last of my breakfast.

 

I groaned and laid down on the bed and grabbed my phone. It was only ten in the morning but there was already about twenty messages, more than half were from Eren crying about last night. One was from Mikasa who asked if I got back safe and I sent her a quick reply. The last one was from Jean who complained about his slight headache and asked if I slept well.

I smiled and hummed a little as I thought about what to write back to him. Last nights events still seemed a bit surreal to me but it felt right.

 

After texting back and forth with both Jean and Eren for a good hour, I rolled over and reached for my school books. I was done with all my tests for this semester but as a senior I still wanted to make sure to keep on top of everything. My family was well known in these parts and ran a very successful business, so there was a lot of pressure for me to perform at top level.

I’m considered smart and was put in school earlier and also due to the fact my birthday was so late in the year, I have always been the smallest and youngest. Eren and Mikasa have always been there to back me up when things got to bad and for that I was grateful.

I spent the rest of the day studying, reading, and chatting on and off with everyone. They were trying to find a day to all go out Christmas shopping together. Since there was only one week left of school they decided next Friday would be as good as any.

 

 

***

 

 

The week passed rather quickly and uneventful. We all went to school, everyone had lunch together, which was loud and messy as usual. I was standing by my locker stuffing books into my bag as Jean came up next to me.

 

“Armin are you going to carry all of those rest of the afternoon?”

He glanced at my bag and I looked down at it. It was rather full with books but I shrugged, years of carrying books made me a bit stronger than I looked. I easily hoisted it onto my shoulder and turned to give him a bright smile.

“It’s alright, besides you will carry it if it gets too heavy, won’t you?”

I tilted my head and looked up at him. It was meant as a joke but he quickly nodded and held his hand out.

“I wouldn’t mind carrying it all day if you want.”

 

I rolled my eyes at his gesture and nudged my shoulder gently against his. I pushed past after spotting Eren and Mikasa looking at us from around the corner. Eren had a massive frown on his face and it looked like his sister had to hold him down for him not to pounce Jean right then and there as he followed right behind us.

“Are we all ready?”

I asked looking at Mikasa who seemed about the only sane one right now. She nodded and we headed down the hall. Eren and Jean had gotten into some kind of discussion about football. How those two played on the same team always surprised me but it was nice they could get along.

 

“We’ll be meeting up with Sasha, Connie, Krista, and Ymir over at the mall.”

Mikasa held her keys up and unlocked her car. The guys piled into the backseat and I rolled my eyes getting into the front passenger seat next to her. It would be a long afternoon with everyone hanging out together but it should be fine as long as food wasn’t involved.

 

I left my bag in the car as well all got out after parking, Jean walked around the car and took my hand. It surprised me a little but it was nice so I smiled up at him and we headed inside. Once inside we quickly located the others due to the fact there was an argument near a small hotdog stand, and we all rolled our eyes. Sasha.

We had been out for a couple hours and things around me had blurred out a little again. The other’s conversations went completely over my head. Everyone seemed to have bought more stuff for themselves rather than Christmas gifts and I sighed a little. Hugging myself I stopped by a shelf and looked at a book I’ve been wanting to get for a while. I stroked my finger over its back and pulled it gently out to read the back again. Arms wrapped suddenly around me and I jumped a little before Jean put his head onto of mine and I left out my breath slowly.

 

“See anything you like?”

He said softly and I nodded but put the book back on the shelf. The money I did have had to go to something for my mother.

“Armin, want me to get it for you?”

I turned a little to look up at him with wide eyes, stuttering a little and shaking my head.”

“Jean I can’t get you anything, it would be unfair”

 

He chuckled and stroked the hair out of my eyes looking into them while reaching over and pulling the book out.

“My birthday is in April, you can just get me something for me for then, yeah?”

I stood frozen in place with my eyes still wide open as I watched him walk over to pay for the book and even getting it wrapped.

Mikasa came over and gently shook me, which snapped me out of my trance.

 

“Armin are you alright?”

I had to look at her and nod softly she looked so concerned and I felt bad for worrying her.

“Jean just got me that book I’ve been wanting”

I blinked still not really believing it but the gap on the shelf behind me should have been proof enough. She smiled at me and nodded and we walked over to the rest of the group that finally seemed about ready to leave for the day.

 

Jean was going to walk home and held out the wrapped book for me to take. I took it and clutched it tightly to my chest and he gave me a quick hug.

“I won’t get to see you before Christmas so you should just take it now, open it whenever ok”

I nodded. He pulled away and said his goodbyes to everyone before leaving.

Mikasa had offered me a ride and I walked next to Eren over to her car. He was blabbering about some candles he had gotten for his mother, but I was too focused on the book tightly wrapped in my arms to really pay any attention.

Once home I hurried upstairs and burrowed my way down under the covers of my bed and quickly unwrapped it. I took in a quick breath and smiled widely down at the book and hugged it closely again.

 

 

***

 

 

Waking up Christmas morning there was cheery festive music playing throughout the house. I snorted softly, it didn’t fit this house at all. I yawned as I walked downstairs in the shorts and soft shirt I had been sleeping in, with my hair pointing in all sorts of directions. I found my mother in the kitchen already cooking and she turned to me, eyes widening almost comically.

“Oh my lord, Armin! What on earth..! People will be here in like 2 hours and you are looking like that! Go get ready immediately!”

 

She yelled hysterically and I walked over to the fridge to at least get a drink before I was banished. I clutched it and hurried upstairs as mother was still yelling, and now complaining about how I had interrupted her schedule and taken the “wrong milk” for my cereal yesterday. This was already a wonderful Christmas morning.

Before getting ready to shower I decided to be a bit brave so I grabbed my phone and quickly snapped a picture of myself in my outfit, and quickly sent it through to Jean with the capitation: _Don’t I look ready for a cozy Christmas morning?_ I smiled and walked into my bathroom to take a shower and sort my pointy hair out.

 

When I returned and checked my phone, I hurried to open the response from Jean. It was a picture of himself in his sweatpants and t-shirt by the fireplace in his living room eating breakfast and doing a thumbs up. I smiled a little but felt a bit jealous he was allowed to lounge around so underdressed. We texted back and forth for a little while I was getting dressed, and I thanked him for the hundredth time for the book he had given me.

I made my way back downstairs dressed up in more formal clothes. A couple of my more distant family members had shown up, but no one payed attention to me as I snuck over to pop myself down by our own fireplace. I sneakily snapped a picture of myself and posted it to my friends before I hid my phone, and before my mother found another reason to yell at me.

 

The day and evening passed without anything really worth noting happening. We opened gifts, had dinner and everyone was talking and catching up. None of my relatives were around my age so there wasn’t really anyone I could hang out with. My younger cousins were playing with their new toys in the dining room after all the food had been cleared away. After promptly playing the piano for about 30 minutes my mother seemed pleased, and let me escape back up to my own room where I sank slowly down on my desk chair and sighed.

 

I was holding the sides of my head, leaning forward when I heard a low knock on my door. I looked up to see my grandfather walk over towards me. He stopped next to me and gently rubbed my back.

“Armin how have you been? How is school?”

I huffed out a breath and leaned into his touch. Except for my close friends, I think my grandfather is the only other person that really is concerned with me and how I’m doing.

“I’m doing alright… I’m dating someone”

I said cautiously looking up at him from under my fringe, chewing my lip. He was smiling warmly down at me and didn’t stop rubbing my back.

“I’m guessing by your expression you haven’t told your mother yet, and I’m also guessing this someone is not a girl”

 

His movements stopped and I looked back down at my hands on the desk and nodded feeling a bit deflated. I wasn’t sure how my mother would react and I hadn’t told her about Jean yet. My leg started to bounce and I sighed grabbing the sides of my head again. My grandfather cleared his throat.

“If you are happy you shouldn’t care about her opinion Armin. I can help you talk to her if you want to.”

He sounded a little annoyed and I winced and shook my head quickly. His hand went to gently pat the top of my head and it had me relax a little bit. Of course he wasn’t angry with me but rather with his own daughter.

 

“I’ll be alright Grandpa, but thank you... really”

I looked up at him. I was grateful, I really was. Even though I knew it didn’t always show. He nodded gently and huffed a little turning to the door to leave.

“Call me any time Armin, alright? I better head back downstairs”

With that he headed back out and closed the door gently behind him. I sat at the desk for a little while longer before going to change out of my clothes and crawled up in bed to spend the rest of the night reading.

 

 

***

 

 

 

New Years was spent pretty much the same as Christmas. My parents dragged me to this big event at their workplace. There were a lot of adults and champagne.

 

To my luck though Krista was there, dragged by her parents too. We huddled up in a space under some stairs with a bowl of stolen snacks and a glass each of the apparently expensive champagne. We laughed and took a couple selfies together with all kinds of silly filters she suggested, and watched the posts from our other friends. Most of them were at a big party someone from school had arranged, and Krista was heartbroken she couldn’t be there with Ymir.

 

We laughed when the inevitable pictures of Eren all over Mikasa started to pop up and we shook our heads. He really shouldn’t be allowed to drink around her. Close to midnight, Krista got up and dragged me over to some oversized windows where everyone else was gathered to watch the fireworks.

 

We giggled counting down the new year and Krista snapped a picture of her kissing my cheek. We celebrated by running off with another pair of champagne glasses to hide back under our stairs and watch the reactions of our partners as she posted the picture online.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that wasn't to awful of a read!
> 
> I feel like maybe i should point out that Eren and Mikasa lives with the Yeager's but she is not officially adopted. 
> 
> Also this will, as you can tell, Start as Armin/Jean. It will take some time before Levi comes into the picture.  
> I'm sorry! please hang in there!  
> I will try and make it worth your time i promise!
> 
> Oh and i'm posting chapter 2 right after this as a treat!  
> After that i will fall into weekly updates on sundays, unless something comes up.


	2. Pizza, Popcorn and Prom

 

 

The next, and final, semester started and the weeks passed quite normally. I hung out with my friends like usual. Jean and I chatted a lot online and sat next to each other at lunch.  
While staring into my locker just before the last period of the week, I heard Jean call for me. I looked up smiling, pushing my hair out of my face.

“Hey”  
He stopped by me and shuffled a little looking at his feet before clearing his throat and looking back up at me. I blinked a little in confusion.

 

“Next Tuesday after school, would you come out with me?.. Like a Date?”  
A small blush spread over his face and I froze looking at him. I wondered why he would be so nervous all of sudden and it took me a little bit of counting to realize next Tuesday was Valentine’s Day and now I joined him in blushing like an idiot in the middle of the hallway.

 

“J-jean!”  
I stuttered looking around quickly but nodded my head yes at the same time, as he chuckled a little. He put his arm around my shoulder which nuzzled into the side of my hair.  
“I’m glad, right after school. Yeah? You don’t have to dress up or anything so don’t worry.”  
He let me go and I scrambled to get my books out of my locker but dropped half of them in the process. Jean being Jean picked them up and held them up for me to take.

 

I was still blushing like an idiot as I hurried into my seat for math. Eren looked up at me and snorted.  
“What did horseface do this time?”  
“He asked me out on a date.”  
I blurted out without thinking and his jaw dropped open. Then he grinned widely and dunked me in the back rather harshly.

 

“Well played, you finally got that pony you wanted!”  
Eren laughed and shook his head. Referring to the one incident when I was five and had spent a good month crying to my parents that I wanted a pony like Krista had. I shook my head, opened my books and quietly started working.

 

Half an hour into the class Eren was groaning, and laying spread out over his books and pulling at his hair. He might be a good friend and good sports player but math wasn’t really his thing. I sighed and leaned over, poking him in the ribs with the top end of my pencil.

“What are you stuck on? Let me see.”  
Eren jumped up, almost falling out of his seat but then smiled brightly and scooted a bit closer so I could help him. Sure he might be getting a scholarship for college but I still couldn’t let my best friend graduate with bad grades.

  
I spent the weekend rummaging through my closet like a madman. At one point my mother walked in and saw the clothes spread around the entire room. She shrieked and slammed the door behind her again. It made me laugh and I shook my head looking down at the light blue button up shirt I was holding. If she knew why my room was a mess she would probably get furious.

I walked over to my desk and brushed a hoodie off it. I stroked the front of the book Jean had gotten me. Being the perfect son was hard work. I sighed a little and started to pick up the rest of the clothes before I got into more trouble. I stopped by the mirror and brushed my hair out my eyes, but it kept falling back and I huffed annoyed. Krista and Mikasa sometimes helped me pull it away with bobby pins or hair clips, but I dreaded my mother’s reaction and would always make sure to return them at the end of the school day.

  
Tuesday came way too quickly. I struggled with the buttons on the light blue shirt in the morning and my hair just wouldn’t behave. I groaned while shoving my books into my bag and hurried downstairs. I skidded to a stop by the front door and hoped to escape with no interrogation but I wasn’t so lucky. My father cleared his throat and looked down at me with a slight frown on his usually passive face.

“I thought you normally wore white shirts to school.”  
His voice vibrated through me and I wanted to shrink into a ball. I chewed my lip a little and played with the strap of my bag.

“It got a stain, s-so I’m having it cleaned.”  
I stuttered a little but hoped my lie was still good enough. My father sighed but turned to walk back towards his office.

 

“Be more careful next time”  
He added before disappearing. I let out the breath I had been holding in and rushed out the door. It hurt. By the time I arrived at school I was huffing slightly and sank down on a bench near my locker. I went on runs almost every day so why I was so out of breath I didn’t really understand. I glanced at the time on my phone and realized I must've have ran all the way because it was way too early.

 

I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them. I stayed like that until a thump made me look up. I noticed Jean had sat down next to me. He reached his hand out and stroked my cheek.

“Armin are you crying?”  
He looked a bit shocked. I reached up to touch my face, and he was right. Tears were slowly running down my face, and now I felt like an idiot. I buried my face back to my knees and huffed. I felt him shift closer and put his arm around me.  
  
“I’m alright, sorry.”  
I muttered and leaned into him. After wiping my eyes with my sleeves, I looked up at him and sighed.  
“I totally ruined today before it even started.”  
  
“You are fine Armin.”  
Jean chuckled and smiled giving me a slight hug before he stood up. I joined him and stretched a little, stiff from being curled up for too long.

“I’ll come meet up with you here after school alright?”  
Jean tilted his head and I nodded in answer while sorting out things in my locker. I was excited to be out, just the two of us. I smiled softly to myself and blushed a little, happy I could hide behind the door of my tiny locker.

 

Sitting in Jean’s truck on the way into town I was playing with the bottom hem of my jacket and chewed on my lip. I glanced over at Jean. He was busy nodding his head along with the music, and I blushed softly leaning over to run my hand through his darker undercut.  
  
He let out a hum and leaned into my touch and I felt thrilled. We parked soon after and I looked around curiously. I didn’t have the chance to go into town that often and I was excited. I tilted my head settling my bag in my seat as I got out, and watched Jean walk around the truck.

“Where are we going?”

 

“I was thinking we could get pizza… and watch a movie... if that’s ok with you, of course.”  
He looked unsure and looked around nervously, and jumped a little as I clapped my hands in excitement. The only times I had pizza was the few times me Eren and Mikasa decided to camp out in their basement when their parents were out of town.

“Pizza is perfect!”  
I smiled brightly and wrapped both my arms around his and bounced a little. Jean chuckled and shook his head a little. We started to walk towards what I assumed was the direction of a pizza place.

 

I sipped on my cola and looked around a little at the other people around us. The place was alright, the light was a little bit too dim for my liking but it was fine. I snapped my eyes back on Jean and tried to pay attention to what he was talking about. I tilted my head and bobbed my leg up and down a little bit. My smile widened and my eyes sparkled as the waiter came out and placed a big pizza on our table. I quickly went to put some on my plate.

 

“Didn’t know you liked pizza that much.”  
Jean smiled eating his slowly, and watched me as I was happily chomping down, already on my second slice. I had skipped breakfast in my rush to get ready, and now I was kind of happy for it, as I would have more room for the delicious pizza.

  
“I don’t get to have it that often.”  
I manage to squeak out after quickly swallowing my mouthful. Halfway through my fourth piece I had to slow down a little. Someone at a table across from us had given us a weird look, and the pizza all of sudden kind of tasted like cotton in my mouth. I dropped the rest of it down on my plate and carefully sipped my soda.

  
“What movie would you like to watch?”  
I looked back up at Jean. He was smiling softly towards me and it made me feel a bit better. Biting my lip, I sighed a little.

“Sorry I’m not really caught up with movies this year. I’ve been busy studying for my extra credits.”  
I looked down at my hands and felt his hand on the side of my head smoothing down my hair a little.

 

“Armin you don’t have to worry so much. I’ll just pick something then. Is that ok?”  
I nodded gratefully. When he asked if I was ready to leave, I held my finger up and quickly took another bite of my last slice and finished my soda. I smiled brightly to him and got up from my chair.

  
Now in the murky room of the cinema, I was happily cradling a massive bucket of popcorns we had gotten, and I had another cola at my side. I think this is heaven. I leaned into Jean as the lights dimmed even more, and the big screen burst out in bright colors making me blink a little. We watched the movie in silence but that was alright. I kept munching on my popcorn, and Jean’s hand bumped into mine several times. He also kept gently touching my hair or my cheek.

  
When the movie ended, I stretched out in my seat feeling very content with myself. I smiled up to Jean who had already gotten up and was holding his hand out for me. I grabbed it and pulled myself up. We headed outside and started to walk back towards his truck. I chewed my lip a little and gently grabbed Jean's hand and glanced up at him through my fringe. He looked down at our hands, a little surprised, but then intertwined our fingers which made my heart flutter. When we got back to the truck he lifted my hand and gave my knuckles a gentle kiss before letting go and walking around to the driver side. I thought I was going to faint then and there, but somehow I managed to squirm my way into my seat, blushing.

 

We pulled up in front of my house and I looked down at my bag in my lap. I went to open the door to get out when Jean grabbed me and pulled me closer. I blinked looking up at him questioning. Before I manage to gather my thoughts to ask what was wrong his lips crashed into mine, and my breath hitched and I clutched my bag tighter. The next second I was melting, into the seat, into Jean. Just melting and my breath escaped a bit shakily. Then it was over and Jean held his hand on my cheek.  
“I’m sorry are you alright?”  
He looked a bit flustered and I nodded. My face bright red and pulling my bag closer to my chest again. I inhaled shakily and smiled at him, tilting my head into his hand.

 

“Yeah I’m alright”  
He looked pleased. We said our goodbyes and agreed to meet up before school tomorrow and get breakfast. I got out of the car and stood by the road, waving to him as he drove off. I waited another minute or so, gathering my thoughts, taking some deep breaths before turning and walking up to my house.

 

I snuck quietly inside and tried to hurry towards the stairs before being noticed. I successfully made it to my room without running into my parents. I flopped down on bed and looked up at the ceiling smiling like an idiot. I touched my lip slightly and happily sighed.  
Today was great.

  
I pulled my phone out and went to type to my friends but bit my lip glancing over to the door, then decided to tell them in person the next day instead.

 

 

***

 

 

After Valentine’s the weeks flew by. Jean and I went on a couple more dates. We hung out a lot at his place. He had the whole basement to himself with a big living room area, bedroom and his own bathroom. It was also less risky since I still hadn’t gathered the nerves to tell my mother about us. Jean understood though and didn’t pressure me. His mother also loved having me over and showered us with sandwiches and snacks.

 

When I wasn’t with Jean, I was drowning myself in schoolwork trying to get as many credits as I possibly could. I was nose deep in a history book and trying to shove some food into myself before lunch was over. When I felt myself getting dragged up in someones lap and I huffed slightly annoyed.

“Jean I need to read this chapter and get this essay done before tomorrow”  
I still leaned up and kissed his cheek while he wrapped an arm around me to keep me steady.

 

“I know, I know, sorry. Just listen to me for two minutes please?”  
He chuckled softly and nuzzled into my hair before leaning over to his bag. I nodded and leaned into him rubbing my eyes slightly. I blinked when he held up two pieces of paper towards me and I sucked in a breath as I realized what they were.

 

“Armin, come to prom with me?”  
He was blushing slightly, but I was already smiling widely. I turned in his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck nodding furiously.

“Yes of c-course!”  
I squealed and bounced a little, Jean chuckled and put a hand on top of my head to keep me from going to crazy. I kissed his cheek and nuzzled into his neck and sighed contently. I looked up and saw Eren coming over towards us and I grinned.

 

“Didn’t know horses could dance Jean.”  
Eren grinned back at me and I rolled my eyes playfully. The comment however made Jean put me down on my seat. He got up to stare down at him and soon they were deep into an argument about something stupid again.

 

Mikasa sat down next to me, and I turned my attention back to my book, trying to find where I had left off.

 

“Armin what about your mother?”  
I sucked in a breath as her words sank into me. I groaned laying my head down on top of the now blurred text. If I had a date that meant I would need permission to be out all night. I’d also need clothes, most likely a suit of some sort, but I don’t have any money so I have no choice but to ask her.

 

“I’ll think of something.”  
Muttering I gathered my stuff up, shoved my books into my bag, sank back down and grabbed the sides of my head. There was still a good 4 weeks, I had time. No need to panic. I don’t know where Eren or Jean had gone, but I noticed Krista sat down on my other side. Now both her and Mikasa were rubbing my back gently.

 

“Want me to take you home?”  
Krista’s voice ripped me out of my own thoughts and I shook my head no. I would be alright. The bell rang and we all went to get up and split for our individual classes.

By the time last period finished my head was spinning like crazy. I was huddled down on the floor in the small space next to my locker, trying to gather enough strength to actually get my books out and go home. I dreaded talking to my mother.

 

“Armin come on, what books do you need?”  
I looked up and blinked trying to focus on Mikasa’s worried eyes that were keeping a keen eye on me. I mumbled something semi coherent, she nodded. Watching as she replaced my books and then gently pulled me up. We somehow made it to her car and she drove me all the way home.  
By the time we arrived, I felt a lot better. I declined her offer to stay with me and told her I would text her later. Sighing I walked through the door, it would be another hour or so before anyone got home anyway. I made a snack and dragged myself upstairs to try and finish my essay before it went completely forgotten.

 

Once I heard the front door close and the shuffling of my parents getting home, I huffed and stretched a little. I had come up with a game plan and felt a little bit better. Putting my stuff away and straightening out my clothes I sucked in a deep breath before heading downstairs. My mother was on the phone while pulling stuff out for dinner, and I sat down at the table waiting for her to finish.

 

“Mom, I’ll need a suit from prom.”  
I manage to say calmly as she put her phone down. She didn’t stop what she was doing, just hummed a response and ran a hand through her hair.

“So you managed to get a date?”  
She glanced over at me and I chewed my lip, playing with the hem of my shirt.

 

“W-we’re all going as a group, all of us.”  
I stuttered and glanced up at her, she didn’t look pleased but not angry either and I relaxed a bit in my seat. She snorted and looked back at whatever she was cooking.

“With the guys? Couldn’t you of taken Krista? I’m sure her parents wouldn’t mind. Did you even bother asking her?”  
I sighed a little, our parents were close and I knew they wanted us to get together but Krista had Ymir and I had never seen her as anything more than a friend.

“Mom all of us, Mikasa, Sasha and Krista included.”  
She let out another sigh but didn’t argue further and I secretly cheered.

 

“Fine, I’ll get you an appointment later, but for now please let me finish dinner.”  
I nodded and sat quietly watching her. I don’t know why she bothered really. I was better at cooking than she was, but I would never dare to complain about it. I quietly ate the food that was served to me and half listened to my parents argue about the prom situation. I said a silent prayer to myself, hoping my friends would cover for me if questioned.

 

 

***

 

 

The next couple weeks passed way too quickly. I managed to get my suit and do all the studies I had set out to do, and prom was next week. Eren, Mikasa, and I were hanging out in Jean’s basement discussing details. I was nuzzled up close to Jean who was laid out over most of his couch and I sighed. It had taken a lot of convincing to make it so Mikasa and Eren were picking me up and not him. I felt bad but I didn’t really have a choice, I’m sure my parents would be questioning it if only he showed up.

 

“Yo, I heard a rumor that Reiner is going to try and spike the punch.”  
Eren barked out and snapped me out of my thoughts. I shook as Jean laughed and stroked gently up and down my arm.

“I’m not surprised about that in the least, he’s been trying to get Annie drunk for months.”

They continued chatting back and forth, and I just shook my head. I didn’t really see the point in getting so drunk you didn’t have control over yourself. Huffing I sat up a little and crossed my arms.

 

“Honestly he should just get with Bert already and get it over with. We all know that’s what they both really want.”  
I spat out and everyone turned to stare at me with their mouths dropped open. What. I mumbled quietly, and then they all burst out laughing and I smiled joining them. Jean hugged me a bit tighter to his chest and kissed my hair and I blushed. We hadn’t really done anything else above cuddling and kissing so it wasn’t really my place at all to tell other people what to do with their relationship.

 

 

**

 

 

I dusted myself down a little bit and took a last look at my hair in the mirror before opening my door and heading down the stairs. Hearing a familiar laugh in the hallway I hurried down the last couple of steps. To my surprise Krista was standing proudly in a beautiful light blue full length dress smiling up at me.

 

“You look stunning Armin!”  
She exclaimed and hugged around my arm. She was much taller than usual and it caught me off guard before. I realized she must be wearing rather tall heels. I looked down at my own outfit, it was pencil grey and probably a little bit too high class for tonight's event, but I had just gone with it. My mother came around the corner, followed by my father and Krista’s parents. They all let out delighted sounds and I had to roll my eyes a little.

 

After followed what felt like an hour of photos being taken, we were only saved by the doorbell ringing. We excused ourselves and hurried outside to meet up with Eren and Mikasa. Once in the car, both me and Krista sank down in the back seat and groaned loudly.

 

“That bad?”  
Mikasa looked over her shoulder, she was in a red dress quite similar to Krista’s but a little shorter. Eren had also been put in a suit though his was black and he looked so out of character I had to laugh a little.

“Don’t worry we are used to it.”  
I smiled and looked over to Krista who was giggling and nodding her head in agreement. The ride to school didn’t take too long, and once we parked I was freaking out a little bit keeping my eyes open, trying to spot Jean.

 

We made it all the way inside to the dimly lit main room before two strong arms wrapped around me and lips tickled my neck. I smiled and leaned into Jean and looked up at his face, his eyes sparkled a he smiled back down at me.

 

“Armin, you look amazing like that.”  
I blushed at his words and shook my head, turning and hiding my face against his neck.

 

“Yes you do, now do you want to get a drink?”  
I nodded to that and stepped away from him, taking his hand as he made his way through the crowded room over to the drinks and snacks. I laughed spotting Sasha and Connie in charge of the table and wondered how long the snacks would last, and who decided to put Sasha in charge of them.

 

“Armin!”  
She chirped and bent down beneath the table but quickly popped back up again with a grin.  
“Look I saved some colas just for you!”

“Thank you Sasha.”  
Somehow, even though she always seemed so over the top, she knew what people needed and I was grateful. I eyed the punch sideways, the bobbing strawberries looking very tempting.  
“Have you seen Reiner?”

“Nu uh.”  
She looked confused over my question but shook her head in a response. I smiled brightly and nudged Jean telling him I wanted a cup of punch too, and he happily filled one for me. We headed over to a small table where the others were set up. I excitedly fished out the red, slightly fizzy berries out of my drink and ate them.

 

It took a little bit for everyone to get comfortable ,but soon almost everyone was dancing and mingling, and the music was actually rather good. Surprisingly I was enjoying myself and even managed to dance with Jean. We sat back down at our table and he asked me if I wanted another drink. I had spotted a familiar pair of broad shoulders and blonde head just a couple minutes ago, circling the snack table. So I quickly shook my head and cradled my cola can.

 

When Jean came back and slumped down back next to me, I could smell the alcohol from his cup and I scrunched my nose a little. However when he gently fished out a piece of fruit and held it out for me I couldn’t deny. Leaning forward opening my mouth slightly and he happily fed it to me. It still tasted sweet. I was delighted and snuggled up closer to him.  
The evening passed without any major incidents and I was happy that no one in our group seemed overly drunk. Jean was holding me close as we were slowly dancing to the last song and I sighed softly. My head felt clear but as usual, other people’s faces had blurred a little on the edge of my vision and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

 

“Do you want to go?..”  
Looking up as he spoke, he seemed to trail of a little bit towards the end of his question and I tilted my head curiously. He laughed and stroked my cheek but before he got to continue Eren bumped into us rather giggly.

 

“Are you guys coming with us to Reiner’s place?”  
He leant onto Jean and they both looked at me but I timidly shook my head. I would rather not spend the night around more people, or more drinks for that matter. Jean took my hand caressing my knuckles gently, soothing.

“We’ll be going to my place.”  
Jean pulled me gently into his side and Eren shrugged, pushing off.

 

“Your loss man, see you around!”  
Watching as he walked off and joined up with Mikasa and everyone else that seemed to be getting ready to leave for what sounded like it could be a pretty crazy party. I locked eyes with her and she looked a bit concerned. Smiling gently, I nuzzled into Jean’s shoulder and nodded subtly. She seemed to relax and waved me goodbye before turning and exiting with the others.

 

Walking out to the parking lot, I quickly snatched Jean’s keys. He looked a bit confused as I jumped into the driver seat and looked back out at him. Laughing a little as he looked absolutely dumbfounded.

 

“Jean I do know how to drive you know. I have a license, just not a car. And you have been drinking.”  
I booped his nose with my index finger before closing the door and getting familiar with the inside of the truck. Smiling over as he joined me on the passenger side, and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

“I did wonder how Eren always got home from all those parties.”  
He chuckled and snaked an arm around me, nuzzling it into my neck. I huffed and rolled my eyes slightly. Yeah trying to get Eren home was always a joy I could go without. Luckily Jean didn’t seem to be as crazy even though they were usually quite alike. Drunk or not.

 

 

 

Parking outside and locking the truck up, we quietly snuck inside trying to avoid getting caught up by his mother. His hands were on me the entire time down the stairs and I giggled pushing him playfully.

“Jean careful you will make us fall.”

“Wouldn’t mind being under you.”  
He laughed softly in my ear and it sent a shiver down my spine. I knew what he meant and it didn’t make me less nervous. His hands gently ran through my hair and he brushed it out of my eyes.

 

“You really are beautiful Armin.”  
My big blue eyes met his Ambers and I melted slightly as his lips met mine in a deep kiss. The bed bumped against the back of my knees making me fall backwards slowly. I didn’t pay it much attention and Jean followed hovering above me. His lips crashed into mine again and I gasped softly, the room all of sudden feeling to hot and I squirmed to get out of my suit jacket.

 

He seemed to understand and quickly helped me out dropping it somewhere out of sight. His warm hands continued under the bottom of my shirt and splayed over my slender waist and stomach. Placing sloppy kisses to the side of my neck he undid the buttons and then lent back looking down at me. I struggled to catch my breath as he looked down at me with a look like he was going to eat me whole. He undid his own jacket and shirt and I marveled at his muscles letting out a delighted sigh as he lent down and started kissing me again.

 

By the time he pulled back I was a mess and struggling to form any sort of coherent thought. Letting out a low laugh when all of sudden Jean turned us around and I gazed down at him, warm strong hands keeping me balanced on top of him. Giggling playfully I shifted my weight grinding my hips down and he groaned breathlessly and lolled his head back.

 

“Armin please…”  
He huffed tugging at the hem of my pants dipping his thumbs down and tried to get them off. Trembling lightly and blushing I moved back a little to give us both enough space to undress further. Jean was already straining against his underwear and I hesitated not really sure what to do next.  
He gently pulled me on top of himself and stroked my cheek before pressing his lips to mine again. The motion of him leaning up slightly made our lengths press together and I let out a low soft moan. This seemed to coax him on as his hands gently dipped into the back of my underwear and gently push them down ghosting his hands over my backside.

 

I slumped forward as his hands traveled to my front. His hands pressed and rubbed against my shaft. Carefully grabbing me and giving me a few soft pumps that embarrassingly enough had me harden up almost immediately. Whining softly as his hands stopped and they dropped to his sides. I ground down towards him willing him to touch me again.

 

“Armin… I need you…”  
His words were filled with need and his eyes stared hazily at the ceiling and I stopped moving. Oh…, the realization hit me of why he had pulled me on top and I bit my lip. I had an idea what I needed to do but I thought it would have been the other way around. Now I felt stupid, did it really matter in the end? Surely not, right? My head was spinning trying to gather my thoughts when Jean pushed up towards me with a needy groan.

 

“Sorry”  
I mumbled softly and leaned down to kiss his neck and down his chest. My small hands laid across his stomach and I looked up at him. His chest was rising up and down rapidly and he trembled under every small touch. Feeling rather proud I could make him react like that made me less nervous as I moved my hands down the sides and tugged his underwear of.

 

I sucked in a breath looking at what I had released and was secretly maybe a little happy I was the one on top. To not get too intimidated I pulled his leg up and placed gentle kisses on the inside of his thigh.

 

“J-jean we’ll need…”  
Biting my lip unable to finish the sentence, it didn’t matter though since he already had fished out a small tube and held it out towards me smiling lazily. At least one of seemed to know what they were doing and I took it with trembling hands. The liquid felt cold against my fingers and I rubbed them together a little bit, intrigued.

 

Surprisingly it didn’t take me long until I had Jean in a wriggling heap underneath me. Silently thanking my twelve years of piano playing for my dexterity as I watched my slender fingers dip in and out. Jeans hands had dropped of me grasping desperately for the sheets around him.

 

I leaned forward pulling my fingers out a last time and aligning myself before gently pushing in. It was tight, almost painfully so and I stopped to look up at Jean's face. He groaned softly and furrowed his brows. Keeping myself balanced above him was hard and a bit awkward as I moved forward placing kisses on his neck. Soon his eyes glazed back over and he rocked down on me causing a couple of soft moans to slip out of my throat.

He quickly found himself a pace and I tried my best to keep up smiling at the rather loud noises I manage to coax out of the man under me. It was still tight and a bit weird to move like this but it felt good, my arms shaking as I shifted my weight.

 

“Jean…”  
I whimpered out as he tightened even more around me and arched his back from the bed as he released over himself and then slumped back hard on the bed panting. His hips stopped moving and I squirmed painfully close myself and I squeezed my eyes shut.  
“J-jean...Please…”  
I begged willing him to go on for just a little bit longer. Looking down at him again it looked like he was about to pass out. Trembling I stopped my movement and lent back sliding out of him. Embarrassed I scrambled quickly of the bed and into his bathroom and locked the door behind me.

 

Once safety hidden it didn’t take long for me to finish myself off and I sank down on the floor still by the door. Soon as I had caught my breath I hurried to wash my hands and timidly peeked my head back out into the bedroom. Jean had turned over but it looked like he had somehow cleaned of and put his underwear back on. I quietly moved over to find mine and pulled them on as well, then slipped into the bed with him.

 

“Armin?”  
He mumbled, sleepily reaching out to hold my cheek. I leaned into his touch and kissed his palm. He smiled and pulled me into his chest. My back was towards him and he cradled me closely.  
“You are amazing, you know that right? I love you Armin.”  
His breath tickled my neck as he spoke, and the words melted whatever hesitation that was left in me. I snuggled as close as I could, hugging his arms around me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Holds hands up for protection*
> 
> Hold up! before you die from too much awkwardness after that.  
> I fully intended it to be cringy, don't ask my why, just embrace it. 
> 
> And i promise it was just as hard to write as it is to read!  
> >.<


	3. Moving up in life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Ty so much for leaving the kudos! (5 was totally my goal, how sad isn't that?! XD)
> 
> Please enjoy another chapter :)

 

  
  


Graduation was right around the corner and everyone was freaking out trying to get ready for finals. Somehow Krista, Mikasa and Sasha had decided to hang out at my place to study for math. The room was silent except some pretty constant snacking noises from Sasha with her bag of potato chips. How she could eat and get anything done at the same time, eluded me.

  
  


“Sasha you will get my bed dirty with all the crumbles.”

I sighed while trying to nudge her. She giggled and rolled out of reach, accidently tipping the bag of chips all over herself. Groaning I face-palmed.

 

“I’m sure you get it plenty dirty when Jean is over!”

She laughed while sitting up, and brushing herself down, scattering bits of food everywhere. Krista stopped writing and looked up at her with wide eyes threatening to pop out of her sockets. Mikasa put her pencil down as well, and glanced up at me quietly.

 

“Not this bed…”

I mumbled quietly, blushing and trying to busy myself with cleaning up after my friend. Giving up, I just grabbed the entire comforter and pulled it off, putting it by my door in a pile.

 

“Oh my god! Spill!”

Sasha was screeching and practically jumped on top of poor Krista shaking her.

“Our Armin is growing up!”

 

Now I wish I hadn’t taken the cover off as I wanted to crawl under it and pretend I wasn’t in the room. I fidgeted with the ends of my cardigan, chewing lightly on my lip. I looked back up and both girls were looking at me with curious eyes. I sighed, leaning my head back on the wall.

 

“I-it definitely got better after the first time.”

I blurted out and pulled my knees up hiding behind them as my face somehow got even redder. I heard them gasp when I peeked out and they both had massive grins plastered on their faces. Luckily for me before they could inquire about more details, Mikasa spoke up.

 

“Armin did you get the letters from college yet?”

The other girls sighed, a bit disappointed they wouldn’t get any more gossip, at least for now. I shook my head to Mikasa and she looked concerned.

 

“What about your scholarships?”

I shook my head again and went to get off the bed.

 

“Did you?”

I asked her while looking through the stuff on my desk, making sure I hadn’t overlooked anything important. The tone of her voice led me to believe something was not right.

 

“Yeah I got both mine weeks ago.”

She answered getting up to walk over to me. I stared out the window and hugged myself. A gentle hand was placed on my back and I sighed at the contact.

 

“When will your mother be home?”

 

“Half hour maybe.”

 

“Want me to stay?”

Her hand shifted with a gentle rub and I shook my head, dropping my arms, still looking out the window. I silently thanked her as I heard her usher Krista and Sasha to gather all their stuff, it was time to leave.

I stayed in the same spot hearing the front door close as my friends left and then open again as my parents got home. Only moving when being called down for dinner about an hour later. I was shifting the food around on my plate until a snort made me look up. Finding my mother staring at me I flinched.

 

“What’s wrong with you today? I thought you had a study day, why do you look so tired?”

She put her fork down and glared right at me.

 

“Mom did I get any letters from college?”

I held my breath, waiting for a response and didn’t miss the glance my parents gave each other before they looked back at me.

 

“You won’t be going to college here Armin.”

She stated shortly and went back to her food like that was the most obvious thing she had said all year.

 

“E-excuse me?”

I stuttered and she sighed unhappily, looking back up at me.

 

“Do you never pay attention? We are moving before the next semester, we’ll be two hours away from here. You will be attending a college over there. They have an excellent economy course that will be great for you.”

Her eyes narrowed as she observed me. My mouth fell open as I tried to form words and my body trembled with annoyance. This was the first time I heard anything of this and I shakily took a sip of my water to gather myself.

 

“What about my scholarship here for the history and language major..?”

I manage to stutter out and she shook her head looking disappointed.

 

“Armin, it's better if you study economy so you can take over the company one day and you know that.”

 

“B-but what about my friends?... Can’t I apply for the dorm here?”

I thought of Jean mostly and closed my eyes briefly, trying to will myself to calm down. 

 

“We already got a house. It has a loft space above the garage, its own separate kitchen and bathroom. It will be perfect for you to start getting more independent.”

 

What's the point of being independent, if they were still in the same house? I opened my eyes and looked pleadingly over to my father. I knew it was a lost cause but I hoped that maybe for once he would understand.

 

“Your mother spent a lot of time and favors to get you moved so late after applications Armin.” 

 

“But…”

 

“ENOUGH!”

My mother slammed her hand on the table and I jumped in my seat. Trying to make myself smaller as her furious eyes burned right through me.

“Armin you are not eighteen yet, so you don’t have a choice. Do you understand? We are your parents. This is final!”

 

I stood up quickly, my chair fell backwards and I scrambled to run out of there. I Somehow made it up the stairs and into my room. I sunk down on the carpet and my eyes spilled over with large tears. I tried to catch my breath but it was futile and I curled up into a ball holding my knees close.

  
  
  


By the time I managed to uncurl, it had gotten dark outside and my entire body was sore. I dragged myself over so I could get my phone, before laying back down on the floor and sending a shaky text to Krista asking if she was busy.

 

It didn’t take long for the doorbell to ring. I listened as my mother welcomed Krista with a happy and cheery voice.  _ Disgusting.  _ I manage to pull myself up so I was sitting up with my back towards the bed leaning my head on it. I didn’t look over as my door slowly peeked open.

“Armin…”

Krista wrapped her small body around mine and burrowed her face into my hair.

“Sorry, I know I'm not Jean.”

 

I shook my head and turned to curl up against her. Sure I wanted him to hold me but more than anything I just needed comfort. I knew my mother wouldn’t of let anyone else but Krista in unannounced. I hiccupped, my body still trembling as she stroked my hair.

  
  


It took a long while for me to explain everything that happened. I passed her my phone so she could help me tell everyone else. We decided she would stay the night and I went for a shower. She went to politely ask for another cover since mine was still covered in potato chips.

“My parents love you so much…”

I mumbled as we laid down to sleep for the night. Krista wore one of my t-shirts that funnily enough was big on her even though I was so small myself.

 

“It would be so much easier if we could just love each other, huh?”

She let out a small laugh and I joined her, then huffed and pulled a pillow over my head. It’s sad, but yes if I had felt anything more then friendly love for her our lives would be easier.

 

“Yeah it would've saved both of us a lot of trouble.”

I sighed and peeked out to look at her as she stared up at the ceiling.

 

“I’ll miss you Armin…”

Her bottom lip trembled a little and I hugged around her, pulling her into me. We soon fell asleep exhausted from having to deal with our parents.

Somehow Krista managed to get me dressed and drag me to school the next day. To be fair school was better than home anyway. As soon as Jean saw me in the morning, his arms wrapped tightly around me and his face hid in my hair. I really didn’t want to cry anymore and his actions made it hard, but I hugged him back just as tight.

 

He barely let go of me for the rest of the day, and I slowly started to feel a little bit better from all the soft caresses and small kisses. Mikasa had been sending me concerned looks all day. When school ended for the day she asked Jean for permission to speak with me in private for 5 minutes. He tried to complain but to my horror Mikasa had already pulled me into the girl’s bathroom.

 

I started to protest and wanted to leave, but she put her arm up in front of the door.

 

“Armin, you can’t let them push you like this.”

I hung my head and my shoulders dropped.

 

“Mikasa… I already tried everything I could think of.”

Her arm dropped, but then quickly came to hug me.

 

“I know, sorry.”

She mumbled against my hair and I knew this was just her way showing concern. I hugged her back. We stayed like that for a couple minutes before she pulled back and straightened out her clothes.

 

“Will you come to our place today?”

She asked and I chewed my lip.

 

“I need to ask Jean first, can he come too?”

I pleaded and she looked like she wanted to say no but agreed. She patted my shoulder gently then held the door open for me.

 

Getting Jean and Eren together in the same room might not have been a good idea. They were fuming and trying to come up with a game plan to try and talk to my parents. I begged them to just stay out of it and looked down at my hands in my lap.

Carla walked into the livingroom when she got home. All of us were bundled up in a pile on the couch watching a movie and she gave me a sad smile. Eren’s mom had always been there for me throughout the years when Eren or Mikasa had dragged me to their home crying. I squirmed out of the pile and crashed into her hug.

 

“Do you want me to try and talk to them? You can always move in here Armin.”

She looked down at me but I shook my head. It wasn’t the first time she had offered me to move in, but there was no point.

 

“At least I got the summer.”

I gave her a sad smile and she stroked my hair, then she asked if we were hungry. Eren and Jean managed to get tangled in each other as they both tried to get up at the same time. Mikasa growled as they bumped into her. I laughed while watching them, sure we had only known Jean for about four years but everyone was still such good friends.

  
  


 

***

  
  
  


I startled awake as Jean’s car turned and I blinked looking around. After graduation all of us, Me, Jean, Eren, Mikasa, Krista, Sasha, and Connie decided to drive up to Krista’s parents lake house for a week. We had done this last year as well but it felt more special this time since I only had a couple more weeks with everyone before I was set to move.

 

“You alright?”

Jean glanced over to me as I stretched out yawning. I hadn’t realized I fell asleep and now I felt bad.

 

“Yeah sorry, I haven’t been sleeping that well lately.”

I hid another yawn behind my hand continuing to rub my eyes. My mother had been breathing down my neck constantly since school ended, and I was happy to be out of the house, if even for just a week. 

  
  


“You know you are welcome at my place anytime.”

He was focused on the road but I saw him smiling with a warm glint in his eyes. I laughed softly.

 

“Yeah I know, thank you.”

I had spent almost every weekend at Jean's place since being told about the move, but it was not enough. It always hurt having to go back home. I leaned over and ran my hand gently through the darker part of his hair. He smiled but moved his head away, not moving his gaze from the road. I bit my lip, slumped back in my seat and tried to get comfortable again. Hoping to get some more sleep.

 

Later after a rather successful barbecue, I was huddled up with the girls on the big outside couch on the deck. Jean, Eren, and Connie were down on the lawn throwing a football around. It was getting a little chilly so we had all gotten blankets and spent a good hour chatting.

 

“So are we going to need earplugs tonight with you and Jean?”

Sasha who had just finished devouring the last of her dinner asked while licking her fingers. A blush crept onto my face, the other two turned to look at me curiously. I shook my head quickly, pulled the blanket up and hid my nose in it.

 

“We’re not that loud you know…”

I mumbled and looked over towards Jean who had just tackled Eren on the floor and they we’re a mess of limbs.

 

“Weird. I would probably be loud if I was filled to the brim with…”

Sasha didn’t get to finish her sentence as Mikasa slapped the back of her head and gave her a scolding stare. Krista’s hands flew up to her mouth trying to hide a giggle and I rolled my eyes.

 

I sank down a little more in my seat and chewed my lip. I looked over at Eren and Jean who were now in a full blown brawl, and Connie was trying to pull them apart rather unsuccessfully. I sighed and inhaled deeply.

 

“I’m not the one being filled.”

I said quietly, breathing out shakily. Sasha sputtered, almost chocking on her drink and started coughing violently. Mikasa and Krista were staring at me mouths falling open. I blinked surprised.

 

“Like every time?”

Krista asked timidly. I don’t know who was blushing more at this point, her or me. Sasha had recovered and she had joined Mikasa in just staring at me silently. I nodded my head, trembling a little. I don’t understand why they all looked at me like that. Being with Jean was nice, he pampered me and took care of me. I didn’t mind making him feel good for once.

 

Before any of us could ask any more questions the other guys grabbed our attention. I looked up just as Jean stepped up on the deck and walked over placing a soft kiss on my cheek. I could hear Sasha snicker and I wanted to glare at her. This was perfectly fine. I wrapped my arms around Jean’s neck and he pulled me out of the seat grinning.

 

“Want some desert?”

He chuckled nuzzling my hair.  

  
  


The morning of the third day, I woke up feeling so drained. I tried to sit up a little but flopped right back down with a sigh and pulled the cover around me. Jean woke up a couple minutes later with a goofy sleepy smile on his face. I smiled weakly back at him and closed my eyes again.

 

“You alright Armin?”

I nodded and snuggled closer, wrapping my arms around him as he went to sit up. He patted my head gently then moved of the bed. Making me fall down where he had been laying, feeling rather ignored.

 

“Are you sure? You don’t look well, should I get you something to eat?”

He looked down at me with a small concerned frown. I really just wanted him to come back to bed and hold me but I nodded. I needed to eat too.

 

“Alright then, I will be right back ok”

He held my cheek and I leaned into the touch before he quickly pulled back.

“I love you Armin.” 

  
  


It was Mikasa, not Jean I saw coming through the door some time later. I blinked and rubbed my eyes trying to focus properly as she came over sitting down on the edge of the bed.

 

“We are all going to go swimming, do you want to come with?”

I shook my head but sat up anyway and got out of bed on shaky legs.

“Did something happen?”

 

I stopped a moment before pulling my faded light blue jeans on and slumped down on the bed. Nothing special at all had happened since we got here and I shook my head. Looking over I put a small smile on my face.

 

“I think it’s just one of those days you know.”

I laughed shortly and got back up again. Mikasa got up as well and headed for the bedroom door.

 

“I’ll meet you down on the deck? We can watch them all try and drown each other.”

She smiled warmly and a genuine giggle escaped me at the thought. 

  
  
  


The next day I was feeling a bit better, even though it was pouring down with rain outside. Propped up against Jean, we were all lazing around in the sofas watching some bad movie. Our attention perked when the doorbell all of sudden rang and Krista got up. Quickly followed by a serious faced Mikasa. The rest of us looked over in the general direction of the front door. Couple seconds later, a happy shriek followed by a lower, soft chuckle was heard. Walking out into the living area was Ymir with Krista wrapped around her like a koala bear. We all laughed and rolled our eyes.

 

What we didn’t count on though was the three other people following her. We all stared in disbelief as Annie, Reiner and Bertholt followed her. They were holding a couple crates of beer and bags which I assumed held stronger alcohol.

 

“I thought I would bring the party.”

Ymir explained with a big grin plastered on her face as the five of them continued towards the kitchen.

 

“Oh hell yeah!”

Eren exclaimed and high-fived Connie. Mikasa came back and sat down by my feet with a grunt,  _ Great.  _ I covered my mouth and giggled low at her clearly pissed of expression. Jean nuzzled into my neck and hummed, seemingly pleased about my better mood.

The night had ended up rather crazy. Even Krista who was normally pretty reserved was stumbling and giggling while trying to be a good host in her own house. There was lots of selfies taken and lots of dares made. I actually had a lot of fun. Somewhere along the line the guys had an arm-wrestling competition. Jean had lost every single match and was pouting, nuzzling into my neck or hair every chance he got.

 

It was way past noon when I dragged myself out of bed. I hadn’t had much to drink but the night had been mentally exhausting. Walking towards the kitchen I stopped scanning my eyes over the livingroom. Reiner, Bertholt and Annie were piled up on of the couches snoring loudly. I’m pretty sure at least one of them was drooling. I shook my head and I continued into the kitchen aiming for the fridge.

 

I yelped and jumped a foot in the air as I rounded the kitchen island, almost stepping on a passed out Sasha who was cradling a bowl of pretzels. I Rolled my eyes and hunched down trying to pry it out of  her hands. It only resulted in her curling around it closer and growling deep.

 

“Sasha you can’t sleep here.”

I laughed a little and gently nudged her shoulder shaking my head.

“How did you even manage?”

  
  


After watching her for a little longer my smile dropped. I would miss everyone so much, no more crazy sleepovers, no more trying to keep Sasha from eating all the snacks. _ No more Jean _ . I chewed my lip. I know two hours isn’t that far but everyone would be busy with school. Giving up trying to wake her up, I stood up and grabbed a bottle of water. Then I hurried quietly through the house and out onto the deck.

 

This is where Mikasa found me about an hour later, curled up with a blanket sipping on my water. She rubbed her eyes and joined me, taking the bottle as I offered it to her.

 

“Did you see who was on the couch?”

I nodded yawning and stretched out.

“You think Reiner has gotten his wish yet?”

 

I snorted remembering how he was still bragging about trying to get into Annie's pants. We both started to laugh softly. We just stayed like that for a while, talking with hushed voices, looking out over the lake.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


The rest of the summer passed pretty much the same but in a bit of a blur. I hung out alot with my friends and stayed every weekend with Jean at his place. Krista was over my house a lot helping me with packing, since my mother seemed to have developed some kind of hatred towards Eren and Mikasa. I suspected that Carla had tried to talk to her after all and this had caused her to not want me anywhere near them.

It was my last week before we would leave and I had everything packed up except some basic clothes and books. I would start my courses two weeks after the move. I was dreading unpacking everything in that short space of time. Somehow I had accumulated more stuff then I thought, and had gotten into trouble with my mother about the amount of boxes I had. My friends had offered to host a moving out party, but I didn’t want the reminder so I had respectfully declined and I think they understood.

  
  
  


Tonight was the last night I could spend with Jean. I ended up in tears with him holding me close and nuzzling into my hair. We had decided he would try to come and visit around my birthday but that was months away. I didn’t want to go bed and we were snuggled up watching movies all night. Eventually though Jean had fallen asleep and was snoring lightly. I felt a sting of pain. In around 33 hours and 17 minutes I would leave this town forever and Jean was happily snoring next to me on the couch.

  
  
  


***   
  
  


 

I shuffled anxiously next to the car as I waited for everything to be loaded in. Krista came up and hugged me tightly. Jean had wanted to come see me off, but I didn’t want to cause a scene so instead Krista was here. Eren and Mikasa had come by earlier but they were quickly chased of by my mother’s scowling expression. Couldn’t she just drop it for a couple hours.

 

“You will be ok Armin, you can call us any time ok? I will steal my father’s car if I have to come save you ok?”  

I smiled gratefully at her attempt to lighten the mood even though it earned her a harsh stare from my own father.

 

“I will be ok, somehow.”

I nuzzled softly into her hair letting out a long shaky breath. Krista carefully pushed me back and moved my fringe out of my eyes.

 

“No crying.”

She scolded softly and I lowered my gaze from hers. When my fringe fell in front of my face again, she gently lifted my chin up with her finger and pulled it back fastening it with her baby pink hairclip.

“I’m serious Armin, you are stronger than you think. You of all people can do this”

 

I nodded and hugged her closely again. My mother cleared her throat behind us and I took it as a sign it was time to leave. With heavy legs I made it into the car and looked back out the window at Krista who waved as we slowly took off. I curled up hugging my knees, as my whole world was quickly flying past the window. I only glanced outside as we drove past Jean's house. I saw him standing by his door discreetly waving as we disappeared around the last corner of our neighborhood. 

  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  


The new house was nice, I couldn’t deny that. It was a pretty classic looking two story colonial family home with a big double garage. When the car pulled up on the driveway I didn’t get out right away. Instead I looked around the area. It was pretty similar to where I had grown up, lots of green lawns, trees and half busy streets. Only thing different was the houses were bigger and slightly more well-kept.

 

_ Moving up in life _

I think it was called but I sighed as I got out. I walked over to my mother who was tapping her foot annoyed by the smaller entrance in the little nook between the garage and the main house. When I came over, she pushed it open for me to walk in. Stepping in I saw it opened up to a big utility area with three smaller doors.

 

“The door to the right leads to the house. This one here leads to your bathroom.”

I followed her as she pushed open the smaller door straight ahead. It revealed a decently sized bathroom complete with both a tub and a shower.

“Over here Armin.”

 

She called and I followed her through the last door that led into a room with a kitchen area to the right. It included an island with a breakfast bar, and a small dinner table in the corner under a set of stairs. Everything was in neutral whites and greys.

 

“This is your space Armin, you have your own living area and bedroom up the stairs. I expect you to keep this clean and well kept, you understand?”

I nodded, not wanting to argue the fact that I was better at cleaning than her in the first place.

  
  


“We will let you help out at the company whenever you don’t have classes. That way you can get money so you can get your own food and other things you might want.”

Nodding again, I kind of wondered why she was being so nice all of sudden and it scared me. I didn’t have time to think about it much before workers started to come through the door with my boxes.

 

I ventured up the stairs curiously and saw that a nice light grey 3-seat couch was already set up. Together with a big TV and a couple bookshelves along the furthest wall, framing another door. Pushing it open confirmed my guess that it was a bedroom. The ceiling up here was slanted but me being so short it didn’t really matter. I had a big window facing the street with a nice big window seat in front of it. Two smaller doors on each end of the big bed that were sat up in the middle hid a sort of cramped walk-in closet.

 

Stopping in the middle of the room, I hugged myself and trembled lightly. It was all very pretty and if it wasn’t for the fact that I was so far away from everything I had ever known, I would have been delighted. It kind of felt like my own little apartment. I went over to sit down and look out the window. I stayed there until it got dark. The workers had stopped coming in with boxes long ago. My mother’s voice had me getting up and walking over to peek over the banister in the livingroom. She wanted me to come have dinner and I hurried down to follow her into the bigger portion of the house.

  
  
  
  


***   
  
  
  


  
  


A couple days later I fell down on my couch after unpacking the last box of books and I looked over the room. It felt a lot better with all my stuff set up. I pulled my phone up to take even more pictures to post to my friends. After posting the first couple ones it was clear all my friends were jealous, and they all couldn’t wait to come visit. I took a couple special pictures to send to just Jean. Mainly me trying to look somewhat sexy, but failing horribly looking more stupid than anything.

 

“Armin!”

I shuddered as my mother’s angry voice traveled all the way from the utility room and into my bedroom. It took me a while to find her, because by the time I had made it downstairs she was already in her kitchen. Putting groceries in the fridge with angry jerky movements. The pile of what looked like school books on the table caught my interest and I moved over to touch the backs.

  
  


“You wouldn’t believe it Armin!”

She threw her hands up in the air in an annoyed gesture. I didn’t really care to listen to her rant, but I pretended to pay attention while flipping through the top most book.

 

“This… This... PUNK! kid working at the library almost refused to hand out your books, because apparently it was not my name they were signed out for. It took me a lot of arguing for him to get it through his thick uneducated skull that I was your mother.”

  
  


I sent her an uninterested look, resisting the urge to say they probably wouldn’t hire anyone “uneducated” to work at a highly esteemed college library. Ignoring the rest of her rant and words like, skinny jeans and disaster. I grabbed my books, excused myself and headed back to my room. Sitting down in the kitchen at the island. I looked through them closer, and most of them contained stuff that looked rather simple. I sighed, this was going to be a boring semester. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this week's chapter =^_^=
> 
>  
> 
> This will be the general length of my chapters, between 4-6k each.   
> Hope I see you next time <3


	4. Living it up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok soo i know I'm early  
> I'm sowwy i couldn't help myself lol
> 
> please enjoy <3

I was right, this was going to be a boring and long semester. The first math lesson consisted of me getting into an argument with the professor, after I stated that I already knew all the material and asked for extra credits. He didn’t believe me and gestured angrily about how I was being disrespectful. I’m pretty sure he bit his tongue at some point. After that I spent all of his classes quietly going through all the problems with no errors what so ever. That earned me angry glares from my classmates.

Another one of my professors had noticed the fact I wasn’t eighteen yet and proceeded to give me easier tasks than the rest of the class. It was insulting considering I probably could do both in the time given. Sometimes I did, just to have something to spend my time on. Time was something I had plenty of. I never was very social and trying to talk to people seemed daunting. Everyone seemed to ignore me and their faces blended into blurry messes. I didn't know anyone's name, and I doubt anyone knew mine.

I helped out at my parent’s office a couple hours every day and it earned me enough money to buy my own food. My days so far had consisted of going to school in the morning, heading out to work, and then coming home and cooking for myself. Some days cooking seemed to bothersome and I ended up just making a quick sandwich or the like. Really though, anything was better than my mother's cooking and her constant blabbering at the dinner table.

I still chatted with everyone at home and some days I even managed to get into a video call with them. Jean had been very busy with school and working as well, he usually didn’t get home until around nine at night. Even though he always made sure to text me at least a couple times a day.

Huddled up on the couch with my laptop, I waited anxiously for him to log on. The notification went off and I smiled warmly at the cute message that popped up. I hurried to open it.

Sorry I’m so late again Armin! I hope you’re doing alright! I’m gonna run and get changed real quick ok!  
I giggled typing back an, ok, then flicked through the TV channels while waiting for him to come back.  
Too quickly I heard the ping go off again and I looked surprised back at the screen, only to see a picture of a topless Jean grinning back at me from the screen. I almost spat my drink out over the keyboard and coughed trying to catch my breath.

_You trying to kill me?! <3_

_No, just to make you smile <3_

I rolled my eyes and a smile did creep onto my lips.

_Go put clothes on!_

He didn’t reply again and I assumed he had gone to do so. Fifteen minutes later he returned with another picture as evidence he had indeed changed his clothes. After that we chatted until ten, when he said he needed to go because he was getting up early. We said our goodbyes. I shut my laptop down and stared up at the ceiling. I didn’t feel tired at all.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Somehow it was already late-October and my birthday was only a week away. Which had led to the cleaning frenzy I was now in, trying to scrub every inch of my living space. Halloween was also coming around but I still didn’t really have any new friends so I would be staying home. Getting frustrated when I couldn’t reach the top corner of my kitchen. I threw my cloth in the sink, angrily stomping upstairs and slamming the bedroom door.

Jean was coming over on the 2’nd and I huffed scrolling through the feed, looking at the sneak peaks of everyone's outfits. Krista had sent me a picture of a cute frilly white dress she was going to wear to this big party that would be going down. I chewed my lip, I really wish I had a car so I could have come too. Maybe I should save up.

 

Halloween came and the evening went without any major incident, mother managed to only yell at one kid to the point of tears. She was however complaining about whatever teenage hooligan had stolen the bowl of candy she had put out on the porch, after she got tired of opening the door. Oblivious as she was, she didn’t realize the “hooligan” was me. I was cradling the bowl watching a movie when my phone went off. I jumped up almost spilling it everywhere.

“Look outside you little nerd.”

I blinked in surprise as Eren’s insult came through when I picked up. I hurried over to the window in my bedroom and dropped my phone seeing a familiar car outside. In my hurry I almost fell on the stairs before flinging my front door open. It revealed a grinning Eren with Jeans head stuck under his arm. Behind them a curious looking Mikasa was waiting with a subtle smile.

 

“Horseface here kept complaining and ruining my party mood so I made Mikasa drive us here!”  
Eren exclaimed proudly, obviously slightly drunk and Jean pushed at him growling. I quickly  
grabbed them both and pulled them inside before my mother saw either of them.

 

“You guys are insane!”  
I laughed but soon tears were pricking my eyes. I lunged at Jean and attached myself to him in a tight hug. He hugged me back, nuzzling softly into my hair then took my cheek and pulled me up for a kiss. Jean had been drinking as well but I couldn’t care less right now as I was focused on kissing him back.

 

“Woah! This is so cool!”  
Eren sounded like he was in my kitchen rummaging through my fridge. I saw Mikasa roll her eyes and walk in the general direction to make sure he didn’t break anything.

 

“I missed you Armin…”  
Jean leaned to me, gently pushing me up against the wall by my bathroom. I nodded still not able to find words as I tried hard not to cry. I snuggled against his chest just breathing in his scent. He pulled back slightly and took my hand.  
“Give us a tour?”

 

By the time the short tour of my small place was over, Eren had passed out on my couch. Mikasa was cradling a cup of coffee, sitting at my kitchen island with me and Jean. I apologized to her that I didn’t have a spare bed for her to sleep in. She shook her head saying it was alright, she would just make room on the couch somehow. They would have to leave in the morning anyway. I nodded chewing my lip, I wish she could stay longer.

 

“Armin you have lost weight.”  
She stated when Jean disappeared to the bathroom. I averted my eyes down on the counter and sighed.

“I’ve just been swamped with homework lately.”  
A complete lie, I had way too much spare time. My hands trembled and I stood up, grabbing an apple from next to the fridge. Not sure if it was to make myself feel less guilty or not.

“Just be safe, please Armin.”  
She looked pained. I gave her a short smile to try and convince her I was ok. I had no reason not to be. I had a beautiful house, top grades, a job, no rent. I was living it up. Once Jean came back we all decided it was time to try and get some sleep.

 

 

The movie Jean and I had been watching was almost over. I squirmed a little in his arms. Eren and Mikasa had left after breakfast and I had gone all day on edge. I placed gentle kisses against Jean's neck trying to get his attention. He grunted, still focused on the TV but his hand moved to draw small circles just above my hipbone. I turned facing him, effectively straddling him.

“Jean…”  
I mouthed against his collarbone and brushed my hands through his hair. He hummed and nuzzled into my hair absently. A deep blush crept onto my face as I shifted awkwardly.

“Do you… I mean, can I… can I have you, this time…?”  
I stuttered out and hid my face against his shoulder. This certainly caught his attention and his hand dropped from my hip moving up to my cheek. I pulled back nuzzling into his palm looking into his eyes with a big, blue-eyed pleading look.

“Armin… I missed the feeling of you so incredibly much.”  
I immediately bit down on my lip to try and stop the slight disappointment about to slip onto my face. I was being unfair, of course he had missed me. Noticing the change in my behavior, Jean moved his other hand to my lower back and hugged me close.  
“Next time ok? I love you so much. I would do anything for you, and you know that.”

With this he stood up. He chuckled as I squeaked and quickly wrapped my legs around him so not to fall on the floor. I laughed with him and went back to kissing his neck as he carried me all the way into the bedroom.

 

The next couple of days passed too quickly and before I knew it I was waving Jean off by the train station. I was going to go back and see him in just a couple weeks for Christmas, but it still hurt to see the train as it slowly rolled off. Jean had gotten me another book for my birthday and when I got back home I plopped down on the couch to read it.

My thoughts wandered as I was reading. I stretched out yawning, not able to focus on the words properly. Jean had just left a couple hours ago but I felt incredibly restless and on edge. A small wave of nausea hit me when a thought rolled into my head. _It was not enough_. I felt so guilty and wrapped my arms around my knees. He was so good to me, and yet here I was wanting more. I shifted uncomfortably and groaned in frustration.

Leaning my forehead on the tiles in the shower did little to cool my head but it helped somewhat. _Christmas…_. It was only a couple weeks. Surely I could survive till then. Giving up and getting out of the shower, my phone beeped. I picked it up. Smiling back up at me from the screen was Jean holding a thumbs up.

_Made it safely home, see you again soon <3_

I smiled warmly and typed him a quick reply before getting dressed and heading back up to finish the book.

 

 

***

 

The two hour car ride with my parents back to my grandfather’s place, where we would be spending Christmas was quiet and awkward. Today was the 23’rd and we would stay for about five days. I spent most of the ride chatting with my friends trying to decide a day for us all to meet up. It would probably end up as another big house party with a little too many drinks.

I perked up a little when we pulled up in front of his house and I saw a familiar blonde peeking out the window. I squealed and pretty much fell out of the car stumbling towards the front door that flung open. Krista’s arms were around me the next second and we almost tumbled to the ground. I could barely breathe as she hugged me and peppered kisses on my cheek.

 

“I missed you too!”  
I laughed when she finally pried herself off to step back and have a better look at me. Her brows furrowed a little and I bit my lip. I had been eating better but was still thinner than I was before and I readied myself for a scolding.

“Your hair is longer.”  
She noted but I could tell she was only holding back because my parents were now walking up behind us with proud grins on both their faces. Krista grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I stopped to give my grandfather a hug before she angrily tugged me into the guest toilet and shut the door.

“I eat!”  
I defended myself holding up my hands slightly. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot.  
“I love cooking, you know that. And now I don’t have to stand my mother’s food since I got my own kitchen.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly and she leaned forward to poke my nose.  
“I swear if you get sick I will come over there and babysit you, even if I have to marry you against your will.”

A smile appeared on her face, obviously she was joking about that last part and I laughed softly. We chatted for another couple minutes, before realizing we were still in the cramped locked room and hurried outside before my parents got too excited. After the small dinner Krista had to leave and I sighed a little, tempted to ask if I could come along but I knew better.

 

Christmas day was as awkward as ever with my family and I spent most of it trying to hide away in a corner sneaking peeks at my phone. It’s a strange feeling, the feeling of being alone even though the room is filled with relatives chatting away. Rubbing my eyes trying to focus was useless so I gave up after a while and just tried not to get in the way of anyone.

There was something different though and that was the present from Krista that she had left the other day. It was a pair of soft, baby pink slippers with a big bow on the front and white fur on the inside. To my mother’s horror I was now wearing them and she couldn’t even protest since she liked Krista so much. This had me smirking to myself as I was huddled up in an armchair with a new book.

 

Like I predicted we all ended up going to a party at Reiners. It wasn’t what I would have preferred but I wasn’t going to say no to this only chance to hang out with my friends. Walking in with Eren and Mikasa I immediately went to find Jean.

I found him playing pool with Sasha and Connie in the overcrowded living room. By the looks of it he was losing quite badly to the duo. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and nuzzled into his back. He turned with a surprised look that quickly melted into a soft smile and he pulled me into a hug.

“Hey there.”  
He kissed the top of my head and I heard Sasha snicker in the background.  
“I just gotta finish this game quick alright? Want to get us some drinks?”

 

I nodded and quietly made my way over to the kitchen weaving my way through the crowd. It always amazed me how many people they could fit into this house. Surely it couldn’t be safe. My thought process got interrupted when, after some looking around I couldn’t find any unopened soda cans. Wrinkling my nose I looked over to a bunch of filled cups on the table and I smelled one of them. Some were beer and the rest were clearly something stronger mixed with my precious cola.

After opting on raiding the fridge I walked back to Jean with a water bottle I had found and a cup of beer for him. The game had finished and I found him on one of the sofas. He pulled me onto his lap as I came over.

“Are you not drinking?”  
He asked with a curious look and somehow drained his cup in one swoop and I shook my head.

“Maybe later.”  
I smiled and leaned into him, probably wouldn’t, all the drinks had smelled really horrible.

 

Somehow I had ended up on my fourth red cup of whatever foul concoction they contained and I was having slight troubles with forming full sentences. But I was having fun, I was dancing and laughing. Krista and I had put on quite the dance show. It left both Jean and Ymir drooling, everyone else seemed to have found that quite hilarious.

 

Jean had pulled me back down on the couch. I was busy placing open mouthed kisses against his neck when someone grabbed my arm. I groaned frustrated and looked back at a rather pissed of Mikasa.  
“Armin, enough.”  
She tried to pull me off but I slapped her hand away and frowned.

“MikasA… I’m ferfectly fine!”  
I growled at her and glued myself back towards Jean, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“Jean if you have any sense you take him home right now, before I punch you in the face.”  
Mikasa growled before stomping off angrily. I giggled at her behavior and shook my head, Jean joined me chuckling. I clung close to him as he stood up from the sofa and we headed out the door.

 

Walking home in the dark was a challenge in normal conditions, and us laughing and hushing each other every two minutes didn’t make it easier. I barely registered that rather than walking into my grandfather’s house I was in Jean’s. Maneuvering the stairs was the last challenge before finally I felt something under me. Pushed down on the familiar couch I looked up at Jean with big puppy eyes.

My clothes started to disappear along with his and soft moans filled the small living room. As he unbuttoned my jeans, I pushed up towards his hand pleadingly and whined. He got up pulling them off me painfully slow before sitting back down and pulling me up on his lap. I ground down on him desperately and kissed him hungrily.

He gripped my hands pulling them off his chest and I shook my head.  
“Please Jean... I want you…”  
I tried pleadingly again and tried moving his hands back onto me. He groaned low and squeezed my hips slightly causing me to gasp”  
“More…”  
I begged and my teeth grazed along his neck. Jean ground up against me and bit down effectively muffling my moan.

“What the hell Armin!”  
Jean had pulled back and glared at me, rubbing the area of his neck where a red mark was forming. I blinked in shock at the sudden change of mood.  
“What was that for!? If you don’t want to have sex just fucking say so.”

With that he shoved me rather harshly off him, the small of my back hit the armrest on the opposite side. I yelped in pain and quickly pulled up my legs, feeling very exposed even though I still had my underwear on. Jean gave me a final stare before getting up and slamming his bedroom door behind him. The room was pitch black now and I felt as big tears started to roll down my cheek.

 

I had awkwardly pulled my clothes back on and eventually fallen asleep on the couch. If I had gone back home at three in the morning my mother would have been furious. Rubbing my eyes I opened them slowly to see what had woken me up. I spotted Jean sitting next to me on the edge, and at first I flinched a little but then I saw his expression. He looked so sad and so terrified at the same time.

“Armin…”  
He started when he realized I was awake and reached out to put a hand on my side, on top of the blanket.  
“I'm sorry, that was my fault, we were both so drunk.”

He was quiet for a minute, his gaze wandering around the room before coming back to me.

“Do you hate me now?”  
His bottom lip was trembling and it almost looked like he was ready to cry. I shook my head, he was right I had been way too drunk. I sat up slowly taking his cheek in my hand and kissed him softly.

“I’m alright, promise.”  
I leaned my forehead on his and smiled softly.

“I love you Armin.”  
“Love you too Jean.”

We sat hugging for a while before he grinned and nipped at my neck a little.  
“Want a redo?”

I nodded and he pulled me over to the bedroom.

 

 

***

 

 

I had spent the day with Jean and the next day we went back to my town. Mother wanted me to go to the company’s New-Years party but I manage to dodge it. Mainly complaining that Krista wouldn’t be there this year and I would feel lonely. Somehow that worked.

So now I was sitting alone curled up on my couch watching some countdown show on the TV while chatting to my friends. The new semester would kick off soon and I hoped this one wouldn’t be so boring. Spending months learning close to nothing was new to me. It was frustrating to say the least. I had spent a lot of time in the smaller library on my side of campus. To the point where I’m on first name basis with the old librarian, and she brings me cookies.

 

I fell asleep just before the countdown reached zero. Next day I woke up startled as the door to my kitchen flung open with a loud bang. Scrambling off the couch and over to the banister rubbing my eyes, yawning. Not too surprised to find my mother glaring up at my bed hair.

“Get down here.”  
She grumbled walking over to casually make herself some coffee. Didn’t she have her own kitchen? I hurried down the stairs smoothing out my oversized t-shirt to cover my sleeping shorts. I counted it a victory as I saw her eyes narrow when she spotted I was indeed still wearing the pink slippers.

“What gives me the honor this early in the morning?”  
I mumbled while ducking into my fridge to retrieve things for a sandwich.

“Don’t give me that attitude.”  
She barked and sat down at my breakfast bar. I had my back to her while preparing my food.  
“I’ll let you borrow my car tomorrow so you can go to the campus library and pick up your next materials.”

Oh. She’ll, _let me_ , I sighed a little. I had looked into saving for my own car but really there was no way she would let me park it on the driveway anyway.  
“No need I will take the bus, I have enough change.”

There was for some reason two libraries on campus, the small one with the cookie lady, and the bigger main one. The main one was located near the older buildings I rarely got the chance to explore. I chewed my lip at the idea of having to get on the crowded campus bus to get around but it was better than getting lost. Plus its last stop in town was rather close to my house so I could walk from there.

“If you insist.”  
She finished her cup getting up, leaving it on the counter. I waited for her to leave before grabbing it and putting it down rather harshly in the sink.

 

I waited another two days before gathering up enough courage to grab my bag and head for the bus stop. It took a good thirty minutes of walking but it was a nice day outside. Bit cold but I had bundled up so I was fine. When I saw the bus I shuddered but felt relieved when I saw only a couple of students on it. I got on fishing out my student id and enough change.

 

The trip would only take fifteen minutes so I took a seat and stared out the window. My attention perked when we pulled to a stop and I felt my stomach drop the next second. There was about twenty people slowly piling on. Grabbing my bag and holding it close, I tried not to freak when a massive guy sat down next to me.

It was suffocating. My breathing was labored and when I spotted the library sign through the window I scrambled to get up. Only to almost fall on top of the guy.

“I’m sorry!”  
I squeaked out. He gently grabbed me by the arm to help me gain my balance.  
“This is my stop.”

“Oh my bad, sorry my legs are too long!”  
He stood up in the aisle to let me pass. He really was so tall. I had to lean my head back to look at his face. Which quite comically was mostly eyebrows. Somehow that made me feel a little better and I nodded moving past him.

Once I was off the bus, I leaned my back on the library wall trying to collect myself. When my breathing had calmed down, I stepped through the door to be met with a small reception area. To the left was a small room to hang up coats and a couple toilets. I peeled off my coat, scarf, and hat and hung them up before stepping in to have a quick look in the mirror.

After trying to flatten my hair down again, to no avail, I walked back out. There was no one behind the reception desk but I assumed that was because of the holidays. I pushed through the big wooden main doors and sucked in a breath. Before me was a massive, rectangular, two-story room. The middle area was completely open with a massive skylight over the groups of tables and couches under it. A balcony wrapped all around and books… books, everywhere.

“Hello?”  
I timidly called out, still no sign of anyone but it had been open so surely someone was around. There was a small thud and what sounded like someone moving furniture around on the second floor. After locating the stairs I made my way up slowly, still mesmerized by the sheer amount of books.

“Anyone here?”  
I tried again and bit my lip, this was stupid maybe I should've made an appointment. Another thud and sounds of shuffling guided me a couple rows over. I turned the corner walking in among the shelfs.

Finally I spotted whoever was making all the noises. They were stood on a step ladder dusting the top of the tall shelves. He was wearing the standard brown wooly sweater with the college emblem, I’d seen on so many other teachers. The two crossed wings on his back moving as he worked. What caught my attention though was the fact it was paired with a pair of black skinny jeans and black sneakers.

“E-excuse me sir?”  
Of course I had to stutter and I shuffled quickly to straighten up and look at the man’s face. I almost instantly regretted it when he turned slowly to face me. A white cloth covered his mouth and nose, and he scowled angrily at me with pitch black eyes through a black parted fringe. My next words got stuck in my throat and I froze up on the spot. He looked out to kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I'm being rude leaving with a cliffhanger  
> I'm sorry! 
> 
> Things are really starting to change now, hope you guys stick around for next week <3


	5. Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter:
> 
> “E-excuse me sir?”  
> Of course I had to stutter and I shuffled quickly to straighten up and look at the man’s face. I almost instantly regretted it when he turned slowly to face me. A white cloth covered his mouth and nose, and he scowled angrily at me with pitch black eyes through a black parted fringe. My next words got stuck in my throat and I froze up on the spot. He looked out to kill...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I'm posting a little early again this week I'm sorry <3
> 
> I've came down with a fever and my internet is also running out o.o  
> please send help!  
> I ran out of Tea...
> 
> I actually didn't notice how out of character Levi is in this, I'm sorry!  
> He's just a little less grumpy! I hope this doesn't put anyone of to much :)  
> I'll tag ooc if it seems necessary <3
> 
> Please enjoy your read <3

 

 

 

“What.”

He said shortly while pulling the scarf of his face. I squirmed under his stare and tried to remember how to form words.

 

“Erm… Sir I…”

He somehow managed to make himself look even more threatening as he climbed down the short ladder, dusting his hands off and walking towards me. Crossing his arms he stared down at me, well not down. He was pretty much the same height as me which added to my confusion..

“Tch. Don’t Sir me.”

He clicked his tongue and shifted his weight.

“Are you by any chance Armin Arlert?”

 

I blinked surprised not really knowing what to comment on first. After clearing my throat again I fiddled with the hem of my sweater.

“Yeah that would be me… Erm so if not Sir… then?”

 

There was no words to describe how dumb I felt right now. This is usually not the kind of first impression I liked to give people.

 

“I’m not a teacher. Levi. Just Levi is fine.”

He stated walking past me, motioning for me to follow. I hurried after him trying to not make things worse. We headed down the stairs and turned towards another smaller door in the back. Once inside I looked around the room, there were more shelves but also a bunch of what looked like more permanent desks. Levi walked over to one and bent down by the shelf behind it.

 

“These are pretty advanced books. Are you doing pre-classes?”

He said while pulling books out and then stacking them on the desk in front of me.

 

“This is my second semester. I started the economy major last September.”

I said while reading the titles, running my finger along the backs. With a little sigh I realized I recognized some of them.  _ Great _ . Levi straightened out, carrying one last book over.

 

“Sorry for that. I just assumed.”

He said with an uninterested looking shrug. I pulled my hand back when his stare locked back on me. I think I found the ‘punk’ my mum complained about. Not wanting to stay and annoy him any more I hurried to put my bag on the desk. With panicked eyes I glanced at the pile then back at my bag.

 

“Do you want another bag?”

I looked back up at Levi who was stood with his arms crossed again waiting for me to finish. Steel eyes locked onto me and I tried to avoid looking into them. Which in turn made me drop a book and I scrambled quickly to pick it up from the floor.

 

“N-no it’s alright!”

A small blush crept onto my face from pure embarrassment. With one last push I managed to finally zip the bag up and throw it over my shoulder.  _ God that’s heavy.  _ I took a deep breath trying not to stagger.

 

“Are you sure you will be alright?”

Levi asked in the same monotone voice he had been using the entire time. He didn’t sound necessary concerned and I guessed he only asked to try and be polite. I gave him a nod, his eyes scanned over me one last time before turning and heading back out the door waiting for me to follow.

Once back on the bus, I let out a breath that it felt I’ve been holding since he first stared me down. I trembled and clutched my bag. That was absolutely terrifying. Shutting my eyes tightly helped me to regain my composure and soon I was off the bus. Walking down the streets to head back home.

  
  


 

 

***

 

 

 

 

The new semester started just as bad as the first one. I had the same math teacher and we both seemed just as pleased to see each other again. This time I didn’t bother arguing about the material. I had skipped breakfast today because I wanted to get out of the house before my mother. After my second lecture it was nearing lunch and I was starving.

 

Walking around campus, I remembered this café I had spotted on the outskirts and I hurried over. It was raining lightly and I thanked the heat I was hit with as I stepped through the doors. My stomach twisted at the smell of pastries and sandwiches but I walked timidly up to the counter.

 

Not being used to order from such a big menu, I had stuttered and ended up with a medium sized takeaway cup with something that smelled like coffee and vanilla. I wasn’t too fussed anyway as long as it had caffeine and was hot. I sat down at a table by the window and looked out at the weather that hadn’t gotten any better.

 

I was absently picking at my large lemon muffin when I heard quiet shuffling next to me and I glanced over slowly, expecting it to be one of the workers.

 

“Hey smarty-pants, you are in my seat.”

 

I blinked dumbfounded looking up at Levi who was looking down at me with an impassive expression. In this lighting I noticed that his eyes weren’t black but rather a metallic silver with hints of blue. Before I could excuse myself and scramble out of ‘his’ seat, he had already sat down in the other chair opposite to me. I also noticed that this time he was wearing a more casual black hoodie over a white shirt but still with the skinny jeans.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

I managed to get out and went back to staring at my muffin rather than the intimidating man.

 

“What is that?”

Looking up at his question I saw that he was staring at my cup like it had offended him.

 

“Erm… coffee?”

I cradled my cup a bit closer, wrapping my hands around it. He snorted and leant back in the chair sipping on what I think was tea. After that he stayed silent staring out the window and I went back to trying to finish my drink and muffin.

 

“If this is your second semester how old are you?”

Again he had caught me off guard. I looked up at him, over the rim of my half raised cup.

 

“I just turned eighteen.”

I mumbled and distracting myself taking a big gulp of the coffee, then looked back at him. He actually didn’t look that much older than me now that I thought about it. 

“A-and you? How old are you?”

  
  


“Twenty-three.”

The answer was short but surprising and had me looking wide eyed at him, like an idiot. He lowered his cup and put it back on the table a small scowl appearing on his face.

“What.”

 

“S-sorry I just assumed since you were wearing the staff sweater and working… but then now… and I…”

I averted my eyes back down at the table and slammed my mouth shut. God I could be such an idiot. A small snort and chuckle from him made me look back up, his scowl was gone.

 

“Yeah I work extra at the library and they make me wear that ugly thing.”

He returned to drinking his tea and looking out the window.

 

That did make a lot of sense now that I thought about it. However I shifted anxiously in my seat looking down at my own outfit. I was wearing a navy blue version of the sweater he had just called ugly and I felt very self-conscious. We weren't obligated to wear uniform but I liked the sweaters. It made feel like I belonged.   

 

He didn’t look back at me for the rest of the time until he put his now empty cup down and stood up.

“See you around smarty-pants.”

He shrugged and walked out the door, leaving me sitting at the table wondering what on earth just happened.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


A week passed with my normal routines, school, work, talk to Jean for an hour online, then studying and passing out around two am. I was currently hurrying down the street trying to outrun the rain that was absolutely pouring down. Ducking into the same café as last week and letting out a relieved sigh. While digging out money to pay with, I felt like someone was staring at me and I looked around cautiously. Levi was by the window in his seat and raised an eyebrow when he realized he had my attention. I grabbed my order and made my way slowly over.

 

“Do you always wear the school sweater?”

 

My eyes narrowed a little as I put my cup and muffin down before sitting. There was no venom in his voice like when my mother was insulting my outfits. Was it a honest question or a jab?

 

“Do you always wear skinny jeans?”

I tilted my head and looked down at his legs that were crossed under the table.

 

“Touché.”

He gave me an amused smirk and I returned it with a warm smile. I lifted my cup and took a sip but ended up scrunching my nose, it somehow didn’t taste the same. I glanced back up as Levi shuffled and got out of his seat. I stared in confusion as he walked over to the counter and talked to the barista.

 

“Here.”

He put down another cup in front of me and I blinked looking down at it then back up at him.

“It’s tea, it won’t bite you. It will taste better than whatever is in there.”

 

Feeling like I couldn’t just outright refuse, I slowly lifted it and blew a little on it before taking a sip.  _ Dam.  _ My eyes widened it was so good. It tasted like berries and was sweeter than I had thought. Taking another bigger sip earned me a low chuckle from across the table.

 

“You were right.”

 

“Of course I was.”

 

We ended up doing some small talk and it turns out Levi was also a student. He had been doing some economics before switching into biology. Seemed like a weird mix, but I didn’t want to offend him by asking too many stupid questions. His emotionless expression still creeped me out a little bit. Though as he was chuckling you could see his eyes soften slightly and it was intriguing.

 

This time he actually said goodbye properly before walking out and disappearing down the street.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Two days later I walked into the main library carrying a heavy bag of schoolbooks. There was a massive assignment coming up and I had decided to cram somewhere nicer than around my house. I asked for permission at the front desk only to receive a warm smile and be told it's fine since I was a student. I set up camp at one of the tables under the skylight, in the corner, where as little sun as possible could reach me and pulled out my books.

  
  


Nose deep in my notes with papers and books scattered all over the table. A sudden thud made me jump, slapping a hand over my mouth and I looked around startled.

 

“You are on my turf again, what are you a stalker?”

Levi was sitting opposite to me with a big grin on his face. Clearly happy about making me jump.

 

“So not funny.”

I muttered and glared at him over the edge of my book.

 

“So you wear glasses now too?”

He looked amused for some reason. I had almost forgotten I had put my reading glasses on for my big study session, pushing them nervously up the bridge of my nose.

 

“Only when I study for six hours straight, I rather not get a headache.”

I mumbled before my attention was pulled back to my notes as I spotted a spelling mistake. I didn’t notice Levi leaving until he came back, holding a cup of tea in my vision and I grabbed it greedily.

  
  


“How long have you been cramming today?”

He asked while sitting back with his own cup. I put my pencil down and looked at the clock on my phone.

 

“Erm, maybe four hours?”

It was coming up for lunch and I had gotten here first thing in the morning. Levi let out a breathy sigh and put his cup down by the rim. I hadn’t noticed the weird way of holding it until now and I made a mental note to ask about it later.

 

“Stay.”

He got up, disappearing again. I was left staring in the general direction before shaking my head and returning to my notes. This time I noticed when he came back as he carefully moved a stack of books and put down a plastic container. He peeled the lid off and revealed a pasta-salad with what looked like chicken and goat cheese.

 

“Eat.”

He said and snatched my notebook and pencil, swapping them for a fork. I was staring at him in disbelief.

 

“But...”

I started but he sent me an angry scowl over the top of my notebook, that he was now looking through. I carefully started on the chicken, quickly realizing it actually tasted really good and it helped to clear my head a little.

 

I ended up devouring the entire container and leaned back with a pleased huff as I put the fork down, closing my eyes.

 

“That better?”

I nodded as an answer to him and put my glasses down, rubbing my eyes.

“This is well written.”

 

I looked up. He was holding out my notebook for me and I took it back glancing over it. Noting the little notes of possible word changes in the marginal I smiled.

 

“Thank you, really.”

I looked back up giving him a warm smile. For the first time since I moved someone had treated me like a friend. Then my face morphed with horror and my mouth dropped open.

“Wait, I totally ate your lunch just now didn’t I?!”

  
  


He was nose deep in one of my other notebooks and just waved me off, then picked his tea cup back up. It took me a couple minutes to settle back down but I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling really guilty. Levi had excused himself about an hour after I had finished eating. I had stayed until six when I was informed the library was closing and I hurried to pack up my books.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  


It was a couple days till Valentine's. I was sitting in the café with a cup of tea and my laptop, picking at a cheesy grilled sandwich. I looked up as a now familiar person sat down across from me and sent Levi a smile, before returning to typing furiously on my essay. For the last couple weeks we had met up once or twice a week. Always the same café and same table. At this point I considered him a friend and it felt nice.

 

“If you don’t finish that gross, greasy thing before touching your keyboard again, I will take your laptop.”

He stated while bringing his cup to his lips by the rim like he normally did. I raised my eyebrow challenging and went to reach for it. He swatted my hand away and grabbed it sticking it in his own mouth.

 

“I thought you said it was gross and greasy?”

I snickered, but he just shrugged and finished it in a couple of bites. My attention was turned back to my laptop when a notification noise went off. A warm smile crept onto my face and I relaxed in my seat when I saw it was from Jean. It was about him coming down for Valentine’s and I happily typed back.

 

“What are you doing? Watching cat videos?”

Levi leaned forward and tried to peek over the edge of my screen. I snorted and shook my head.

  
  


“No I was chatting to my boyfriend thank you very much.”

The words kind of slipped out before thinking and I went stiff in my seat. Eyes flickering between Levi, my laptop and the door.

 

“Ah I see.”

Levi shrugged and took a sip from his tea and fished his phone out scrolling on it like nothing had happened. I blinked and slowly leaned forward still on edge ready for whatever turn this could take.

 

“D-does it not bother you?”

 

“Should it?”

He looked at me raising an eyebrow. I sucked in a breath and stood up almost knocking my chair over. He lowered his cup with furrowed brows.

“Are you ok Armin?”

  
  


I didn’t answer and instead bolted to the small toilet in the back, slamming the door behind me. Sinking down on the closed lid, I grabbed the sides of my head to stop it from spinning.

 

_ Did it really not matter?… or can I just not read his expression?… what if he leaves… _

 

After a couple minutes I had gathered myself enough to stand up and splash my face with some water. I groaned and rubbed my eyes as my own reflection was slightly blurred. Another couple minutes, I unlocked the door and pushed it open slowly. I took a deep breath as I saw Levi was still seated by the window looking as bored as ever. Hesitantly I walked over and sat down in my chair again typing an answer to Jean.

 

“Armin.”

I was weary of his serious tone but looked up at him anyway, my eyes still having trouble focusing.

“You look like I’m going to hit you.”

  
  


I winced in my seat and lowered my gaze, looking at my hands, shaking my head.

“Not hit me, just maybe… yell at me call me a disgrace or something like that.”

 

“Your parents suck.”

Was the only thing he said and then we stayed quiet until he excused himself saying that he really needed to get to work. But not before demanding my phone which I gave to him with a puzzled expression. When he held it out again I saw the new contact with his name and number on the screen. I took it, and nodded when he said it was fine to text or call whenever.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  


I opened the door and beamed brightly at Jean who was leaning to the wall, a bag slung over his shoulders. I pulled him quickly inside and wrapped around him in a tight hug. He chuckled and pried me off when I started placing kisses all along his neck.

 

“We should get properly inside Armin, plus I’m starving”

 

“Ok ok!”

 

I giggled and pretty much bounced into the kitchen and looked around in the fridge. Jean sat down at the island while I pulled out a big bowl of ham and cheese salad. I grabbed bowls and forks before I shuffled and sat next to him.

 

Jean eyed the salad skeptically before filling his bowl and eating it slowly. I leaned over and nuzzled his shoulder, so happy he was actually here.

 

“Armin I’m trying to eat…”

He looked down at me smiling but with a slight frown. I quickly pulled back and looked down into my bowl, suddenly not so hungry.

“Do you have any bread? Can I have a sandwich too?”

 

I nodded and got up, walking over to grab the butter and bread. Jean was rambling about football practice and how Eren had manage to get into an argument with this new guy in class. I put the finished sandwich down next to him and he pulled me in happily kissing my cheek.

  
  
  


After I had given up on lunch, Jean finished the rest of my meal as well. We ended up chatting more on the couch, watching bad movies. I tried with little success to cuddle up as close as possible only to have him go stiff or try and gently push me away. After a while I gave up and stood up stretching a little.

 

“You alright Armin?”

Jean grabbed my hand softly and ran a thumb over my knuckles.

 

“Yeah… just, bathroom”

I excused myself and hurried down the stairs and out of sight. Locking the door behind me I sank down on the floor and sighed. I had missed him so much, but maybe I was being just a little too clingy.

 

After a couple of minutes of collecting myself and agreeing that, yes I had been acting way too clingy, I got up and slowly walked back inside. When I sat back down though Jean smiled, pulled me in close and nuzzled my hair soft giving me a small kiss. I sighed and melted into him. We spent the next hour pressed close like that.

  
  
  


Jean suggested to have pizza for dinner again as a reminder of last year. I happily agreed squirming out of his lap to find my phone to make the order. It didn’t take to long for it to show up and we ate it on the couch. I was silently praying we wouldn’t spill tomato sauce on the light-grey fabric.

 

We watched another movie, nice and cuddled up. Until Jeans soft kisses turned hungrier towards the end. I giggled and turned, booping his nose with my finger.

“Not out here.”

I stated and laughed happily as he lifted me around the waist and moved towards the bedroom.

  
  


Not wanting a repeat of Christmas, I tried my best to take the lead as I knew he wanted me to. I kept glancing nervously at my bedroom door. Though the chances of my mother coming in here was close to zero. It was nice though, seeing him like this. Knowing I could do something right.

 

“Armin…”

Once we were done and cleaned up he pulled me close, nuzzling into my neck, and giving me small kisses. I ran my hands through his hair smiling softly. He was so cute like this.

“Love you… Armin.”

It sounded like he was already half asleep and I smiled pressing my back into him.

 

Just before I drifted off, a small buzz from my phone caught my attention and I snaked an arm out to grab it. A blush crept on my face as I saw the crude message staring back at me.

 

_ 01:14- Levi: Did you get some? _

_ 01:15- Armin: More than you :P _

_ 01:17- Levi: How do you know? _

_ 01:19- Armin: Because those skinny jeans are glued to your legs… _

_ 01:19- Levi: Oh ha ha, funny. _

 

Rolling my eyes I hurried to put my phone down as Jean stirred behind me, disturbed by the bright screen. He furrowed his brows a little and nuzzled back into my hair. I sighed happily and went back to trying to sleep.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Two days later I plopped down rather dramatically in my usual chair at the café. Levi looked up over the edge of his hand on his cup and raised an eyebrow.

 

“I’m all alone again.”

I faked a sigh and threw my hands in the air. It was true, I did feel pretty lonely now that Jean left again, but at least this time I had a friend to rant to.

 

“I get your prince charming went back home again?”

He smirked and put his cup down. I nodded and laid my head on the table covering it with my other arm. I peeked when I heard Levi shuffle out of his seat and watched as he walked over to the counter.

 

He came back couple minutes later with a cup and a massive ham sub and put it in front of me. My eyes widened at the sight of it, I groaned hiding again. Before I had a chance to protest, I saw it was split in two and he was already sitting down with his half.

 

“What.”

I had started to giggle as he was trying to balance the sandwich in the tissue he was holding it with. Jumping as a piece fell out and threatened to fall on his leg. He scowled putting it down and bent down to clean of the floor muttering angrily.

 

I shook my head and grabbed my half. I started to eat it staring absently out the window. It was getting warmer outside and the sun was out for once. The warmth was nice on my face and I closed my eyes basking in it for a while.

 

“So your date was ok then?”

Levi’s question snapped me out of my head and I looked back at him. His eyes were locked on me and for some reason they were filled with concern.

 

“Mm…”

I sighed quietly and rubbed my one hand with the other.

“Jean is really nice to me.”

 

“But…?”

Levi had tilted his head down to sip his tea, still keeping his gaze on me through his fringe. I groaned and hid my face in my hands.

 

“It’s really hard to explain. I love him so much, but just sometimes I feel like I’m too clingy. He tends to push me away and warn me but still… And sometimes I want more from him… but it’s unfair, he tries really hard to chat to me every day…”

I paused, realizing I was rambling and waiting for Levi to say something. When he didn’t, I sucked in another breath.

“I always do all the work… like you know…”

I blushed and stayed quiet this time not daring to look up at him.

  
  


“So you would rather be a bottom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> I would love to know what you people think of this so far, so feel free to drop a comment!  
> I don't bite <3
> 
> Also as some might of noticed I have actually set an ending for this story, it ended up a little shorter then i wanted to but I'm still very happy with it :3  
> Oh and did i say this was a happy story? cos things are getting complicated :P
> 
> Until next time <3


	6. All sorts of crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello welcome back :)
> 
> Heres another chapter for you guys, hope you enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> Lets introduce a new character shall we ;)  
> good or bad? :O

I might have been avoiding Levi these last two weeks, actually I was avoiding everyone I think. Mikasa and Eren had been asking me to come down for spring break. They were talking about going to the lake cabin again. It was horrible, I missed Krista so much and I kept messaging her saying how sorry I was that I didn’t know if I could come.

 

Just the thought of being in a big group of people, even though they were my friends, felt straining. I ended up declining the invitation but promised I would come up when they go in the summer like we normally do. I looked up when my phone buzzed again.

  
  


_ 14:56- Levi: Did you disappear from the face of earth? _

_ 14:58- Armin: Sorry studying. _

_ 15:03- Levi: café tomorrow at lunch? _

_ 15:16- Armin: yeah I’ll come. _

  
  
  
  
  


I walked in and smiled when I spotted Levi at our table drinking tea with two bowls of soup sitting in the middle. I plopped down in my seat and registered the glass on my side. Licking my lips I looked up at him.

 

“Is that cola?”

He nodded as an answer, busy scrolling on his phone.

“Is it for me?”

 

Levi looked up and raised an eyebrow pushing one of the bowls of soup in my direction.

“No it’s for your mother.”

 

I rolled my eyes and took the spoon and started eating before he could make any more stupid remarks. Glancing up I realized he was still on his phone; he normally didn’t pay it much attention. I lowered my eyes and continued eating in silence.

  
  


“Levi are you alright?”

I said after finishing and pushing my bowl away, taking a sip of my cola. He nodded absently not looking up and I frowned.  _ Did I say something?  _ Before I got to speak up again a loud bang on the window next to me made me jump in my seat. My heart was racing like crazy but that was nothing compared to the horror when I turned my head. I covered my mouth with my hands to stop myself from screaming as I was faced with someone pushing themselves right up the window. Massive curious brown eyes staring right at me, surrounded by a crazy brown fringe and a pony tail that was pointing in all different kind of directions.

 

“Armin wha..”

Levi started before glancing over to where I was staring and let out a low groan. The person outside started bouncing and pulled her face of the window running for the door.

“Oh Shit… please no.”

 

“Le-evi, what’s going on?”

 

“LEEEvvvii!!”

I looked up seeing the person from outside skipping over and wrapped their arms tightly around Levi. Next second they turned and slammed their hands down on the table leaning forward right up close to my face with a grin.

“Whooo’s this little muffin!?”

  
  


“Hange you are scaring the shit out of him.”

Levi sighed leaning forward to try and grab her, but failed since she was still bouncing.

 

“But I can’t see!! I lost my glasses again!”

They didn’t back away and I was blinking, feeling like a deer in headlights not having a single clue what on earth was happening.

  
  


Levi sighed and finally managed to grab them by the shirt collar, pulling her back roughly. His hands picking lightly on the mess of brown hair, trying to untangle it.

 

“Leeevii! You are hurting me you savage!”

She cried and tried to swat his hands away squirming.

 

“Your glasses are stuck in your hair, if you just stay still for one second I can get them out.”

Levi growled and making her calm down a little. After some more tangling he got the glasses loose and held them out. She put them on and turned back to me and cooed.

 

“Oh my gosh he’s so cute!”

 

“I-I…”

I still haven’t manage to grasp what was happening and I was staring at Levi with my mouth wide open. He sighed and watched as Hange was loudly dragging a chair over to sit with us.

 

“This is my friend Hange, we have some classes together. Don’t mind her she is crazy”

 

“I’m not crazy! I just have a lot of energy, there’s a difference!”

Hange shrilled and wrapped her arms around Levi’s neck just hanging there. To my surprise he didn’t shrug her of this time, just returned to drinking his tea. By the time he finished Hange seemed very curious about his hair and was patting it to watch it go up and down.

  
  


“I’m Armin.”

I finally manage to get out and felt stupid considering it had been almost 10 minutes since she joined us. She sent me a beaming smile and poked Levi’s cheek, he grumbled and swatted her hand away. A thought passed my mind as I realized that maybe Levi hadn’t been alone on Valentines after all. Looking at how relaxed he was with this crazy woman pestering him.

  
  


“Armin do you want to join me, Hange and some of our other friends for drinks once the break kicks off?”

Levi asked when Hange had gotten up to get a drink. I looked up a bit confused.

 

“Levi, I just turned eighteen they won’t let me in anywhere.”

I chewed my lip and played with my empty glass.

“Plus I’m not that big fan of alcohol in general.”

 

Levi nodded and looked up as Hange sat back down.

“No please, muffin you have to come! I’ll get you in!”

She grinned widely and I didn’t know to be scared or not. I went to shake my head but she looked at me with big puppy eyes and I sighed.

 

“Ok, but I’m not drinking.”

I agreed and Levi and I watched as Hange started bouncing in her seat almost spilling her coffee. She went on to ramble about the most random things from clothes to biology. I sent Levi a,  _ Help me!,  _ look but he just smirked and shrugged.

  
  
  


 

***

  
  
  
  


I was nervous walking up to the café a couple weeks later around 7pm. I was wearing more casual clothes rather than my normal school outfit, feeling a little exposed without my navy blue sweater I hugged my jacket closer. I had opted for a nice pair of light blue jeans, a standard white t-shirt and a light grey cardigan. I had also put my glasses on, hoping it would help make me look older. While lost in my own thoughts worrying if I looked alright or not, Hange had snuck up on me. She poked me in the sides making me jump and scream.

 

“Buttercup! Oh my gosh look at your cute tiny glasses!”

She squealed and hugged me tightly. Hange had met with me and Levi a couple more times and was already on hugging basis. I was still a little unsure about the sudden contact but it did feel nice.

 

“Hange let go or you will probably squeeze him to death.”

Levi walked up and put his hand on her shoulder trying to contain her. I smiled to him gratefully and straightened out my jacket. We had decided to meet up at the café and then head to this little bar they apparently went to quite often. I was still positive there was no way they would let me in but I tried to still smile as we walked.

  
  
  


When we arrived Hange skipped over and leaned onto the extremely tall blonde guy that seemed to be guarding the door. I think she was trying to whisper but I’m pretty sure everyone could hear her. The blonde guy eyed me when Levi and I got closer, and asked for my student pass. I sucked in a breath and held it up for him. He glanced at Hange and sighed.

  
  


“AH ah AH! Mike pleeaasee…! He’s with me! Look how cute he is, Buttercup won’t cause any issues I promise!”

Hange clapped her hands and tilted her head pleadingly. The blonde, apparently named Mike, scanned me one more time then looked at Levi.

 

“Levi, if I have to drag him out half drunk at 9pm I will ban you from ever coming in.”

Levi nodded not even twitching at the threat and grabbed Hange by the collar of her jacket pulling her inside. I hurried to follow.

  
  


It was just a small little place with maybe ten tables in the middle, a couple booths along both walls and a bar in the middle back. Soft music was playing and there wasn’t a single trace of cigarette smoke. Immediately I felt a lot calmer and followed as we headed for one of the booths towards the back on the left hand side.

 

Hange flopped down taking up two seats while somehow trying to wiggle out of her jacket at the same time. Levi just rolled his eyes and pushed her to the side to make room. I sat down on the edge and undid my jacket and timidly took it off hanging it on the back.

 

“Would you look at that, smarty-pants actually owns casual clothes.”

Levi raised an eyebrow and smirked, but his eyes were soft so I rolled my eyes in response. Not a minute after Hange settled down, she flew back up again and jumped over to the bar. Leaning over maybe just a tad bit too far.

  
  


“Do I look alright?”

I looked down at the table playing with the ends of my cardigan, peeking up through my fringe. Levi nodded in response then his attention wandered over to Hange. She was coming over trying to balance three bottles in her hands.

 

“Here we go! A beer for me, a beer for grumpy face and an apple cider for you buttercup!”

She looked proud as she flopped back down, barely avoiding the swat from Levi. I took the bottle and cautiously sniffed it.

 

“It’s sweet and it’s not very strong ok, look.”

Levi leaned over and turned the bottle over so I could see the contents. I shot him a warm smile before carefully taking a sip. It was actually very good and I leaned back in my seat feeling a bit more relaxed.

  
  


An hour later or so the music had picked up and so had our conversation. We were chatting along about a book we had all read when Hanges attention perked up and she suddenly flew out of her seat. It startled me and I was on edge again looking around the room.

 

“Erwin!!”

She called unnecessarily loud and waved at a guy who had just walked in. My eyes locked onto him and I drew in a quick breath. It was the eyebrow guy from the bus, I sunk down in my seat a little trying to disappear behind Levi. I tried not to groan in frustration as Erwin walked over and stopped by our table.

 

“Erwin! This is Armin! Isn’t he like the cutest thing you have ever seen!?”

She gestured towards me and I sighed, waving timidly. A big smile spread on the tall guys face.

 

“I believe I have met him before, though the glasses are new.”

He beamed and to my horror, went to sit on the seat next to me. Sure he seemed friendly enough, but just the sheer size of him had me shuddering and fidgeting nervously. Levi looked between us with a curious hint in his eyes.

 

“I blocked him in on the bus this January.”

Erwin chuckled and Hange joined laughing hysterically. Ducking down even lower in my seat I grabbed my bottle even though it was empty. I just needed something to focus on, rather than people laughing at my stupidity.

 

“Eyebrows, move I need another drink.”

Levi had gotten up and was scowling at Erwin who just rolled his eyes and moved out of the way. I barely noticed Levi was holding my hand, until a small tug made me stagger onto my feet. He cocked his head towards the bar and started walking. I stumbled after until I regained my balance fully and he dropped my hand. When we reached the bar I leant to it and closed my eyes.

  
  


“You alright?”

Levi asked shortly and I nodded at him with a sincere smile. His eyes looked laced with concern but he turned and ordered a new bottle of beer for everyone.

 

“Levi, can I have a Cola?”

I chewed my lip a little almost regretting asking but smiled as he called out the order and asked for a bit of lemon in it too.

  
  


When we came back to our seats Hange and Erwin had moved up looking at something on her phone. Levi sat down first leaving me the seat furthest out again. I cradled my glass happily watching the others as he joined them in discussing whatever was on Hanges screen.

  
  


Before I knew it the clock was already past midnight and I realized that walking home at this time would be awful. I groaned and laid my head on the table. Hange had maybe one too many beers and was giggling even more than usual. She kept trying to climb over to Levi only to be stopped by Erwin. At this moment she had given up trying to climb over him and instead resorted to poking his eyebrows.

  
  


“Levi you probably should take her home before she crashes.”

Erwin was holding Hange half an arm length away from himself and she kept flailing. I laughed softly, her glasses had tipped sideways and her hair was even crazier than normal. The way she was laughing and being loud kind of reminded me of Sasha. Levi got up next to me, grabbing his jacket.

 

“Yeah it’s probably for the better.”

He muttered and turned to me and I scrambled to quickly get out of my seat so he could get out. Chewing my lip I grabbed my jacket and put it on glancing at the door.

 

“Armin how are you getting home?”

Levi looked over from where he was trying to get a rather clingy Hange into her jacket.

 

“It’s only about a forty minute walk from here, I’ll be alright.”

I glanced back at Levi who was now scowling and shaking his head.

 

“I live in one of the campus apartments five minutes from here, I have a spare room.”

It hadn’t been a question but I nodded anyway and fished my phone out to keep myself distracted. There was no point in calling or texting my mother but I felt awkward just standing there.

 

“Nuu! Erwi-iin save me, Levi is trying to kidnap me!”

Hange jumped onto Erwin now and Levi growled and went to grab her. When she didn’t comply he just rolled his eyes and in one motion lifted her up, hoisting her over his shoulder.

 

“Come on Armin lets go.”

Levi was already halfway to the door when I managed to realize what had just happened and I hurried to follow him. Once out in the fresh air, Hange seemed to have reached her energy limit. Levi carefully set her down and she quietly walked by his side.

  
  
  
  
  


When I woke up the next morning, I quietly padded through the kitchen and made myself some tea. Once arriving last night Levi had given a quick tour of the small place. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom and a decently sized kitchen/living room. He told me to feel at home before disappearing with Hange into what I assumed was his bedroom.

 

Now I was sitting at the small table that was shoved up against a massive bookshelf, dividing the kitchen and the livingroom. It was quiet and it felt nice. Looking around the room I smiled softly. Everything seemed to go in tones of dark grey, black or chocolate brown, somehow that seemed very fitting of Levi. There were also books, everywhere, and I tilted my head reading titles on the shelf next to me.

 

A sudden shuffling noise startled me and I looked around. I spotted Hange who was walking into the kitchen yawning with a hand over her mouth. What made me squeak and quickly hide behind my hands was her outfit. Now casually bent over with her head in the fridge was Hange in only underwear and an oversized t-shirt.

  
  


“H-hange!”

I stuttered not dropping my hands. I guess this confirmed my theory about them dating.

 

“Oh hey coconut! I didn’t see you there!”

She said cheerfully and I dared to peek out. At least now most of her was behind the kitchen island and I huffed. A blush crept onto my face and I lowered my eyes to not seem like I was staring.

 

“Hange what on earth.”

Levi came into my vision, scowling and rubbing his face with a sigh.

“I’ve told you about wearing clothes. You will get food all over.”

  
  


Levi walked over and kept scolding her meanwhile I was sitting awkwardly in the corner. He looked like he was still in sleeping clothes too and it was rare to see him looking so relaxed. A groan escaped his lips as Hange managed to drop a slice of cheese on the floor and he shooed her to go get dressed.

 

“Sorry I know she can be a handful.”

Levi sighed as he sank down in the chair next to me with tea and a yogurt. I shook my head looking down in my cup and spun it around slowly.

 

“It took me forever to get her to wear a t-shirt last night so it wouldn’t be too awkward sharing a bed.”

He continued and groaned rubbing his face. I looked up at him blinking confused, earning myself a raised eyebrow.

 

“I-, are you two not… like dating?”

I spluttered looking back down, it wasn’t my place to ask. Jumping a little as the low grumble next to me turned into a heartfelt laugh. Looking up Levi was smiling ear to ear and I’ve never seen him look so happy.

 

“No god no! I don’t think I could stand being with her for that long. We just study and work together.”

He chuckled and took a sip of his tea still with a happy sparkle in his eyes. I felt like an idiot and I stared right at him for probably two minutes before a now dressed Hange came back out.

  
  


“Who’s dating who?”

She grinned looking between us and my face flushed bright red from embarrassment. Groaning I rested my arms on the table and hid my face against them.

 

“Smarty-pants here has a boyfriend, though he looks more like a pony to me.”

He smirked and Hange clapped her hands then started laughing hysterically. I couldn’t help but join the laughing, smiling as Levi had gotten Jean’s nickname right on. We continued breakfast, small talking and laughing and it felt nice. 

  
  
  
  


***

  
  


 

Spring break ended and with that came preparations for finals. Levi had stated that if I didn’t cram at his place at least once a week I would probably starve to death. So with that I was currently camped out on his livingroom floor with all my notes spread around me. Levi was sat on the couch with his laptop tapping away quietly. The tests wasn’t necessarily hard but I had taken on a huge workload but I didn’t regret it.

 

“Drink.”

The sudden nudge, then a wet cold press of a can against my nape made me jump and I glared back at him. He smirked and my expression softened, taking the cola can happily and returned to my notes.

 

“What’s for dinner?”

 

“Spaghetti.”

 

I nodded and kept working quietly on my notes, sipping my drink

  
  


I hadn’t noticed when he had started cooking but soon the smell made my attention slip and I got up stalking over to the kitchen. Pulling my glasses off and rubbing my eyes as I leaned on the counter. Levi’s cooking was excellent and he was also good at bouncing ideas for my essays. I eyed his shoulder as he worked stirring the sauce, I sighed and crossed my arms.

 

“What’s up your ass?”

He gave me a look over his shoulder and I frowned. Somehow that made me think about the fact that in a couple weeks I would go up to the cabin with my friends, including Jean. It’s not like I didn’t want to see him.

It was just getting a bit frustrating not getting what I wanted. I wonder if I could invite Levi. I was being unfair, Jean was trying really hard. I loved him. He had done nothing but take care of me.  _ I love him… _

I sighed again and rubbed the side of my face.

 

“Levi… what defines love?”

 

“Mm… it not something you can just define with a single variable.”

He said and started to plate up the food and holding a bowl up for me to take. Grabbing it I wandered over and curled up on the couch.

  
  


“Hey.”

A small nudge ripped me out of my own thoughts and I blinked confused, looking at a rather concerned Levi who was sitting next to me.

“Are you alright?”

 

I noticed my food had gone almost completely cold and I must have been out of it for a while. I hung my head and pushed the pasta around.

“Yeah it’s fine, just thinking about everything at once.”

  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  


Slamming my head down on my notes, I groaned loudly.

“I swear economics are so boring!”

Levi chuckled behind me working on something on his laptop again. It had been a couple days since I had been over. He hadn’t commented any more on the fact I was so quiet and I was grateful. He had continued feeding me sodas and food. I felt constantly full.

  
  


Sitting up I huffed tucking my hair behind my ear only to grunt when it fell back down. This repeated itself a couple times, me growing more agitated. I heard Levi get up but I didn’t pay it any attention. Until he came back and sat right behind me on the couch with his knees on each side of me.

 

“Stay still.”

I tried to look up but he pushed my head back forward. An involuntarily shudder went down my spine as I felt his cold slender fingers run through my hair. I sucked in a breath and stayed frozen as he worked gently, then two small tugs and he pulled back.

 

“There, it shouldn’t bother you now.”

Levi shuffled over back to his laptop. I blinked and got up, stumbling over to the bathroom. As I turned to look in the mirror a smile crept onto my face as I saw the two short pigtails that was effectively keeping the hair out of my face. My hair was barely long enough and they looked like little blonde puffs. Fishing out my phone, I quickly snapped a picture and posted it to my friends.

  
  


Plopping back on my spot in front of the sofa I looked up at Levi who seemed absorbed by his work. I needed to invite him over for dinner at some point as a thank you for everything. My phone started buzzing with notifications and I leant my head back reading.

 

_ Krista: OMG! Armin that is so cute! _

_ Krista: I’m so doing that when I see you! _

_ Eren: Manly bro :P _

_   -Mikasa: Eren shut up, he looks fine. _

_-Eren: I said he looked fine!_

_ Sasha: I could eat you! _

 

_ Jean: Where are you? _

 

I sighed and closed my phone up, not really feeling like explaining the whole situation right now. I nudged Levi’s leg,he moved to make room and I pulled myself up on the couch. We stayed quiet after that, only sound being him typing away on the laptop.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  


I was running around my place trying to pack everything I would need for the three weeks I was going to be gone. First week I would spend at Jean's place and the next two up at the cabin. Krista was picking me up in thirty minutes and I was so not ready. Nervously packing down some clothes Levi had helped me pick out. I wondered if they would be good enough.

  
  


A timid knock on the door had me squealing and I hurried over. Opening it I immediately got jumped by Krista and pulled into a tight hug. I pressed a kiss to her hair and chuckled softly.

 

“Oh my gosh, Armin I’ve missed you so much!”

 

“Yeah it’s been way too long”

 

Deciding we should have lunch before leaving she plopped herself down on a stool by my island. She looked around wide eyed and took everything in, smiling brightly. I joined her after getting some food and we chatted about anything that came to mind.

 

“This place is so nice, it’s very you. It feels calm and homey.”

 

“Thank you Krista.”

 

“You seem to be doing better too, I like your clothes.”

 

“Oh, Levi helped me pick them.”

 

She raised an eyebrow resting her chin in her hand, leaning towards me with sparkle in her eyes. I rolled my eyes back at her and quickly finished my food and grabbed the dishes to clean up.

  
  


We continued chatting for the two hour car drive, happy to finally get a chance to catch up on things. She invited me over for dinner and I happily accepted, it would be a little awkward around her parents but I had missed her so much. After dinner she offered to drop me off at Jean's place but I said I would walk, it was only down the road after all.

  
  


Knocking on his familiar door had me shuffling nervously and I chewed my lip. I heard it open and looked up. To my surprise it was his mother smiling brightly at me and pulling me into a bear hug. She chanted my name and praised my outfit and hair before telling me Jean was downstairs. I nodded and excused myself hurrying down with the large bag.

  
  


I smiled warmly as I spotted Jean by his desk on his computer. Walking over I wrapped my arms around him kissing his neck. Jean muttered and pushed at me, I quickly stepped back and bit down my lip.

 

“Hold on Armin, I’m working I just got to finish this off.”

 

I nodded quietly and trudged over to the couch and slumped down on it. Grabbing a blanket I pulled my legs up and hugged around them. Watching as Jean mumbled quietly to himself and tapped away, eyes locked on his monitor. After about ten minutes it hit me, he always said he was working.

 

_ Had he been working from down here the entire time? Surely he could have chatted to me more than just an hour each day? _

 

Looking down at my hands I shook my head. I was being unfair again, I couldn’t know what he was working on, it could be hard. Jean suddenly standing up and turning off his pc startled me out of my thoughts and he turned with a smile.

 

“Armin, hey.”

He walked over and sat down next to me, pulling me into a nice warm hug. I nuzzled into his shoulder grabbing onto his clothes. I had missed him so much, he was always so warm. I laughed and clung to him tighter as he lifted me and headed for his bedroom.

 

“Jean what are you doing!?”

I giggled kissing his neck as he pushed the door open. The playful look in his brown eyes made shudder as he shut the door behind us and gently dropped me on the bed. I sat up on the edge.

  
  
  


“What does it look like?”

He smirked and pulled his t-shirt off, making a show out of it. A blush crept onto my face and I bit my lip, watching as he continued undressing in front of me. I shifted anxiously scanning his body up and down, as he closed in on me and put his hands on my face. 

  
  
  
  


“J-jean… will you take me? J-just this once?”

I leaned into his touch and looked up at him with big pleading eyes. My entire body was trembling with want and I had to suppress a small whine.

  
  
  
  


That’s when the playful amber eyes twitched and became muddled with rage...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright you Jean lovers please don't come chasing me down with pitchforks!  
> please xD
> 
> Some stuff will go down in the next chapter and i will post more individual tags in the top notes for that one, so please read them.  
> I'm also not cruel so i have made it so i can push out the next chapter sooner <3
> 
>  
> 
> Also wooh! Hange! we all love hange!  
> Ah, I'm gonna point out that i chose female Hange, purely based on my inability to english correctly XD  
> So please don't hate me for that either lol <3
> 
> Armin with pigtails? Yes? I think more like, fucking hell thats adorable lol


	7. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright i know my notes are usually silly but this one is serious  
> I never intended for this to be a sweet and happy story, this chapter is what inspired the story to begin with.
> 
>  
> 
> This will be your warnings, please read them carefully.  
> This chapter will contain- 
> 
> Attempted non consensual sex  
> Degrading language  
> Accusing of cheating  
> Minor violence  
> -  
> Minor Panic attacks  
> Vomiting
> 
> Nothing is too graphic, but I rather put proper warnings then upset someone.  
> If i forgot something please let me know and I will add it soon as i can.  
> If you wish to skip the first bits I made a bigger divider line: ~~***~~
> 
> .

.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“J-jean?”

I stuttered looking into the dark eyes, clouded with anger, trying to pull back from his hand. He growled and pushed me harshly backwards, making me tumble down on the bed. It knocked the wind out of me, and before I could sit back he was on top of me.

 

“You want me to top?”

His eyes were absolutely furious as he stared down at me and I shook my head.

“No?!”

 

He hissed and grabbed my jaw, crashing his mouth into mine in a forceful kiss. I pushed at his chest trying to get him off, but he wouldn’t budge. When he pulled back I quickly chipped for air, my throat closing up as tears threatened to spill.

 

“Jean… sorry it's ok, I can top!”

I sniffled and tried to push at him again to make him flip over. He wouldn’t have it and grabbed both my wrists with one of his hands, pulling them far above my head. Leaning down he placed kisses down my neck and slightly exposed collarbone.

 

“No you wanted this right, it’s what you always beg for.”

He grinned up at me, moving his free hand up my side, pushing my shirt up exposing my stomach.

“I’ve seen all the posts from that apartment, I bet whoever lives there gives you his dick all the time. That’s why you never have time to chat to me anymore.”

 

At the mentioning of Levi the tears did start to roll down my face and I struggled to get my hands free. Jean closed his grip tighter on my wrist and I yelped in pain causing him to chuckle low.

 

“Is that why you always beg for it so much? He gave you a taste and now just him isn’t good enough? So you came here to try and get some from me as well?”

 

He pulled me up the bed more with a harsh tug to my wrists and his other hand pushing my thigh. I hiccupped and tried to form words but couldn’t do much more then whimper quietly and shake my head.

 

“Here I even took pity on you, dated you because at least you were nice to look at, even though you are fidgety and clingy.”

 

Jeans insults kept raining over me as his one free hand roamed over my sides, stomach and chest and his lips placed kisses between each hurtful sentence. It was hard to breathe with his crushing weight on me and my sinuses swelling up from the sniffling and crying.

 

“Who thought someone so conservative and well raised could be such a cock slut?”

 

Jean growled and finally letting up his grip on my wrists. The relieved feeling didn’t last for long as he grabbed me by my hips and turned me around. My face pressed into the mattress caused me to panic and chip for air. I pushed myself up on my elbows and knees. Not realizing this helped Jean’s situation with trying to pull my jeans down.

 

The edges of my vision was going black but at the feeling of the warm clammy hands slipping in between my jeans and underwear I lost it and kicked out. Hitting his thigh made him lose balance just enough for me to push my elbow back. I heard and felt the impact of what I assumed was his nose. Scrambling loose, I fell on to the floor and half crawled to the door while getting on my feet.

I heard Jean swearing and yelling from the bed. How I made it up the stairs I will never know, but I somehow made it out of the house. It was pouring down with rain but it didn’t matter, once off the driveway I manage to start running.

 

I didn’t stop until I staggered into one of the parks we always used to play in as kids. Crawling into the small gazebo and huddling in the small space right by the entrance. My teeth were clattering and I was soaked to the bone. I trembled when getting my phone out, thanking whatever miracle made it so I still had it.

 

My finger froze over the screen and I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes as I moved between K and M. I whimpered, inhaling shakily and pushed in between both of them. The dial tone sounded extremely loud in the middle of the dark. For a couple horrifying seconds I realized it was almost 11pm. New tears formed as I expected the call to go to voicemail, when the low voice came through.

  
“hello.”  


 

“L-Lev-i….?”

  
  


  
  
  


“Armin, wha-?”

 

“Levi can you pick me up?”

I sobbed into the phone not caring that it was late at night. Not caring it was a two hour drive. I curled up tighter and struggled to speak through the chills and trembles.

 

  


 

**~~***~~**

 

  


 

I had no idea of how long it had been and I didn’t hear the car. Not until a careful hand was put on my shoulder did I manage to lift my head slightly. Slender fingers that felt warm on my ice cold skin made me flinch and cower back with a yelp.

 

“Ssh… Armin it’s me Levi, it’s alright.”

Looking up I blinked, trying to focus on dark eyes. His face was blurry but I would recognize that scowl anywhere. My cheek slumped into his hand and my eyes fell shut again.

 

“Armin you are freezing cold, I need to get you in the car. Can you stand?”

Levi shifted now carefully holding my face with both his hands. His voice was fading in and out, and I tried to open my eyes again.

 

“Shit, your damn lips are blue.”

Levi sounded pained and I let out a whine knowing that I messed up. I should of called someone else.

“Armin I’m going to lift you up, is that alright?”

 

Unable to answer him I just leant towards him, almost falling forward in the small space between us.

“I got you.”

 

With no effort what so ever he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and lifted me up with his other arm hooked under my knees. Something was wrong, he was warm, Levi is always cool. I mumbled and struggled a little in his grip. Soft, comforting words bounced around in my ears and I slumped my head down, facing the crook of his neck.

 

I forced my eyes open as the light of the car caught me off guard and I grabbed tightly onto Levi’s shirt. Shaking my head frantically and nuzzled to him.

 

“Armin I have to put you down in the passenger seat to get you home.”

He gently pried my fingers of his collar and put me down. Before pulling back he shuffled out of his hoodie and draped it over my soaked shoulders and bare arms. His hand brushed over my cheek and then closed the door.

 

I jumped as the driver seat door opened and my breathing sped up making me chip for air. My head spun and I closed my eyes tightly. Something soft ruffled through my hair and gently rubbed over my cheeks.

 

“I’m just drying you off a little ok. Please try and breathe.”

Couple more rubs and the towel was tucked around my legs. Levi leaned past me and grabbed the seat belt, locking me in. The soothing hum of words wouldn’t stop but I couldn’t make them out.The heat in the car slowly made me more lucid and kept trying to wipe up the tears running down my face.  
  
  
We had barely made it out the town when I felt my stomach flip. Leaning forward with a groan, I put my hand on the dashboard for balance.

 

“Levi… Pull over… now…”

I huffed with strained words trying ignore the feeling rising in my throat. The car had barely stopped when I clawed at the door handle and pretty much fell out. The pain in my knees and hands reduced to nothing as my body convulsed.

 

Coughing and spluttering I cried out as it stung my nose. When I heard soft steps behind me I started shaking my head in panic.

 

“No, Levi… Its revolting… I’m revolting…”

I got interrupted by another wave rolling through me. A gentle hand was placed on my back, rubbing softly as the other reached over and brushed the hair out of my face.

 

“I don’t care.”

 

I was still trembling violently but had stopped throwing up. Levi carefully pulled me off my knees and back into my seat, legs still outside, my back towards the driver's seat I looked up at him.

“Levi… I’m getting your car wet”

“I don’t care, it’s alright.”

 

He stated again leaning pass me and grabbing a water bottle. Unscrewing the lid he held it up to my lips. I took a shaky sip with half of it slipping out the corner of my mouth and down my chin.

 

“Do you feel better now?”

 

I nodded and he seemed to take a moment before folding my legs back in the car and closing the door up. Slumping back in the seat, I closed my eyes and just wished to get home.

 

 

 

Somehow I must've either fell asleep or passed out. When I came to, I was cradled against Levi’s chest as he was trying to fish out the keys for his apartment. My head was throbbing so I just let it rest on his shoulder. He got us inside and headed to his bathroom putting me gently down on the closed toilet lid.

 

“You are still freezing, I’m going to draw you a bath ok?”

Making sure I wouldn’t fall over, he quickly made his way over to the taps and turned the water on before returning to me. I was trying, to no avail, to get his hoodie off me but my arms wouldn’t cooperate. They were cold and my jeans felt gross; I sent Levi a desperate look.

 

“Do you want me to help you?”

He hesitated but put his hand on the top of my arm. For a moment I didn’t know why he was asking but then it hit me and new tears fell of my face. Looking down at my lap I nodded shortly.

Levi moved slowly as he took the hoodie off and peeled my shirt off. I watched him through half lidded eyes, everything was so blurry. My head slumped against his midsection and I noted how his hands stopped when reaching the button on my jeans.

 

“Armin.”

I turned my head up. He was looking down at me eyes swimming with concern. Nodding my arms dropped to my side. Everything was feeling so heavy and tingly. His steady hands got the button open and rolled the jeans off and my socks. Standing up he held my cheek.

“Will you be alright getting in the bath?”

I glanced over at the steamy water and back at him.

“Y-yeah.”

 

“Good.”

He nodded, walked over to turn the taps off and pulled out a towel from a cupboard. Stopping in the door he looked back at me.

“I’ll be right out here, call me if you need anything.”

 

I mumbled and he closed the door after himself. Eyeing the water again I got up, instantly grabbing onto the sink as my legs threatened to give in. Not even bothering with my underwear I sank into the water.

_It hurts, It's hot…_

Whimpering I pulled my knees up and chipped for air. Luckily it didn’t take long for my body to heat up and for the warmth to feel calming. The bath smelled like Levi, clean and citrusy. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the edge.  


 

A knock startled me and I jolted up straight, regretting it instantly as it made my head spin like crazy. The door peeked open just an inch.

“Hey, you ok?”

 

Sighing I leaned back again when I realized it was just Levi. I tried to wave him off, but he stepped in and walked over. The tiniest of smile appeared as he hunched down next to the tub.

“You’ve been in here for a while. Do you need help out?”

 

I started to protest but I could barely move my arms or legs so I just hung my head and agreed. He took my hands and put them around his neck and carefully hoisted me up so I could lift my legs over the edge. Grabbing the towel, he started with my hair and continued carefully down my body. I had gained some mobility and once he deemed me dry enough he held out a small pile of clothes and I took them.

 

“Get changed, I made the guest bed for you.”

He lingered in the door for a second before disappearing again.

 

It was challenging to get out of my damp underwear and into the big dark grey T-shirt and black shorts that Levi had given me. But I managed and rummaged around a little until I found a new toothbrush. Wobbling out on unsteady legs I made it into the guest room where Levi was just putting down a glass of water. He held out his hand with two small pills.

 

“You have a fever Armin.”

 

I had figured as much, so I didn’t hesitate taking them but swallowing was hard. After I crawled up on the bed and collapsed with a heavy sigh. I felt the covers being rearranged and then pulled over me. I didn’t even get a chance to say thank you before I drifted into sleep.

  
  
  


 

My eyes fluttered open and I groaned, grabbing my head, curling into a ball. Everything was spinning and my head was throbbing. My stomach was rolling again and I whimpered trying to pry my eyes open.

 

“Hey it's ok.”

I hadn’t even noticed Levi was on the bed and was now rubbing my back gently.

“You going to throw up again?”

 

I hissed out a yes and Levi leaned over me, moving a bucket closer. Trembling, I leaned over the edge of the bed but nothing happened. His hand was on my back again, moving up and down slowly.

 

“Armin you have been out for five hours.”

Levi helped me lay back down when my body seemed to have relaxed again. He eyed me gingerly, no sign of his normal scowl.

“I really should take you to a hospital.”

 

I froze up, my entire body stiff with panic and I scrambled away from him, almost falling off the bed in the process. His face contorted into confusion and worry as he reached out.  
“NO! No hospitals!”

 

“Armin sorry, I won’t force you to go.”

My heart was still racing but I allowed him to help me back. I looked at the wall chewing my lip.

“I will call Hange, and see what she can do. Ok?”

 

I nodded, my head spinning as I sunk down in the pillows again. Levi got up and disappeared out the room. He soon came back with more water and the same pills as last time. My ears were ringing and Levi was blurry. I closed my eyes, hoping to get some more sleep.

  
  
  
  
  


_“Let me come look at him.”_

_“No, Hange not right now… come back tomorrow ok…? Please?”_

_“Will he be alright Levi?”_

_“Hange, I know just as much as you.”_

_“I know sorry.”_

 

Distant voices made me stir awake again, my head felt fuzzy and the ceiling wouldn’t stop spinning.

 

“L-Levi…”

My mouth felt like cotton but I managed to make enough noise to hear the conversation in the hallway cut short and Hange ushered out, front door closing. Levi appeared in the door and I squinted against the hallway lights.

 

“Sorry did we wake you?”

I nodded, shielding my eyes with my arm.

“Hange got her hands on some antibiotics, I need to get you something to eat though.”

 

His face was gone and my face scrunched up at the idea of food. Rolling onto my side, I hoped to just fall asleep again. However my body felt like it was on fire and my arm kept twitching. I couldn’t help the small whimpers that escaped with my ragged breathing.

 

“Come on.”

Levi had returned and helped me into a somewhat sitting position. I managed to drink some water before slumping back against the pillows. His hand nudged me and when I looked up he was holding out the tiniest bit of bread. Opening my mouth, he raised an eyebrow before popping it in. I managed four tiny pieces before shaking my head and moving my arm over my eyes.

 

“Levi it hurts.”

 

“I know, here.”

I groaned softly and moved my arm, this time he was holding up some new tablets and a cup of tea with a straw in it. I tried to laugh at how silly it looked but it caused my brain to rattle and a coughing fit.

 

“Yeah, yeah very funny. Now please take these.”

Levi insisted but I couldn’t bother to move forward, so I just opened my mouth again. He chuckled quietly and placed the tablets on my tongue and then held the straw out. I don’t know how I managed to swallow, but i did. Soon after I was tucked down beneath the covers again.

 

“Wait…”

I grabbed his arm weakly as he tried to get up and looked around anxiously.

“My phone…”

 

“It’s right there on the nightstand by you, no one called or messaged.”

He smoothed my hair out before leaning over and grabbing the phone and placed it next to me.

“Do you want me to pick up if someone does?”

 

I nodded but cradled it to me while curling up into my ball again. Before drifting off again I heard Levi reassure me he would be in the living room and to call me. I slurred a reply and pulled the covers up to my nose.

  


The next twenty-four hours was a delirious mess, I kept waking up screaming or crying only to pass out again just as fast. My limbs felt so extremely heavy and my brain wouldn’t work right. Somehow every time I was lucid enough to see something clear, it was always worried steel-grey eyes. There was more tea with straws and tiny bread pieces.

  
  
  


This time was different. Fluttering my eyes open, I almost had a small heart attack at the big soft brown eyes looking down at me from the edge of the bed. For once the disheveled ponytail was groomed and pulled back neatly in its band.

 

“Hey Armin, Buttercup, how are you feeling?”

Hanges words were calm and her hand smoothed my side from on top of the covers. I blinked in confusion and had to rub my eyes and look around.

“Levi is in the livingroom.”

 

I sighed and sank back in the sheets, before I remembered I had a question to answer.

“It’s… a little better I think…”

Coughing then sitting, and pulling myself up a little so I could talk easier.

 

“I still feel like shit… but I can focus my eyes, and I can feel my limbs better.”

Sighing and pulling my arm over my eyes to shield from the bedroom light. Hange nodded and held out a bottle of water for me. I took it and drank some of it with a bit of effort. When she took it back she shuffled a little bit before locking her eyes with mine. Her low voice made me have to pay extra attention.

 

“Now Armin…”

She sighed and rubbed her forehead like she didn’t know how to continue.

“I know that you told Levi nothing happened with this douche. But as a doctor I need to know if that’s true.”

 

Technically she wasn’t a doctor yet but that was the last thing that went through my head at the statement. My heartrate went through the roof and soon my head was spinning. Soft hands were rubbing my back.

 

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts, It’s alright you are safe here.”

I chipped and tried to focus on her soft whispers rather than the screaming in my head. Curling up and grabbing the sides of my head helped and soon I managed to relax my body enough.

 

“He didn’t do anything.”

I manage to mumble but didn’t open my eyes. Hange sighed behind me and I flinched ready for a lecture. Nothing happened except her shuffling on the bed, then the door opened. Small whispers made me open my eyes and look at them. Levi nodded and ruffled Hanges hair, making her squeak and protectively trying to shield herself.

 

Once she disappeared out the door Levi closed it and walked over taking the spot she was just in. He offered me the water again but I shook my head.

 

“How about a shower?”

That’s an offer I wouldn’t decline though, the clothes Levi had lent me felt plastered to my body and it felt rather gross.

 

“P-please”

 

“I washed your clothes, do you want them or would you rather borrow some of mine?”

 

“Yours… if you don’t mind.”

I stuttered out and buried my face in the pillow. He nodded and got up holding a hand out. Walking was still rather difficult but we made it to the bathroom somehow. Perched on the closed toilet lid again, I watched him dart back out.

 

“Do you want to sit in the bath, or actually stand in the shower?”

He walked back inside with a towel and set of clothes. Looking over, weighing both options I sighed.

 

“I think it’s better if I sit in the tub.”

 

Levi nodded and placed the pile he was holding on the counter within reach.

 

“Do you think you want to try and eat something afterwards?”

He was smoothing my hair down again and I leaned into the touch without thinking. I mumbled saying I could try and eat something. He nodded and made sure I was alright by myself before disappearing again to give me space.

  
  


Feeling considerably fresher but very dizzy I fumbled out into the living room area. Curling up on the couch, I reached over grabbing a blanket. It was big, heavy and a deep dark green. It looked slightly out of place in Levis normally neutral room but somehow it felt right. I pulled it over my head like a hood and wrapped it around my folded body to stop myself from trembling.

 

“Feeling better?”

Levi came over, setting down a bowl of cold pasta salad. I noticed the chicken and goat cheese and stifled a sob. He blinked in confusion and his hand moved to rub my back.

“Hey I only intended for you to eat the pasta, don’t force yourself ok?”

 

“No, no that’s not it.”

I smiled a little, trying to gather myself with a deep shaky inhale.

The worry didn’t fully disappear from his eyes but he sat down. Stabbing individual bits of the corkscrew shaped pasta and holding them up for me to eat. I even dared a couple pieces of chicken before my stomach clenched and I had to shake my head. Levi put the fork down and held up a glass of water.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


By dinner time the next day I was feeling considerably better but eating was still hard. I was curled up on the couch with the blanket draped over me when I heard the front door. Levi had left for work this morning. Even though it had taking me a lot of convincing, pretty much kicking him out. Watching the door open, I noticed he wasn’t alone and Hange’s curious eyes peeked up from behind him.

 

“Behave.”

Levi patted her head before walking to the kitchen with a bag of groceries. She skipped over to me and sat down with considerably more grace than usual.

“Did someone replace Hange when I was gone?”

I looked between them and they both stayed quiet for a second before Hange burst out laughing. Her arms wrapped around me into a tight hug with her nose in my hair.

 

“No! I guess I just kind of went into work mode!”

She giggled and I regretted asking as her now loud voice rattled my brain and I groaned. Levi chuckled and scolded her before turning to make tea and joining us.

 

After hanging out around Hange for thirty minutes, I was exhausted and slumped over leaning to Levi.

“Levi?”

He hummed in response, his attention on the TV.

“Can you take me home? I want my clothes.”

He turned and seemed to assess me, his eyes scanning me up and down. Nodding he got up and turned the TV off, to Hanges horror.

“I will stay for the night though.”

 

I froze up and hugged the blanket closer around me. Chewing my lip, I weighed the chances of getting in trouble. Being alone probably wasn’t a good option so I sighed and hung my head.

 

“I’m only there as a friend, if your mother starts. I’m also your senior at school.”

Levi was in the kitchen putting stuff from his fridge into a bag. Hange looked confused between us, her mouth open like she wanted to ask something. I glanced at her and shook my head. She seemed to understand and got up to stalk over to poke Levi in the ribs.

 

Pulling up outside my house, I was too tired to really care about what my mother would think. I instructed Levi where to park and stumbled out the door. I had told him not to help me to my front door, but I wish I had. Everything was spinning by the time I got inside and I leaned to the wall.

 

Pointing over to the kitchen door, Levi got the idea and wrapped an arm around my waist and led me through it. He whistled low as the room opened up revealing the open space. I let out a tired laugh and eyed the staircase.

 

“How about I put you down here so we can have some tea and I get you some clothes.”

I bit down my lip, looking down at the floor. It wasn’t the idea of him going through my clothes that bothered me but a seemingly bigger issue.

 

“Erm... I only have the coffee machine.”

I blushed for some reason, feeling like an absolute idiot. Levi’s dumbfounded face made me laugh though. His hard eyes scanned the kitchen and locked onto the small machine like it insulted him. I wobbled over and sat by the counter, too tired to keep standing.

 

“You have a pot though right.”

He huffed and started rummaging around. Without me needing to say anything he managed to find one and filled it up with water.

After tea and Levi’s complaining about the fact that I needed to get a kettle, he helped me upstairs and I was happy to finally get into my own clothes. Getting a spare cover and pillow, I walked back out to the living room area.

“Are you sure the couch is good enough?”

 

“I’m sure.”

He eyed the pile I was carrying and shuffled to let me pass, averting his eyes.

“Hmm... Can I have a sheet too?”

 

“Oh.”

Of course, I’m so stupid. I nodded and quickly turned back into the bedroom to fetch one. Of course, it’s Levi. He’s probably uncomfortable as it is. It’s not his house. He never said anything but I could tell by the way he always picked the same café, always the same seat. Holding his cup that special way only he did. He needed things a certain way.

 

Shaking my head, I walked out again, handing him the sheet before hurrying back. I closed the door and leaned my head on it closing my eyes. I messed up again. He didn't want to be here, surely not, I was just clingy and annoying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are,  
> I sincerely hope that wasn't too much.  
> Now this is pretty obviously the end of the relationship with Jean, so if you're here for him I'm sorry i crushed your dreams lol
> 
> I feel the need to point out that obviously Armin never cheated. 
> 
> Its feels wrong to say 'hope you enjoyed' lol, but I do hope that it at least made you feel something!  
> let me know :)
> 
>  
> 
> Oh also, as prompted i made a tumblr: https://alexiarivaille.tumblr.com/  
> now I dunno what the hell to do on there to be patient with me xD


	8. Coping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeks go by so dang fast sometimes!
> 
> This chapter is more lighthearted i swear <3
> 
> Have a nice read :)

The sun had crept up on the bed and I blinked, groaning as I turned around to rub my eyes. My head was throbbing and I didn’t want to get up. A rattling noise from downstairs had me freeze up, before I remembered that it was most likely Levi. Carefully I moved over to the edge and stood up. Things were spinning and out of focus but not as bad as it had been. I pulled on a pale blue hoodie over my sleeping shirt and shorts. Finding my pink slippers I smiled and stepped into them.

 

When I entered into the livingroom the first thing I noticed was the empty couch. The pillows were fluffed up and the cover and sheet neatly folded and put to one side. I could hear Levi downstairs, shuffling around and I could smell eggs.

 

“You didn’t have to cook you know.”

I tried to stifle a yawn as I reached the bottom of the stairs. Levi looked up from the cooker, his eyes taking in my appearance. He snorted and I saw a smirk creep onto his lips before he turned back.

 

“Nice slippers”

  
  


I rolled my eyes and walked over to sit by the island. I laid my arms down and leaned my head on them. I glanced up as I heard a glass being pushed my direction together with two tablets. Groaning I hid my face and shook my head.

 

“Armin, I can see your head spinning.”

 

I huffed and sat up taking the glass and quickly swallowed the tablets. Levi nodded and went back to plating our breakfast. It was just sandwiches with fried eggs but I still felt bad. I should have made it for him. He ushered me upstairs with a scowl.

  
  


When I sat down on the couch, Levi put the plate in my lap and handed me a fork. He sat down next to me and turned the TV on. We ate quietly not really talking. I managed to get through almost all of it before my body said no.

  
  


 

A sharp knock on my front door had me flinch and I pulled on my sleeves. Levi’s head snapped up and looked towards the stairs.

 

“Armin are you expecting anyone?”

I shook my head jerkily and he got up, putting his plate down. Before I had the chance to react he was already halfway down the stairs.

  
  


“L-Levi! Wait.”

I got up a little too quickly and stumbled forward. Once I regained my balance I made my way downstairs. My heart rate was through the roof and I tried to keep my breathing normal.  _ What if it’s him _ .   
  
When i walked into the utility room, I almost started crying right there. It was only Mikasa.

  
  


I stopped in the door and just took in the scene in front of me. Both she and Levi was just standing there quietly. Casual enough to look friendly but both on edge. Steel eyes locked onto steel eyes and faces blank. Like they were sizing up the other in some sort of silent conversation.

 

“Levi it’s Alright, this is Mikasa.”

Both their heads snapped up and looked at me. Levi stepped aside and Mikasa hurried past him and up to me.

  
  


“Armin. Are you ok? Jean said you got sick.”

She hugged me and all the color drained of my face. A shudder went down my spine and I whimpered. I was sick now, because of him.

“Armin? I brought your bag, he said you forgot it.”

  
  


I saw Levi with my bag but his face was out of focus. My breathing was rapid and Mikasa pulled back to look at my face. Her eyes widened and she put her hand on my cheek. Her head then snapped around to glare at Levi. I tugged on her jacket trying to get her attention, before she ripped his head of.   
  


 

“U-upstairs Mika... please…”

I chipped out but she seemed to understand and carefully guided me back into the house. We headed upstairs and I sunk down on the couch, taking a moment to calm my breathing. I could hear Levi downstairs probably making tea. Mikasa’s hand kept rubbing my back. My voice failed multiple times but eventually I got all the words out over trembling lips. Explaining everything.

  
  


“I will kill him.”

Mikasa shot up from the couch almost knocking over the coffee table. I gasped and quickly tried to grab her hand.

 

“Mikasa wait no!”

I cried out but she was already storming down the stairs again.

 

“No I swear! He is fucking dead!

She growled and I scrambled to get up as her black hair disappeared out of view.

 

I wiped at my eyes and hurried to follow her.

  
  


“What’s your problem!?”   
  


She barked out. I inhaled sharply and scrambled down the first couple steps. When they came into view again Levi’s hand was wrapped around her upper arm. They had gone quiet but I could see both their eyes was flashing with an array of emotions. When I made it over she angrily shrugged his arm of but didn’t move. It took them another 30 seconds before they turned to look at me.

  
  


“Just please don’t say anything to anyone.”

I stuttered out and new tears were falling down my face. Her eyes filled with pain and she reached out pulling me into a tight hug.

 

“Sorry.”

She mumbled into my hair. I burrowed my face into her shoulder and let her hold me.

  
  


“Milk two sugar.”

The clink of a coffee mug on the island made us look over. Levi was casually leaning on it sipping on his tea. He nodded towards the two other mugs. I wiped my eyes and walked over to cradle my tea as I sat down on a stool. Mikasa quietly followed and grabbed the coffee.    
  
How on earth Levi had known how my best friend had her coffee I would never know.

  
  
  


Mikasa stayed until after lunch when she decided it was time for her to leave. It had been slightly awkward between everyone. She and Levi kept up their silent staring conversations pretty much the entire morning. After giving her a hug and locking the door as she left I sighed sinking down on the floor.

  
  


It took a couple minutes for Levi to come out to find me. He sank down on the floor as well and I stared in horror. Scrambling to get up, I quickly held my hand out for him.

 

“Levi the floor is dirty.”

 

He just shrugged but took my hand to pull himself up.

“I’ve been through worse.”

 

Walking back into the kitchen he rubbed the back of his neck rolling his head. I bit my lip, sleeping on the couch probably wasn’t ideal.

 

“Levi I’ll be ok now, you can go home.”

I mumbled tugging at my sleeves. Not that I wanted him to, I didn’t want to be alone, but I had taken up enough of his time.

 

“I’ll stay for dinner, and I will be back tomorrow.”

He stated and before I could argue he went back upstairs.

  
  


Staying true to his words Levi stayed for dinner. He cooked again even though I tried to convince him I was just fine. Packing up his things he left the bottle of pills on the counter and instructed me to take some before bed again. I nodded and then quickly hurried to usher him outside. Before heading out he turned and lightly brushed his thumb over my cheek.

 

“Call me if anything happens.”

 

I nodded and once again closed the door.  _ Why is he being so nice _ ?

Chewing my lip I ran a hand through my hair, deciding to have a shower before bed. Feeling considerably calmer I snuggled down in bed with probably double the amounts of pillows I really needed. I huffed and rolled over, for the first time this week I actually felt rather good. Talking to Mikasa really helped.

  
  
  


 

At least that’s what I thought.   
  
  


 

It was pitch black outside when I jolted awake with a scream. My entire body felt drenched in cold sweet and I trembled violently. I scrambled frantically out of bed to turn the ceiling light on. It blinded me and I blinked crawling over to have the wall to my back.

 

Curling up into a ball I tried to calm my breathing but it was rather pointless.

This shouldn’t affect me so much. It was my own fault.  _ I asked for it _ . I love him. I’m smarter than this. Shouldn’t be dragged down by this.

The room was spinning and waves of nausea rippled through me. Eventually I struggled to get on my feet. I found the same pale blue hoodie as yesterday and shrugged it on, struggling with the zip.

 

I almost fell down the last couple steps but managed to get my shoes. Tying shoes when your hands are shaking and you can’t focus on anything a feet in front of you is a hassle. Tumbling out the door I noticed it was raining again.  _ This summer sucks _ . Settling into a jog I headed down a familiar route.

  
  
  


Judging by the time it took for the door in front of me to open, at least he hadn’t been asleep. Water was dripping of my hair and my shoulders were soaked. I smiled bashfully. Levi’s eyes widened as he took in my appearance before grabbing me and pulling me inside. He didn’t say anything as he quickly ran to get a towel.

  
  


When he came back I hadn’t moved an inch, I was just staring at the wall. I felt him take the hoodie of me and patted my shoulders before drying my hair. He led me to the sofa and wrapped me in the green blanket. I shifted and made sure it enveloped my entire body. Levi disappeared again but I heard the kettle start and his bedroom open.

 

I looked up when his form appeared in front of me again, blinking I realized he was holding out something for me. It was his brown college sweater and I got the hint dropping the blanket to pull it over my head. My frame was more slender than Levi’s so the sleeves were a bit too long. I played with the fabric before huddling back under the blanket again.   
  


 

“Armin.”

Snapping my eyes up it took me a moment to see the tea cup being held out for me. Cradling it close I sunk back down.

 

“Are you trying to get sick again?”

Levi sank down next to me and leaned over to move the hair out of my eyes. I shook my head and took a sip of my drink.

 

“Nightmare.”

 

“You could have called.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

I chewed on my lip. He was angry. Of course he was angry. I put the cup down and laid down on my side. Levi’s hand came to rub my shoulder gently. It made me flinch but soon I relaxed into the touch. My eyelids felt so heavy and before I knew it I fell asleep.

  
  
  
  


When I opened my eyes again I was momentarily confused before I realized I was in Levi’s spare bedroom. My legs where tangled up in the blanket and I was nuzzled into the sleeves of his sweater. A noise from the kitchen startled me and I sat up quickly.   
  


 

“Don’t you dare I just cleaned there!”

 

A high pitched laugh echoed throughout the apartment. I rubbed my eyes and got of the bed. I pushed the door open and leaned against the frame.

 

“Oh my god! Hange get of the counter! You’re not a damn cat!”

 

I snickered a little at the scene in the kitchen. Hange was sitting on the counter casually swinging her legs. Levi had his hands in the sink doing dishes, scowling angrily at her.

 

“Mmm… Noope! I like the view from up here!”

She grinned and tilted her head.

“You should try it, shorty!”

 

“Alright that’s it!”

 

Before me or Hange could react Levi pulled his hand up quickly, holding a plastic spatula. He took one step over and brought it down on her thigh with a loud smack. Hange squealed and flew of the counter to jump out the way. He managed to get her one more time, right on her rear end before she retreated. She bolted and jumped the back of the couch only to poke her head up over it.

 

“Aah! Levi! That hurt!”

She turned to look at the back of her jeans.

“You got me all wet too!”

 

At this point I couldn’t help but burst out laughing almost folding over. Levi and Hange looked up and smiled when they spotted me.

 

“Watch out Armin! Levi has some weird kitchen utensil kink!”

Hange flopped over, laughing on the couch and I snorted. Levi just groaned, rolled his eyes and returned to doing the dishes.

 

  
  


Once I recovered from my small laughing fit I walked over and sat by Hange. I pulled my legs up and looked at her timidly. She seemed to gather herself somewhat and sat up, pushing her glasses up her nose.

 

“Levi said you had a nightmare.”

 

I nodded and started to fidget with my hands in my lap. She glanced over her shoulder at Levi then back at me.

 

“If you want to talk to someone I can refer you.”

 

I quickly shook my head without looking up. I know she was only trying to help but the thought of telling someone made me feel slightly nauseous. She hummed quietly and reached out to rub my back.

  
  


Levi came back a little later and all three of us spent the day on the couch watching movies. To my joy we even ordered Chinese-food and I even managed to eat a lot of it.   
  
  
  
  
  
  


***   
  
  
  
  
  
  


The rest of summer was spent in pretty much the same manner. I didn’t go to the lake house with my friends. Instead I went back and forth between my house and Levi’s. I still had nightmares, but now usually a phone call was enough and I spent most nights in my own house.

 

Krista had come to visit and it had been amazing. When she left I felt extremely guilty. I had only been able to say that Jean and I broke up. Unable to explain all the details to my innocent little friend.

  
  


My troubles with sleeping only increased, I was always slightly irritable and constantly tired. When the new semester rolled around Levi was back at my place cooking twice a week. For the first time in my life studying didn’t feel appealing but he kept pushing. His normally expressionless face almost always clouded with a worried scowl.

  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  


“what are you guys doing for Halloween!?”

Looking up from my text books that were spread around Levi’s livingroom. I blinked confused, staring at Hanges face where she was seated on the couch. Levi just groaned and pulled a cushion over his face.

 

“Halloween?”

 

“Yeah! It’s in two weeks!”

She exclaimed and threw her hands out almost knocking into Levi. 

 

How had I missed almost two months had passed? I rubbed the back of my neck biting down on my lip.

 

“Mm… I don’t really know.”

 

“You two have to come down to the bar with the rest of us!”

Hange clapped her hands together. I looked over to Levi and nudged his leg, making him pull the cushion of his face.

 

“If I have to dress up, I’m not coming.”

He stated before sending a scowl Hanges way. She just clapped her hands again bouncing.

 

“No no! Just dress in like a nice outfit! But maybe try and make it a little different?”

She tilted her head and pleaded with big brown eyes. Levi grunted but agreed.

  
  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


I fiddled with my jacket as I walked up to the bar. It was the same we normally went to. Music was flooding out through the open door. I saw Mike, it felt like he was always working. I shuffled anxiously searching for Levi and Hange.

 

“Armin was it?”

Mike huffed out and I flinched before turning to him and nodding.

“Levi and Hange already went inside.”

 

“Oh”

I chewed my lip and tried to look through the windows, but they were too filled with decorations.

 

“It’s alright you can go in, you know the rules.”

 

“If you have to drag me out at 9pm half-drunk, we will all be banned.”

I repeated his standard threat and he nodded seemingly pleased before stepping aside to let me in.

  
  


 

Once inside it really wasn’t too hard to locate Hange, She was laughing loudly like usual, leaning on the bar. What really made her stand out though was the white lab coat she was wearing together with some big crazy goggles nestled up on her head. I assumed she had borrowed it from where she was working, since it had her name embroidered onto it. I doubt that was allowed, not like that wouldn’t stop her.

 

When I got closer I froze up as the person next to her turned into the light. Levi looked amazing. He had on black dress pants, a white shirt with his collar popped up, and a dark crimson west on top. Slung over his left shoulder was a matching black jacket that he was casually holding with two fingers. Even his hair was slightly more messed up than usual.

 

I blinked startled when he turned and locked eyes with me. It was so unusual to see him in any other color than blacks and greys. The red looked amazing. He waved to me and I hurried over.

  
  


“H-hi.”

I stuttered, a stupid blush creeping onto my face. Levi’s eyes scanned me and stopped at my head. Most likely noting the grey beanie I was wearing, he raised an eyebrow. Taking my jacket of it revealed the big oversized white hoodie. I shuffled feeling slightly out of place.

  
  


“See! Even Armin dressed differently!”

Hange protested and poked Levi in the ribs.

 

“I dressed up look!”

He gestured towards himself but Hange just rolled her eyes.

 

“Close your eyes Levi!”

She giggled but he just narrowed his eyes. After some more persuading he gave up with a sigh and squeezed his eyes shut. Hange held up a finger across her lips for me to stay quiet. Then she reached inside her lab coat and pulled out black hair band.

 

I slapped my hands over my mouth as I realized it wasn’t just a plain black one. It had two soft looking cat ears on them and I had to try extremely hard not to giggle. She looked like she was about to explode as she leaned over and settled it firmly on Levi’s head.

  
  


“Much better!”

She barked out and then started laughing. Levi opened his eyes looking rather unimpressed as he felt up the ears.

 

“Hange why.”

He groaned scowling deeply and she swatted his hands when he tried to take it off.

 

“This suits you way better, sour-puss!”

Levi groaned and pushed at her and she fell over laughing on the floor.

 

“It does suit you.”

I snickered a little and held my hands up as defense, when his head snapped around to glare at me.

 

We somehow managed to convince Levi to keep his ears on as we made it over to our normal booth. There was already an array of drinks spread out on it and I assumed that’s why Hange was already so giddy. Levi lent back and crossed his legs holding a glass. I sat down and noticed he was holding just like he did with his cups. Slender fingers holding steady onto the rim.

 

“Here.”

I snapped out of my daze when he pushed another glass towards me. I quickly lowered my eyes. I had been staring at his hands for just a little bit too long. Lifting the drink I sniffed it cautiously, only to look back up at Levi.

 

“It’s only a fruity soda. Did you want a proper drink?”

 

“Maybe later.”

I shook my head and took a careful sip. Levi hummed a response and looked over to where Hange was chatting to a bunch of guys. It was amusing to watch her try to be quiet only to fail and laugh so much she nearly fell over.

I wish I could be so happy and carefree.

 

  
  


The music had picked up speed some time ago and Hange and Levi were dancing. Well she was bouncing around and Levi just tried to keep her from bumping into everyone. Erwin had shown up as well but I had lost sight of him. I was sat in the booth with my hands clasped in my lap. I should off invited my friends. But I was still feeling guilty I hadn’t told Krista, Mikasa would probably of hovered constantly and Eren would of made some kind of scene.

 

Looking around the table I noticed the drink Levi had left and I leaned over. I took in a sharp breath before raising the glass and downing whatever was left in there. It was strong and burned, I ended up coughing and chasing it with my cola. I still don’t understand how people can just drink this stuff casually.

  
  
  


“You know I could've bought you something sweeter.”

Levi was suddenly by my side with a knowing smirk. My face flushed and I shuffled to the side to make room so he could sit.

 

“Sorry I drank it all.”

 

“It’s alright, did you want something else?”

 

I nodded not really knowing why and he disappeared from my side again. When he returned he sat a drink in front of me and I had to raise my eyebrow and stare at him.

 

“Pink? Really?”

I huffed and brushed my fringe away from my eyes. Levi just chuckled and watched me with a curious expression, clearly amused. I brought the drink up to my face, nose wrinkling slightly as I smelled it.  _ It smelled alright _ . My eyes lit up as I sipped it and I smiled around the rim.  _ It was sweet _ .

  
  
  


I blinked and stared myself down in the toilet mirror. Hands on the counter I leaned forward and gazed into my own eyes. I had probably had a little too many of those pink drinks. Things were fuzzy but I could still make sense of things. Less could be said about Hange who pretty much had passed out in our booth.

  
“Mm, I had fun.”   
I giggled. who am I kidding, I never get this buzzed.   
“I might be slightly drunk.”

I watched my lips move and then my eyes darted to the door as it pushed open. Seeing it was only Levi, I turned my gaze back to the mirror.

 

“Are you ready to leave Armin?”

My eyes followed Levi in the reflection as he came over and stopped next to me. His hand settled on the small of my back, rubbing small circles. His eyes watched mine and in this lighting they looked black again. I shuddered and turned leaning into him burrowing my head into his shoulder. His hand shifted to my hip and I don’t think he even noticed.

“Armin?”

  
  


I leaned my head back to look at him, his other hand came up to hold my cheek. My eyes steady and staring straight into his. Things had been a bit blurry all night but now I was hyper aware of everything. Well everything Levi. The hand on my hip holding me gently, the fingers stroking my cheek. His concerned scowl and his gorgeous eyes, how they could look so dark sometimes baffled me. I leaned forward and up close like this it was easy to make out the blue hue in the steel grey.

 

His lips parted just slightly like he was trying to think of something to say. I could feel his breath on mine and I shuddered. There was a pull, a need. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath before opening them again, Levi still gazing at me calmly.

 

Then almost like something clicked he shook his head once and pulled me into hug. His nose nuzzled into my hair and he sighed deeply. My arms wrapped around him and I burrowed into his shoulder again. Emotions were ripping through my body but I couldn’t figure them out.

  
  


“We should leave.”

Levi mumbled and I nodded, still trembling as we pulled apart. He however didn’t let go of my hand walking out of the small cramped room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *eyebrow wiggle*
> 
> Again, I have a slight obsession with Levi and cat things. Don't judge ok XD  
> If i could make him wear cat sweaters and glasses all day long i probably would, no regrets lol!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> Ah tumblr, i don't post a hell of a lot as of yet, but i'm always up for a chat!  
> https://alexiarivaille.tumblr.com/


	9. It's not a date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only reading back on this now i realise that this chapter spans all the way from halloween to spring break.   
> bit of a stretch, sorry :)
> 
> I'm currently getting ready to leave for a week, so if the next update is a little late, please excuse me <3
> 
> Now enjoy!

The next day I startled awake to the sound of my phone. As I felt around for it my hands bumped into something soft and warm. I froze up then quickly scrambled backwards, only to fall of the side of the bed with a squeal and a thud. I was tangled in the covers and blinked trying to understand what was happening. A scowling face appeared above me.

 

“Did you really have to pull the cover with you?”

  
“L-levi… what?”

 

He didn’t answer just muttered and pulled the covers back up on the bed. I scrambled up on my knees and looked over towards him. Levi had just wrapped himself up in the covers again facing away from me. I looked around and realized this was his room.

  
  


“Levi?”

 

With a heavy sigh he sat up and looked over at me, running a hand through his ruffled hair.

 

“Hange and Erwin took the guestroom, I assumed you would be more comfortable in here.”

 

“Oh.”

I guess he was right in a way. The idea of sleeping next to either Hange or Erwin sent chills down my spine. Levi yawned and stretched out, then rubbed his face.

 

“Are you gonna pick that up?”

 

That’s when I noticed my phone had started ringing again. I found it on the bedside table and frowned at the caller id.

“Mom, hold on.”

I sighed and sent Levi a look before hurrying out into the livingroom. Once on the couch I reached over and wrapped myself in Levi’s green blanket.

  
  


“Armin! Where on earth are you!?”   
  


“I’m at a friends, we went out last night.”

I cringed when she started to bark all kinds of insults at me. The bedroom door opened, my eyes followed as Levi walked down to the bathroom.

 

“Yes mom, I know it’s on Saturday.”

“Yes mom, I will be back don’t worry.”

“Yes mom…”

 

Once she finally hung up I sighed and let the phone drop into my lap. I curled up wrapping myself tighter. She had invited Krista’s family for my birthday dinner. As much as I missed her terribly I knew this was just another set up by our parents. Another attempt at getting us together. A deep part of me screamed that it all would be so much easier if we could be together. But it wasn’t possible.

  
  


“What’s on Saturday?”

I jumped, startled at Levi’s reappearance. When I turned to answer my mouth went dry and I stared. He’d clearly had a shower while I was on the phone. Now standing in the hallway in only black sweatpants, casually drying his hair. Water drops falling down on his lean chest.

 

“U-mhm… My parents has set up a birthday dinner for me.”

 

”Your birthday is on Saturday?”

 

I nodded and my eyes didn’t leave him as he walked over to the kitchen and turned the kettle on. He glanced back at me.

 

“You should've said something, I would've gotten you a gift.”

 

“N-no it’s alright.

  
  


A small smile played at the corner of his lip as he turned away from me again. I quickly lowered my eyes to my lap. Clasping my hands I rubbed my fingers together. I hope he didn’t notice me staring. My chest felt a bit tight and I sunk down in my seat. I shouldn’t feel like this, like looking at his naked chest was something I would love to do every day.

 

It all felt so natural, sitting in this tiny living room watching TV. Levi is so close to me and I can’t help but lean onto him, seeking any kind of contact. I know I shouldn’t, I know I’m being clingy but I just can’t help it.

 

Eventually Hange and Erwin had woken up, both extremely hung over. Which Levi seemed to relish in, since he for once could drive Hange up the wall instead of the other way around. There was lots of snarky comments flying around and I’m sure I picked up at least two new swear words I’ve never heard before.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


I straighten out my white dress shirt with a sigh and looked up at the other blonde. Krista smiled and clapped her hands. We were hiding in my part of the house, trying to avoid our parents for as long as possible. She was wearing a pretty pale blue dress that made her look amazing.

 

“You look good Armin.”

She got up and corrected my collar. I sighed and gave her a hug.

 

“Krista I miss you too much.”   
  


“I know Armin I miss you a lot to. How are you holding up?”

 

Her question made me avert my eyes and chew my lip. I really needed to tell her, but where do I even start. She tilted her head, putting a hand on my cheek to get my attention back. Those innocent bright blue eyes looking into mine.

  
  


“Krista, he hurt me, he really did.”

It was all I could manage and I felt terrible seeing the pain that seeped into her eyes. She corrected my already perfect collar and sighed.

 

“We could tell something was wrong. Sasha was really worried. But you looked so happy Armin, we didn’t know what to do.”

 

“No please, Krista don’t blame yourself.”

 

I hugged her tightly. This was all my fault, if either of them blamed themselves I would feel awful. I had asked for it, I should've known better. She patted my shoulder and nuzzled into my hair. It’s horrible, how much the smallest touches makes me feel so happy and content. I wish I could linger just a little longer in the contact, but no one likes when I’m too clingy. I pulled back quickly and cleared my throat.

 

“We should go, I bet dinner is almost done.”

  
  
  


Dinner started rather civilized, our parents looked happy when we came in. We sat down and our parents brought up the normal questions about college, work and such. My mother had been eyeing me for a couple minutes before she finally put her fork down.

 

“Armin, your professor said you got a C.”

 

I winced and looked up from my plate, where I had been pushing the food around. She wasn’t lying but that didn’t make it any better.

 

“I had a bit of a falling out with the professor, sorry mom.”

I mumbled under my breath. That however was a lie, I just hadn’t been focusing enough this semester. I felt Krista’s hand move across my leg to take my hand, she squeezed it softly.

  
  


“You do realize how much trouble it is keeping up with everything, right? We do expect you to perform at top level Armin.”

My mother barked at me with a hard glare.   
  


_ I know, I know I failed I’m sorry… _

I chewed my lip looking down at the table while she continued her assault of reasons why I needed to try harder.

 

“I bet it is that punk’s fault, oh trust me I have seen you sneak him in. I’m not blind Armin, this is my house.”

 

With that I stood up, chair falling behind me with a loud bang making everyone jump. I clenched my hands into fists, opening my mouth to retort. Krista got up and tugged gently on my sleeve and I shuddered. My mother was watching me closely waiting to unleash her next rain of comments.  _ She’s not worth it _ . I closed my mouth back up and just stormed off.

  
  


Once back in my part of the house I angrily swiped my phone of the kitchen island. It was only eight at night. I glanced up as Krista quietly padded through my door closing it behind her.

 

“Would you want to go watch a movie with me?”

I asked and she looked a bit confused but nodded. Lifting my phone I hit the call button and tapped my foot waiting.

  
  
  


Once in the backseat of the familiar car I groaned and grabbed my head. Krista hurried in after me and eyed the driver.

 

“That bad huh?”

 

“Not funny Levi, please just drive.”

  
  


Levi didn’t argue as he pulled out from our driveway and towards town. Krista leaned over and nudged my arm. Her eyes were wide and she looked extremely confused. I instantly bit my lip feeling bad.

 

“Oh Krista I’m sorry, this is Levi.”

 

“Pleasure.”

  
  


I rolled my eyes and slapped him in the back of the head. He only scowled deeper and growled. Krista leaned over more to whisper in my ear.

 

“Is that the guy you have been talking about constantly?”

 

I instantly blushed and pushed her gently and she giggled.

“Not all the time…”

 

“Is he the punk your mum keeps complaining about?”

 

I hid my face in my hands and groaned nodding my head. This caused her to start laughing and when I looked up I saw Levi’s raised eyebrow in the rearview mirror. Krista recovered a little wiping at her eyes.

 

“Wait so hold on, you ditch our parents and drag me out on a date with your new boyfriend?”

 

“Oh my god Krista no!”

I squealed and tried to cover her mouth before she could say anything else. She just burst out laughing and I could hear Levi chuckle as well.

 

“He is not my boyfriend Krista!”

I whined my face flushed and I hid against her shoulder. I’m starting to regret putting these two in the same car. The rest of the journey was quiet, except the occasional giggle from Krista.

 

Once we arrived we just picked a random movie. Before I could get my money out Levi stepped ahead of me holding his card. I scowled and went to protest but he just held his hand up chatting to girl behind the counter. He turned back and handed me a tub of popcorn, I wanted to protest but they smelled good.

  
  


“This is a date remember? So I’m paying.”

He grinned and walked past me to grab a set of drinks. Krista elbowed me in the side and I sighed _. It’s so not a date _ . I muttered under my breath. I watched as she happily bounced over and accepted her cup from Levi. He held one out for me, I knew it was cola without even asking. I took it and balanced it together with my popcorns.

  
  


They decided I needed to sit in the middle so we could share the snacks. I didn’t even try to argue and smiled as Krista leaned onto my shoulder. The movie started and everything went dark and quiet. This was much better than a stuffy family dinner anyway.

  
  


I glanced over at Levi. His eyes were fixed on the screen, but it looked like he wasn’t watching. Maybe he had been busy and he just accepted because he felt he needed to. I lowered my eyes and looked at the popcorn. Cool fingers brushed softly against my cheek and I snapped my head up. Levi was looking at me, head slightly tilted as to ask if I was ok. I nodded quickly and he gave me a small smile and dropped his hand.

 

That was not the first small touch, he continued throughout the entire movie. Brushing hair out of my eyes, bumping into my thighs, fishing out popcorn. It was subtle and gentle but it could off been accidents. I chewed my lip trying to focus on the screen.

 

Once the movie ended and we walked out into the lobby Krista grabbed me and pulled me into the girl’s bathroom. How they kept getting away with this I wouldn’t know. She gazed up at me with a wide grin.

 

“You are so dating. He wouldn’t stop touching you!”

I sighed and pat her on the head.

 

“Krista we are just friends I’m sorry.”

 

She hummed and shrugged walking out the door again. I looked up in the mirror, my cheeks were still slightly flushed. Levi knew I was broken and messed up. I don’t even know why he still was around. I had just accepted everything that was thrown at me. At least tonight hadn’t turned out all that bad. I rubbed my neck and hurried out to meet up with them.   
  


Krista had called her parents. They looked less than pleased when they pulled up in front of the building to pick her up. She kissed my cheek and made me promise to call before she disappeared into the car.

  
  


“I like her. So your place or mine?”

Levi crept up on me jolting me out of my thoughts. I blinked at him taking a bit too long to answer.

 

“I don’t feel like going anywhere yet…”

I mumbled and sighed. He just nodded and grabbed my hand and started walking. I stumbled, but hurried after him.

 

“Levi?”   
  


“I know just the thing.”

  
  


There was a tiny smile on his lips as we walked down the dark streets next to each other. Turning the corner I saw the lights on inside a old looking café. To my surprise we entered and Levi walked up to the counter. He started chatting with the tiny strawberry blonde behind the counter. I shuffled awkwardly behind him.

 

“Here Armin.”

I looked up and to my disbelief he was holding out a big bowl of ice cream. He grinned knowingly and walked over to sit by one of the small tables.

 

“Levi you do know it's November right?”   
  


“I know but this is delicious now come sit down.”

 

I sat down opposite to him and he held out a spoon for me. He had his own and waited for me to take a chunk. Of course it tasted amazing, anything Levi eats does. We quietly ate out of the bowl until the small figure appeared and I looked up.   
  


“Levi who’s this?”   
  


“Mm… Oh, this is Armin.”   
  


“Ah nice to meet you!”

 

Levi seemed almost distracted and he didn’t pay the girl much attention as she put down two cups of tea on the table. I couldn’t help but snicker quietly.

 

“Levi did you really order tea together with ice cream?”   
  


“I know right, he does this every time!”

 

He eyed both of us rather unhappily and scowled picking his cup up.

“Shut up.”

 

I started laughing and shook my head, massive smile on my face. Who orders ice cream in the middle of winter, and with tea to go with it? Levi just muttered and quietly continued on his side of the bowl. He seemed almost entranced by the desert gently scooping up just the right amount. We eventually finished and just sat back just relaxing.

  
  


when we finally got up and headed back outside, it had gotten rather cold so I walked closer to Levi. He didn’t seem to mind too much. I chewed my lip and glanced at him from under my fringe.

 

“Levi?”   
  


“Mm?”   
  


“When is your birthday? Did I miss it?”

 

He shook his head looking up at the night sky. A sigh escaped his lips before he looked back down at me grabbing my hand.

“December 25th.”   
  


“Really?”

 

I blinked, surprised, but there was no reason for him to lie about it. Levi looked back up at the sky again and nodded. After that we walked quietly back to the car and got in. We ended up at his place, curled up on the couch with another cup of tea.

 

  
  
  


***

 

 

 

I spent almost every day at Levi’s after that, to afraid or ashamed to run into my mother. His living room had been flooded with my notes and books. He would always join me, sitting quietly working on his laptop. Or on a few occasions with his own notes. I had just about managed to get most my grades up and I felt exhausted.

 

  
  


Last test for the semester where finally done and I was sat on the couch leaning my head back. Levi came up and ran a hand through my hair.

 

“Come on you deserve a break.”

 

For once his face looked relaxed and he smiled down at me. I sent him a tired smile back, before closing my eyes.

  
  


“What are you doing for Christmas Armin?”

 

I groaned and laid down on my side pulling the blanket over me. Levi knew I had tried to avoid my mother. I’m not even sure she wants me there for Christmas, considering I was a failure in her eyes.   
  


“Hange will be over here for dinner, will you stay with us?”

 

When I opened my eyes again he was leaning above me, his fringe falling in his eyes. I smiled and without thinking reached out to brush it away. My fingers hit his soft hair and I froze, my eyes going wide. I pulled my hand back quickly like I got burnt and cradled it to my chest.

  
  


“Yeah… I’ll stay… sorry.”

I mumbled looking at the floor. Levi didn’t say anything else and I heard him walk over to the kitchen to make some tea.  _ Why was I even here? Did Levi really want me here?  _ I looked at my hand and then touched my cheek with it. His hair is really soft.

  
  


  
  
***   
  
  
  
  
  


Christmas day rolled around quicker then I realized. The calm of Levi’s apartment was interrupted at nine am sharp, when Hange burst in singing holiday songs at the top of her lungs. Levi just rolled his eyes and returned to cooking like nothing happened. I had however spotted the other figure shuffling in the doorway and froze on my spot. Hange stopped in her tracks looking at me then back towards the door.

 

“Oh Armin I’m sorry! This is Moblit! Don’t worry he’s harmless!”

 

She beamed and walked over to pull the poor man into the house. At least both of us looked just as terrified. Levi glanced over his shoulder with a scowl.

 

“Hange, you could've warned me. Now I might not have enough food!”

He sighed rather unhappy and glared at her. Hange just grinned and stalked over to the kitchen with a bag of gifts. I moved over on the couch and Moblit sat down on the other end. I eyed him suspiciously.

 

“Levi you are getting so old!”

Hange laughed and hugged around him causing him to growl and swat at her.

 

“I swear Hange, I will hit you with the spatula again.”

 

The night continued much in the same manner with Hange and Levi throwing insults and jokes around. Eventually I had been able to relax more. It turns out Moblit worked at the same Lab as Hange and they were  _ “Sorta”  _ Dating, to quote.   
  


We sat down to watch a movie and Levi was using me as some kind of human shield from Hange. He had pulled me close to his side and kept sending glares every time she tried to jump him. It wasn’t uncomfortable, it actually felt rather nice to be close to someone. I sighed and leaned into him as the movie started.

  
  
  


 

***

 

 

 

Levi and I had been invited out for New Year’s but none of us felt like going out. Levi complained it was too cold and he didn’t want to freeze his toes of. So we stayed in and cooked something nice and had some wine just the two of us. Everything was so quiet and it felt nice.

 

“Come on.”

I looked up as Levi got up from the couch were we had been watching the countdown. I took his hand. He quietly pulled me through the apartment and out on the balcony. I was happy I had brought the green blanket, he was right it was freezing outside.

 

My eyes lit up as the fireworks started and I gasped. Levi chuckled and wrapped his arm around my waist pulling some of the blanket over him. When they stopped we just stood there for a while. Cold air nipping at our faces. Levi's strong arm around me, holding me securely. 

  
  


“Tch.”

He shuffled and sighed.

“Armin, if you really don’t want to go back to your house the guest room is yours.”

 

I blinked and looked at him wide eyed. Was he really offering me to move in? When I didn’t answered right away he frowned and pushed my fringe back.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“No, that sounds perfect.”

I shook my head and smiled brightly. This year was already starting out so much better than the last. So much had happened, I can’t believe it’s only been a year since I first walked into that library. I laughed a little and Levi hummed.

 

“You know you scared me crap out of me the first time I saw you?”

 

“Yeah, don’t interrupt me while cleaning.”

We both started laughing and watched as a couple stray fireworks lit up the skies.

  
  
  
  


 

***

 

 

 

I was freaking out pacing back and forth in the apartment clutching my phone tightly. Levi had started working with Hange a couple weeks back. Ten more minutes and he would be home. My breathing was extremely rapid and strained from the pacing.

 

“Armin. Hey, Armin.”

I hadn’t noticed the door but now Levi was in front of me holding my shoulders to make me stop. He looked right into my eyes and I blinked trying to focus.

 

“Hey breathe please, what’s wrong?”

His brows furrowed. I shook my head and my eyes teared up.

 

“R-reunion.”

I stuttered then closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Levi’s hand rubbing small circles on my shoulders.

“Krista called, they are having a party for spring break and she begged me to come.”

  
  


You could see when it clicked and Levi scowled deeply. His eyes went stone cold and he stared into space.

 

“He is gonna be there isn’t he.”

I nodded and his hands dropped from my shoulder, his fist flexing.

  
  


“Levi please come with me.”

I pleaded but there was no need really, I could tell he wouldn’t let me go alone. A part of me probably should worry about the fact he looked like he wanted to murder someone. But another part of me wished he would throw a couple punches.

 

 

 

  
  
***   
  
  
  


 

 

I was curled up on the seat in Levi’s car, staring out the window as we came closer to the lake. Krista had been so excited to see us again. I was horrified about seeing Jean.

 

“We can still turn back.”

Levi glanced over at me before reaching out and touching my cheek. I shook my head, somehow I needed this. I needed to see him again. Everyone else would be there as well, there would be plenty of people. I chewed my lip as we took the last turn leading up to the cabin.

I had barely made it out of the car when I heard shrieking and was attacked by Sasha. She hugged me tight and spun me around in circle.

 

“Oh my Gosh! Armin! I missed you so damn much!”

She pretty much yelled in my ear and I laughed a little hugging her back. Levi eyed her cautiously.

 

“Oh great, it's Hange junior.”

He said sarcastically and I snickered, it was so true. Sasha stopped spinning and Looked at Levi.

 

“Oh my, Armin, you brought a hottie!”

She clapped her hands together causing both me and Levi to groan.

 

After that introduction Levi put on his normal impassive face as we walked inside. Sasha was babbling about something when Mikasa spotted us. She didn’t say anything just walked over and hugged me close. Her eyes travelled to Levi and they nodded to each other. She then cocked her head towards the kitchen.   
  


 

I froze, I could already hear him. Jean’s low laugh was getting louder and it bounced around in my head. Mikasa stepped away from me, Levi’s hand came to rest on my lower back. We ignored the kitchen and walked through the living room and out on the deck. I took a couple deep breaths and sat down on one of the couches.

  
  


Levi’s hand rubbed my shoulder, I heard him ask something but I couldn’t make out what it was. My eyes were too focused on the lake, willing myself to look anywhere but back in the house.

  
  
  


 

“Armin.”

A deep voice snapped me out of my trance and when I looked up I stared right into Jean’s eyes. I didn’t flinch, I didn’t cry.

I clutched my hand and raised it to my chest. My stomach flipped gazing into his eyes, that’s when I finally was able to move. I lunged forward and stumbled back into the house. I somehow found my way into the main bedroom and into the joining bathroom.

 

_ I love him. _

 

No, I don’t love him. I only love the attention. The cuddles and touches. I always ask for too much. I flung myself at whoever would give it to me, and now my body couldn’t even help but want him.  _ Disgusting _ . 

  
  


I sobbed sinking down on the floor holding my head. I never loved him. Still when I saw him my body shook with need for him to pull me into a hug. I’m really messed up.

 

“Armin…”

Cool fingers made their way to my cheek and I swatted them away.

 

“Stop! I can’t!”

I cried out and shook my head, tears streaming down my face.

“I’m disgusting!”

“Don’t… I’m too clingy…”

My body was shaking too much to form words. Levi’s hands came to stroke my hair and I tried to flinch away again.

  
  


“Armin please look at me.”

 

I shook my head chipping for air. His hand found its way to my cheek wiping away tears. I couldn’t even resist leaning into the touch and another sob tore through my body.

 

“It’s ok to want touches Armin, I can tell how much you are always trying to hold back.”

He shuffled to sit down on the floor by me.

“There is nothing wrong with wanting human contact. To be held.”

  
  


I shook my head trying to protest only leading to him pulling me into a tight hug. My face pressed up into his soft hoodie.

 

“What is not ok, is letting someone hold you back from who you really are.”

  
  
  
  


He went quiet after that, rubbing my back refusing to let me go. Eventually I stopped shaking and I pulled back a little too dry my eyes with my sleeves. I blinked looking up at Levi with red swollen eyes. His expression was so soft and concerned, it almost made me cry again.

 

“Levi, I think I can’t love.”

 

He only chuckled softly and stroked my cheek.

“You know how hard it was to not punch him in the face when you ran off?”

 

I laughed and shook my head.

“Levi please don’t. But thank you. It means a lot knowing you would if I asked.”

 

“By the looks of it, Mikasa would hold him down for me.”

He grinned and I rolled my eyes slapping his chest softly. Levi pulled me into another hug and I nuzzled into this shoulder.

  
  
  


I don’t know how long we sat there but a soft knock interrupted us. I rubbed my eyes one last time before getting up and opening the door. Krista was looking at me with her big blue worried eyes and I had to smile.

 

“Armin are you ok? Sorry I didn’t see you get here.”

She rambled and gestured wildly. Levi pushed off the floor behind me and put his hand on my back.

 

“I’m alright now Krista.”

I smiled and pulled her in for a hug. She looked a bit surprised but hugged me back eyeing Levi and smiled.

 

“Oh, hello again Levi.”

She giggled and I took her hand dragging her through the bedroom before she could say anything else. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before correcting my clothes and stepped out the room.

  
  
  


The rest of the day went a lot better. It was nice to catch up with everyone. Jean tried to come up to me a couple times but I ignored him in favor of talking with everyone else. There was this other guy who kept following Jean around like a puppy. His sweet face was covered in freckles and I chewed my lip.

  
  
  
  
  


 

Once Levi and I got in the car to leave I sunk down in my seat and groaned.   

 

“That was…”

I laughed and shook my head, everything felt lighter somehow.

 

“Do you regret coming?”

I turned my head to look at Levi who was gazing out the windscreen. He seemed to of finally relaxed as he turned the key and got ready to drive of. .

 

“No I needed this.”

I smiled genuinely and turned to wave at Krista and Sasha who were waving like idiots outside the cabin.

“I needed to see him and know I would be ok.”

 

 

Levi nodded and for the rest of the journey we listened to music not really talking much. 

 

I would be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alot happened I know, I'm sorry!
> 
> I had planned for the meeting with Jean to be more dramatic, but in the end it fell a little short.
> 
>  
> 
> Ty everyone for reading and giving me kudos. It means alot.   
> And ty for all your comments too :)


	10. Melting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello so I'm back with another chapter ^_^  
> We are drawing close to the end now, sadly <3
> 
> There will be one more chapter after this, then chapter 12 is more like a alternative ending, but not really.  
> lol i know it don't make sense right now but it will later :P  
> Maybe more like the writers ending, rather than how i probably should've ended it XD
> 
>  
> 
> Heads up:  
> just as a heads up, there will be mentions of car accidents, deaths and drunk driving in this chapter.

After spring break the nightmares returned with full force. I should off predicted it, but it didn’t even cross my mind. The first night I had woken up screaming, with tears down my cheek and a concerned Levi in the doorway. I didn’t even need to say anything, he was already wrapping me into a hug, pulling the covers around us. I was trembling and struggled to breathe, but I wasn’t alone.

  
  
  
  


More test were coming up, I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I was so tired of doing economics. With a sigh I sat back and stretched, looking out the window. Levi and I were down at our normal café. His phone buzzed and we both looked up. He picked it up and then let out a deep sigh.

 

“Hange wants coffee.”

 

I groaned and took my glasses of, I was too tired for this. Levi got up grumbling something about more tea and I nodded agreeingly. Five minutes later we both had our new cups and Hange burst through the door, happy as ever.

 

“Helloo, My cupcakes!”

 

“Hange indoor voice… Please.”

Levi scowled sideways at her, taking a sip from his tea. She looked between us, a knowing grin creeping on her lips.

 

“What?”

I had frozen with the cup halfway to my lips, that smirk was never good. She barked out a laugh and nodded towards my hand. I blinked following her eyes. My breath hitched as I spotted it. My small fingers gripping around the rim of my cup, like Levi.  _ When did I start doing that?  _ My mouth fell open. Hange snickered and turned to go order her coffee.

  
  


“What’s wrong Armin?”

When I finally looked up Levi’s brows were furrowed and he tilted his head. My eyes were locked on his hand, so gently holding his cup. Finally I shook my head and managed to find my words.

  
  


“N-nothing’s wrong sorry.”

I smiled and put my cup down, then sighed looking back at my notes.

“I’m sick of economics…”

  
  


“Why don’t you change mayors?”

Hange was back with a chair and plopped down next to us. Levi looked up with a raised eyebrow like he also wondered this. My mouth fell open again. I hadn’t even considered it.

 

“I…”

 

“What do you want to do!?”

Hange was clapping her hands bouncing in her chair. I sighed rubbing the bridge of my nose.

 

“History…”

I sighed my hands dropping into my lap. Even if I changed now, I would need to work my grades up. I’m struggling as is to make these essays.

 

“Erwin is doing history! I’m sure he can help you out!”

Her eyes were sparkling and she was leaning over the table a little bit too close to my face.

 

“Hange I would need money too. I’m having a hard enough time with this.”

I gestured over the pile of notes next to me.

 

“There’s scholarships Armin! You are smart enough!”

 

I ignored her yelling and looked out the window. There is no way I can pull this off. I should just finish economics. I fidgeted in my seat pulling on my sleeves.

 

“Armin if you look into this now, you can switch for the fall semester. You got all summer.”

Levi said quietly and put his cup down. He was right, of course he was. I hummed and looked back out the window again.

 

 

 

 

***

  
  


 

 

Why did I decide to do this? After talking to a whole lot of professors I had dove straight into my books. I hadn’t seen anything else then black and white text for a week. I sat back on our couch and rubbed my forehead. Levi should be back soon, on cue my stomach growled and I laughed a little. A minute later I heard the rustling of the front door and looked over.

 

“Armin take a break I got something for you.”

 

“Hmm? I just finished this essay, what is it?”

I tilted my head curiously and watched as Levi took of his shoes. He reached into his bag and pulled out something before walking over to me. It looked like a piece of clothing wrapped in plastic.

I held my hands out and took it from him. The two crossed wings on the soft brown made my heart skip a beat. I stared up at him with wide eyes.

 

“T-this is…”

 

“I talked to my contacts. You are now working at the main library.”

Levi just shrugged and walked out in the kitchen and turned the kettle on. Words were stuck in my throat and I had to swallow hard a couple times.

  
  


“I-Isn’t that your job?”

I looked up at him bewildered, my eyes probably looked like they were gonna fall out.

 

“I earn enough at the lab.”

He looked over and raised an eyebrow.

“Though I swear, if you mess up my order or don’t clean properly I will personally kick you out of there.”

 

I was still having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. I looked down at my lap, the unopened sweater still sitting there. Levi chuckled when I all of sudden scrambled off the couch and into the bathroom. I came back out a minute later.

 

“Tch, not bad-”

Levi nodded to himself, causing me to blush and shake my head.

“Why did they pick brown, it’s a shitty color.”

 

I laughed, I know he hated having to wear the college sweaters. I spun around holding my hands out.

“It fits.”

 

He nodded seemingly pleased. He held out a cup for me and we sat down at the table. Levi kept glancing at me, making my blush worse and I squirmed in my seat.

  
  


“Yeah you look better in your navy blue one.”

  
  


 

***

  
  


 

Summer was drawing close all too quickly. I had barely had anytime to even breathe, with studying and working. The library was amazing and I couldn’t thank Levi enough for this job. It was something so peaceful about being surrounded by books. Levi had made a joke that half my wardrobe was just college sweaters in all the colors of the rainbow.

  
  


Levi was holding me together somehow. He always has, and made sure I ate and slept. We would always camp out on his couch with our laptops. He would lean into me to, pointing out things my screen. Being this close felt so nice, all too often I found myself half asleep on his shoulder.

  
  
  


“Armin, come on you are falling asleep again.”

I startled and blinked, looking around. Levi smiled and his soft fingers moved through my fringe.

 

“What time is it?”

I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

 

“It’s only eight.”

 

I groaned and slumped down on his shoulder again. It’s too early to go to bed. Levi chuckled and put his laptop down and moved me so I was laying on his lap. His hands stroked my hair and I yawned again. I opened my eyes and looked right up in his. This felt too nice. Levi always did this stuff and I really enjoyed it.

My chest was fluttering and I chewed my lip. I knew this feeling.

  
  


I sat up quickly, pulling my legs up. Levi shifted behind me and I felt his hand on my shoulder.

 

“You ok?”

 

I nodded but leaned my forehead on my knees. Taking a shaky breath I turned and looked at him. His head was tilted questioningly with soft eyes. It always amazed me how his normally hard façade dropped as soon as he stepped in the door.

 

“Levi…”

I bit my lip and shook my head. A shiver spread down my spine as his hand moved to gently touch my cheek. I leaned into the touch and looked right into his eyes.

 

“What’s wrong?”   
  


“Nothing.”

  
  


I went to get up but Levi gently grabbed my sleeve and I stopped. My other hand clutched over my chest and I looked pleadingly at him. Had this been here all along? I didn’t know anymore. I locked my eyes with him again and leaned towards him. My hand moved through his undercut and it made him shudder.

 

“Levi… I think...”

Leaning closer our foreheads bumped together and I sighed softly. the pull was agonizing.

“I think I want to kiss you.”

 

His eyes widened just slightly but he didn’t say anything. My bottom lip trembled as I tried to make up my mind to push forward that last inch. His other hand found its way to my hip and he rubbed small soothing circles.

  
  


I closed my eyes and my head tilted by itself as I finally pressed my lips into his. Months, years of pressure and stress left my body with the one simple action. His hand pulled me a bit closer as he kissed me gently back. Lips so soft and warm against mine it had me melting. My entire body trembled and when I pulled back I was struggling to control my heart.

 

“Better?”

Levi said softly stroking my cheek. I nodded frantically, tears forming in my eyes and I laughed softly.

 

“I should've done that sooner.”

I smiled brightly and wiped my eyes. Levi just chuckled and pulled me down on his lap and into a hug.

 

“You weren’t ready, it’s ok.”

He rubbed circles on my back and I sighed contently. Everything felt lighter. My head that was normally so full of thoughts, could only focus on Levi’s slow breathing. Was this really ok though?

 

“Thank you Levi…”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Something had woken me up and I looked around in my room. Levi had been here when I fell asleep but now the room was empty. It’s only been a couple weeks since we first kissed and he still normally slept in his bed. I rubbed my eyes sitting up, that’s when I heard it again.

 

_ A Piano? _

 

I got up out of bed slowly putting on a pair of slippers. Levi must be making breakfast. When I stepped out of the bedroom he was nowhere to be seen and the kitchen was empty. Confused I turned to where the music was louder.

 

Levi’s bedroom door was peeked open and I knocked lightly before slowly pushing it open. It took me a moment to process what I was looking at. Levi was standing by a piano, I didn’t even know had been in there. His fingers flying quickly over the keys playing a very slow and sad song. I didn’t even know he could play. I walked over slowly. When I got closer and the light shifted I could see his swollen eyes and I blinked confused.  _ Had he been crying? _

  
  


“Levi?”

I spoke softly reaching out to touch his shoulder. He flinched and the music stopped but he didn’t look up at me. I reached up to brush his fringe out his eyes. He had most definitely been crying.

“I didn’t know you could play.”

 

His hands dropped from the keys, trembling and he sighed. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his hair.

 

“My mother taught me.”

He stated shortly before stretching his fingers and picking up the melody again. I watched him for a minute before dropping my arms. I hummed softly and reached down and joined him, playing the other half of the song. He missed a couple keys looking at me surprised.

 

“I was taught for twelve years.”

I said and then we quietly went back to playing. After the piece ended he inhaled shakily and looked at me.

  
  
  


“She died. My uncle was driving the car drunk and crashed into another vehicle. She died instantly…”

Levi was trembling but started up another song and I joined him in playing again.

  
  
  


“She was lucky…”

He continued quietly.

“My sister spent a month on life support before uncle gave up on her.”

  
  


We both had stopped again at this point and I pulled him into a hug. He slumped into me and I moved backwards so we could sit on the bed.

 

“It’s been years, but… Around this time… I just can’t…”

I hushed him and rubbed his back. I’m pretty sure he started crying again but I couldn’t see, his face were pressed into my shirt.

 

“Levi, Ssh it's ok you don’t have to explain.”

 

We sat quietly for half an hour until Levi sat up and gathered himself. I caressed his cheek softly and smiled.

“I didn’t even know we had a Piano.”

He let out a short laugh and smiled sadly.

  
  
  


We decided to stay home that day, ordered Chinese and watched bad movies. Levi had pulled me to his chest and kept nuzzling and kissing my hair.

When the movie ended he sighed and sat up a little.

 

“You know what.”

He picked me up and put me down on the seat next to him. I looked confused as he stood up.

“I’m moving that Piano out here.”

 

I just stared as he chuckled and smiled brightly down at me. The next hour was spent trying to maneuver the heavy piano out into its new spot in the livingroom. Levi looked content once it was in place. He glanced at me taking my hand and asking if we could play some more.

  
  
  
  


 

***

 

 

 

“Armin.”

 

“Mm?”

I leaned my head back on the couch watching as Levi came up behind me. He smiled and held out an envelope. I tilted my head and took it, flipping it over and staring at the familiar wings in the top corner.

 

“Open it already.”

Levi shuffled and leaned over the back next to me. My hands shook as I ripped it open and red through it.

 

“It’s all sorted… I can start the history major next semester…”

 

I could barely believe it. Levi chuckled and held my cheek.

“You worked hard enough for it.”

  
  


I nodded and smiled brightly and leaned forward, kissing him softly. I shrieked as Levi jumped over the back and pushed me down on the couch. We both laughed and I shook my head.

 

“I can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner…”

 

“We need to celebrate.”

 

I snickered and pushed at him playfully.

“You do realize that means Hange and alcohol right?”

 

“Ah Shit!”

Levi faked a horrified look that made me laugh again. I smiled up at him and shook my head.

 

“Thank you Levi.”

I held his cheek again, he smiled warmly and leaned down for another kiss. I heisted a little, was this really ok? Levi paused looking at me calmly. I chewed my lip and averted my eyes to look at the wall. He got of me so I could sit up but his hand rested on my cheek.

 

“Armin, it's ok.”

 

Of course he could see right through me, I couldn’t hide anything from him. I reached over and pretended to read the letter again. It was stupid, being scared of my own feelings. But what if I don’t really like him, what if I only want the contact. What if my feelings aren't real. 

 

“Come on, I’ll call Hange and Erwin and we can go out tonight yeah?”

Levi said gently squeezing my shoulder. I nodded but still couldn’t look up at him.

  
  
  
  
  


We ended up going out for dinner with Hange, Erwin and Moblit. It was better this way because there wouldn’t be so many drinks involved. Erwin kept rambling about how good the history program was but I wasn’t paying much attention. I kept pushing my food around my plate and stealing glances at Levi. Sighing I put my fork down and excused myself to the bathroom.

 

I was staring at myself in the mirror again mumbling softly when I heard the door push open. When I looked over I was surprised to see Moblit standing there. He paused watching me for a minute until my eyes went back to the mirror.

 

“Armin. You have feelings for Levi, right?

 

Moblit’s voice felt like a stab in the back and I lowered my eyes staring into the sink. He walked closer and put his hand carefully on my shoulder.

 

“Hange told me what happened, with that one guy.”

 

My stomach dropped, hand flying to my mouth and I had to try hard not to throw up. I wanted to be angry with her but I had no right. This had to stop, I shouldn’t be letting it get to me like this. I inhaled shakily and looked up at Moblit in the reflection.

 

“What is Love, how does one know how to define it. How do you know it’s real?”

 

I looked almost pleadingly at him and he only smiled softly.

 

“Armin, it’s not something easy explained. It’s a fleeting emotion of feeling content and happy. A way for people to put a name on a feeling they can’t explain. If you think too hard about it, it will slowly wither away, buried under a mountain of other emotions. It’s something you can’t always express but something you can always give. Something we can’t have without trying, but something we always crave. We just have to take the plunge and not be afraid to get hurt.”

 

I sighed and leaned forward gripping the counter. Moblit patted my shoulder one last time before turning and walking out of the bathroom. My body shivered, I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. Could I handle getting hurt again? Then again, when had Levi ever hurt me? Do I love him? Does he love me?

  
  


I opened my eyes again and gazed into them in the mirror. Somehow I looked determined and I nodded to myself. Levi wouldn’t of done all of this if he didn’t feel anything for me. I could do this.

 

When I sat back down at the table Hange grinned wide at me. I just rolled my eyes and reached over taking Levi’s hand under the table. He glanced over and smiled warmly and squeezed my hand softly.

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  


Had Levi always smelled this good? I swear this last week I had been hyper aware of every single movement he’s done. My eyes kept following him around the apartment. I knew exactly how his body moved when he made tea or cooked dinner.

 

Currently watching a movie, Levi had pulled me up close and I laid with my head on his chest. His steady heartbeat made it hard to hear the actors but I wasn’t paying attention anyway. He was drawing small patterns on my back with his slender fingers and it sent shivers down my spine. I tilted my head up, seeing that he was looking right at me and I blushed.

 

“You alright?”

 

He chuckled softly and I nodded, hiding my face in his shirt again. I heard him hum low and felt his hands travel gently down my sides. My breath hitched when I felt his cool skin make contact with mine under my shirt. His hands moved up and settled around my waist, thumbs circling slowly. 

 

“L-levi?”

My voice was shaky and I looked back up him, fringe falling in my eyes. He didn’t say anything just tilted his head slightly. I shifted upwards, my trembling fingers finding his cheek. Strong hands guided me the last bit and we crashed together in a hungry kiss. There was so much tension in my body and it all felt too much.

 

When we broke of my I leant my head on his shoulder panting slightly. Levi was humming softly and placing small kisses just behind my ear. He sat us up and I gasped low when our hips connected. My hands grabbed for the back of his shirt, clutching tightly. I whimpered softly nuzzling into his neck.

 

“Armin…?”

Levi’s low voice carried an unspoken question and I nodded my head quickly. I didn’t trust my legs at this point so I wrapped them around his waist and he picked me up. Hands gripping gently around my thighs.

  
  


 

We stumbled into the bedroom and Levi put me down on the bed. I watched wide eyed as he unbuttoned his shirt and let it drop to the floor. He sent me a small smirk walking around to his bedside drawer. I blushed and looked away when he bent over digging out whatever he was looking for.

 

The bed dipped and I felt his cool fingers back on my cheek. I smiled softly leaning into his touch and turned to gaze into his eyes. They were bright, laced with happiness and fondness. He didn’t break our eye contact until his lips found mine again. My hands rested on his lean chest, it felt cool but would soon heat up under my touch.  

  
  


My entire body was fluttering as I watched Levi move slowly to sit between my legs. His soft fingers danced over the hem of my shirt and I leaned up so he could pull it off. It dropped on the floor somewhere. I trembled as he kissed down my collarbone softly. My hands found their way into his hair, hesitantly running through his soft strands. Even though this wasn’t my first time doing something like this I felt extremely nervous and I bit my lip. A small gasp escaped me when his lips brushed down my chest, dangerously close to my nipple.

 

I looked down and groaned softly. He was gazing back up at me with hungry eyes before smiling playfully and flicking a tongue over said nipple. A shudder ripped through my body and I threw my head back.  _ Oh god _ . My arms flew up to cover my face to hide my blush and stop the moans that wanted to escape.

 

Levi’s fingers found mine and he gently untangled my arms and looked softly down at me.

 

“You ok? You don’t have to hide.”

 

I huffed up at him and pouted a little, making him chuckle. My hands dropped awkwardly on my sides and I fiddles with the covers. Levi grabbed my hands again and put them on his shoulders.

 

“You can touch me, don’t hold back.”

 

This of course made me blush more but I didn’t have much time to dwell on it since he had returned to placing kisses wherever he could reach. I was thankful I had changed into my shorts before watching the movie.

 

“L-levi…”

I stuttered as his hands went around my back, fingers dipping ever so slightly under the hem. He instantly paused and glanced up at me from under his fringe, his lips on my hip. I whimpered and squirmed slightly, stopping was the last thing I wanted him to do.

“You’re teasing… it’s not fair.”

 

He chuckled, sending vibrations through me. I arched ever so slightly as his fingers hooked into my shorts. My nails dug into this shoulder when he made sure to slowly move his palms over my skin. As if the hands didn’t do enough to make me pant softly, he placed soft kisses to the inside of my thighs once they were exposed. 

 

“Armin, you are gorgeous you know.”

 

Another small desperate whimper escaped me and I instinctively went to close my legs. Levi’s hands rested on the outside of my thighs. I can’t lie, part of me was terrified, but another part of me felt like it was on fire. I wanted more of his touches, and I didn’t want to be scared anymore. I hadn’t known my eyes were closed until I slowly opened them and looked down into Levis. He moved up, putting his hands on the sides of my head where I could see them.

 

“Armin, we don’t have to.”

 

“No, please.”

I shook my head and pulled him down kissing him, pushing my body flush against his.

“I-I need this… I want this.”

 

I mumbled and clung to him nuzzling into his neck, my nails digging back into his back. Levi proceeded to place small kisses to the bottom of neck before softly biting down. My body surged and I moaned into his shoulder.

“Please… Levi.”

  
  


“It’s ok I got you, I know.”

When he sat back up again I watched through hazy eyes as he reached over to the side. Next thing I knew his soft hand was coaxing my legs apart with the help of his lips. I let them drop without hesitation. His eyes dropped from mine to the view in front of him.

 

A small hiss escaped my lips as a cold wet finger circled around my entrance. Levi stopped and glanced up at me again. God I can’t stand how he looks up through his fringe like that. I reached down moving it so I could look him properly in the eyes.

 

“It’s ok… just… Ah!”

A rather loud moan ripped out of me as he used my distraction to enter. My hand dropped out of his hair and flew up to cover my mouth. I panted against it as he slowly worked the one finger. The pressure felt weird, but it thankfully didn’t hurt much. His one arm hooked around my leg and pulled me down closer. As I settled he placed a kiss right on the base of my cock. I gasped out his name softly and quickly understood why he added the extra action. A second digit prodded me gently. It stung and I whimpered.

 

“I know, it’s alright I got you.”

He looked up at me with those eyes again and I panted nodding. His lips moved up my length and my breathing picked up when his fingers did. The pain soon subsided and I panted low just watching Levi. He was still in his jeans, that’s gotta be uncomfortable.

 

“L-levi, your…”   
A surprisingly loud moan ripped out of me as his fingers shifted, curled. My hands dug into the sheets and I gasped not getting enough air.    
  
“Ah- please do that again.”   
Levi complied and i was gone. My eyes rolled back to gaze up at the ceiling, mouth falling open. I barely noticed when he added a third finger. 

  
  


I did however notice when all of the sudden I was empty. Confused I leaned up a little, just in time to see him shimmy out of his jeans. My chest was heaving heavily and I propped myself up on one elbow. I reached out with a trembling hand and laced my fingers in his hair. Levi looked up at me questioningly, I smiled softly back and trailed my fingers down his check. He kissed my palm softly before taking my hand and leaning up to place a kiss on my lips.

 

“You good?”

 

He whispered softly against my cheek and it sent another shiver down my spine. I groaned softly and couldn’t help but grind up against him.

 

“Not if you don’t hurry up.”

I panted with my hands clasped in his hair. He chuckled quietly and then disappeared from my view again. With half lidded lazy eyes I watched as he got rid of his last clothing.

The tiny package in his hand caught my attention. This was really happening. I held my breath watching as he tore the plastic. How I could possibly blush more right now I don't know but it happened. My arm went over my face again and I giggled, there was too many emotions swimming around and I couldn’t contain all of them.

 

The bed shifted and I peeked out only to look straight into Levi’s mischievous eyes.

 

“What are you laughing at?”

 

“N-nothi.. Ah.”

I moaned softly into his mouth when his lips found mine again. My body jolted when I felt the pressure against my opening again. Levi ran his tongue over my bottom lip, making mine part slightly.

 

I broke the kiss throwing my head back with a groan as he entered me. Levi paused, I was both grateful and extremely frustrated at the same time.

 

“L-levi it’s alright… please.”

 

I pleaded, I wanted this so bad. I want him inside me, to melt me and make me feels things I never have. Levi was going ever so slowly, the room filled with my pants and quiet moans. When he finally bottomed out I let out a ragged breath and looked up at him. His breathing was labored and he was lent forward gazing back down at me.

 

“Levi.”

 

He hummed knowingly and rolled his hips ever so slightly. My hands dropped to my sides again as my head lolled back. Every slight movement Levi did made my body shudder with pleasure and I gave up trying to hold back my moans.

 

I had to look up when I felt him move almost all the way out. I was about to protest as he thrust right back in, hitting straight into my prostate. My body arching up to meet him, mouth half open.

 

“Le-vi-ah..!”

 

“Mm? Right there?”

He didn’t even give me a chance to answer before doing it again. After that he settled into a pace, over and over again. With this I was gone, my coherent thoughts being slowly pounded out of me.

All I could focus on was his quiet noises, small grunts and groans, and the pressure that was now building in my body. Small dots where dancing at the edges of my vision as it grew, coiling tightly in the deepest parts of me. A low chanting of Levi’s name was flying of my lips and it seemed to spur him on. How going faster was even possible I didn’t know.

  
  


I was trembling, pressure almost painful and tears pricked in my eyes. Until all of sudden it was gone, released over my stomach. I gasped quietly and a shudder ripped through my body. My hands found my face where big tears were streaming down my face. I whipped at them frantically and let out a quiet sob.

 

“Armin, hey, you ok?”

Levi’s concerned face appeared above me and I nodded.

  
  


“Levi…?”

I choked out, still wiping at my face.

“Is it meant to feel this good?”   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy things <3
> 
>  
> 
> Ty for all your kudos and comments <3


	11. I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya <3
> 
> So here we go, another chapter for you all!  
> See the endnotes please, I got some stuff to say, but for now i want you to enjoy this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Heads up:  
> This chapter contain some minor violence.

How we made it to the shower I don’t know. My legs felt like jelly and I just wanted to sleep. I yawned and slumped onto Levi.

 

“Trust me you want to do this now.”

He chuckled low, I groaned softly and nuzzled into his chest. I’m not gonna deny it, it felt nice having him clean me down. Long fingers rubbing shampoo into my hair and gently rinsing us of.

 

Levi wrapped me in a towel and told me to go wait on the bed. I happily wobbled over and flopped down. I turned to my side and grabbed a pillow hugging it close. With sleepy eyes I watched him come out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist and I blushed softly. The bed dipped behind me and Levi’s arms wrapped me into a hug. Soft whispers of praise in my ears. I sighed delighted and soon drifted off to sleep.

  
  
  
  
  


When I blinked my eyes open again light was filtering in through the window. I stretched and instantly winched at the pain in my body. I huffed and sank back down on the sheets.

 

“Told you it was better to shower last night.”

 

I rolled my eyes and turned to look at the cutest sight. Levi was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, fringe all over the place. I giggled and he sent me a small glare.

 

“Are you making fun of me?”

 

“Your bedhead is cute.”

I snickered. He muttered and pulled me into his chest, placing small kisses on the back of my neck. It tickled and I squirmed laughing softly.

  
  


“How did this happen?”

 

“Hmm? What?”

Before I could turn to properly ask what he meant, his finger trailed down just next to my spine and I shivered. I took a moment to stare at the wall, chewing my lip. His finger kept trailing the thin 3-inch long, faded scar that ran from my nape and down next to my spine.

 

“I was in an accident.”

 

Levi shuffled and turned me so he could look at my face, his brows slightly furrowed. I sighed and caressed his cheek softly. He wasn’t going to be happy with that vague answer. 

  
  


“It was the summer before I turned 12, me and my family were on vacation, well on our way there. Someone hit our car. I spent a couple weeks in hospital but we all made it out alright.”

Levi had tensed up. That’s exactly why I had tried not to tell him the whole story. I knew it would stir his memories.

  
  


“My mother got even worse after that.”

I laughed bitterly and sighed.

“I didn’t even get to see the ocean, what a bummer.”

  
  


Levi snorted and shook his head, but was smiling again at least. He nuzzled into my neck placing small kisses.

 

“I’ll take you to the ocean.”

 

“You better.”

I smiled and poked him in the rib and he scowled at me, but ran a gentle hand through my hair.

  
  


“Can you stand? I’ll make breakfast.”

 

I snorted, but wasn’t actually sure about the standing part.

  
  
  
  


 

***

  
  
  
  


 

Propped up against Levi with my laptop on my knees we both jumped as someone banged on the door. We both sighed heavily and I moved to let him get up. There was only one person who knocked like that.

 

“Haaaaiii!!”

Hange burst out into the apartment soon as Levi opened the door and skidded to a stop by the couch.

“Creampuff!”

 

She threw her arms around me in a crushing hug. Once I manage to squirm out of her grip I got up and walked over to where Levi was leaning on the counter in the kitchen. I smiled softly and brushed my fingers over his arm before opening the fridge. Hange sat down at the island, elbows on the surface and face propped in her hands. When I turned back she had a massive knowing grin on her face. I blinked, confused.

 

“You two had sex.”

She said bluntly and my face immediately flushed red. Levi who had been making tea hissed as he missed the cup, hot water sloshing over his left hand.

  
  


“SHIT! Hange for god sake!”

He growled and bolted to the sink shoving his hand under the cold water. She threw her head back laughing maniacally. I hurried over and took Levi’s wrist, it didn’t look like he got burnt that bad. We both looked up when a loud thud interrupted Hanges cackle. I rolled my eyes, she actually fell of the stool from laughing too much.

 

“Please I don’t want to have to drive you both to the ER.”

I shook my head. Hange held a thumbs up still on the floor and I laughed a little.

 

“I’m fine.”

Levi muttered and turned the tap of.

  
  
  


Turns out Hange had come around to hand me sheet with books that Erwin thought I should study before school started up in a couple weeks. I nodded and read through the list carefully while sipping on my tea. Levi had retreated to the couch, grumpily wrapped up in his green blanket. Hange babbled on for another hour or so before she decided to head out. Once she was safely locked out Levi pulled me into a hug. I smiled and leaned into him.

 

“Sorry she’s just…”

 

“She’s Hange, its ok. I really don’t mind”

I said softly with a smile and pushed his fringe out of his eyes. He seemed to relax but held me for a while longer.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

The semester started and I was overjoyed, sure I had a lot of school work. I was trying my damned hardest to catch up for lost time. But I was happy. I kept rambling to Levi about everything while he cooked dinner.

  
  


Levi was busy doing his classes and working with Hange at the Lab. He seemed pretty pleased with how things were going as well. I had settled in nicely at the main library and it earned me more money than I thought. He insisted I saved it all.

  
  
  


“Hey come on you need a break.”

Levi snuck up on me and snaked his arms around my waist. I swatted playfully at his hands.

 

“Levi I’m at work!”

I shook my head but leaned into his hug. He kissed my hair softly.

“Ok, let me just put these last ones away.”

  
  


I picked up a book and furrowed my brows, pushing my glasses up my nose. Even when squinting I couldn’t make out the text properly and I sighed.

 

“Armin?”

 

“I think I need new glasses.”

 

Levi chuckled and took the book gently from my hand and easily slotted it where it belonged.

 

“Now lunch break.”

 

I groaned and rolled my eyes but followed him to the back offices. I had gotten my own desk and Levi looked horrified when he saw the amount of books and notes on it. He scowled at me and I had to laugh. After making enough room for our lunch he settled down.

  
  
  
  
  


 

***

  
  
  
  
  


 

September turned into October. I was happily making plans with Krista and the others to come up for Halloween. I know it was almost four weeks left but I wanted to be prepared. Levi dreaded having a bunch of ‘Brats’ in his apartment for the weekend but I rolled my eyes. They were older than me after all. My phone started ringing again and I flung myself over to get it.

  
  


“Armin! Where on earth are you!?”

 

My heart dropped after hearing my mother’s voice over the line.

 

“Mom, I told you, I moved in with Levi.”

The line went quiet and I could almost hear her face erupt with pure anger.

“Levi!? A guy? You moved in with a guy?”

 

“Mom, let me…”   
  


“My friend called too, you switched majors? Do you not realize how much work we put into your schooling Armin!”

 

“I wanted to do History from the start!”

 

It went quiet again and I held my breath. When my mother spoke up again her voice had dropped one octave and it was laced with anger and disgust.

 

“I’m not paying for this. You hear me. No son of mine would do this to me.”

  
  
  


The line went dead and I stared in disbelief at my phone for a minute before blinking. Then my brain caught up and my body went rigid. My vision got blurry, heart pounding in my ears. I couldn’t breathe.

 

“Hey, ssh, Armin.”

I don’t even know where Levi came from but all of sudden his cool hands where on my cheeks and I tried to focus on his eyes. Slowly he came into focus, the living room still a blurred mess but at least I could see him.

 

“You’re ok.”

His fingers caressed me softly. I trembled and tried to blink out the tears that threatened to fall. It didn’t work and they rolled down my cheeks only to be wiped away by Levi.

 

“M-my mother…”

I had to stop and clear my throat. Levi moved to sit next to me, pulling me into a hug.

“S-she called, and cut me off.”

  
  


Somehow as I said the words my entire body relaxed and I felt pounds lighter. I tilted my head and looked into Levi’s cold eyes. My hands moved to settle in his undercut and I laughed once with a shaky voice.

 

“Is it wrong that I somehow feel better?”

I shook my head not really understanding why. This meant my whole life just got a hell of a lot harder. I might not even be able to continue studying. Even so, somehow it felt right.

 

“No. It’s not wrong Armin.”

Levi’s expression softened and he nuzzled into my hair.

“We can make this work, I promise.”

  
  


I nodded into his chest and sighed contently. His hands traveled down my back to rest just above my jeans. I bit my lip and looked up at him through my lashes and fringe. He tilted his head curiously.

 

“Would it be wrong to celebrate with sex?”

I almost had to giggle at his stunned expression before it melted into a grin. He shook his head and leaned in to kiss me deeply.

  
  
  
  
  


 

***

  
  
  
  


 

“Armin come on it's time to get ready.”

Levi appeared in front of the coffee table and I sent him a glare before looking back down at my notes.

 

“Levi I have to finish this for the scholarship.”

I muttered and tried to find where I had been. I heard him sigh softly and walk around to sit next to me. My phone appeared in my view and I frowned.

 

“Levi…”

 

“Armin, it's Halloween. Your friends will show up here any minute.”

 

“Oh…”

 

My jaw dropped and I put my pen down. I guess I had somehow lost track of the days again. Essay on top of essay keeping me busy all day, combined with work and lectures. After a summer of calm and my mother cutting our ties I had dove head into my books.

“I’m sorry.”

I averted my eyes and got up, slowly gathering my things. Even though I was trying so hard I still messed up. Once done I headed into the bedroom to find some new clothes. Levi followed me and I sighed holding a shirt in my hand.

 

“Armin, are you going to be ok?”

 

I nodded slowly and started to get changed. The doorbell went off and Levi disappeared out the room.

  
  
  


“Levi!”

 

I smiled a little hearing Krista’s soft voice in our apartment. I don’t even remember when I saw her last. Once fully dressed I walked out with a plastered smile on my lips.

 

“Armin!”

I barely had time to react before she was on top of me in a tight hug. She bounced happily and I patted her head. When I looked up I saw Mikasa and Sasha hovering curiously by the couch. I walked over and gave them both a hug.

 

“I missed you all so much, thank you for coming.”

This time I smiled genuinely and everyone seemed to relax.

  
  


“So who’s ready to go out?”

Levi was leaning on the wall by the front door dangling his keys. Krista and Sasha squealed and hurried over. Mikasa sent him a look before grabbing my hand and pulling me with her.

  
  
  


“I can’t believe you are turning twenty Armin.”

Krista giggled and elbowed me where we sat in our regular booth at the bar.

 

“I know right, he’s finally growing up.”

Sasha snickered with a grin.

 

I rolled my eyes and playfully smacked both of their arms. None of us had a costume really but we were all nicely dressed up. On my prompt Levi had pulled out that red west from last year. He did however say that if the cat ears showed up again he would go home.

  
  
  


“Armiiin!!”

We all looked up and saw Hange storm into the bar with a massive gift bag and I laughed. She’d ‘borrowed’ a lab coat again but I swear this year she looked more insane than ever. She sat down and Levi scowled at her.

 

“I brought cake!”

She nodded proudly and put the bag down, indeed pulling out a cake. Krista clapped her hands and I think Sasha was drooling.

The night turned out rather crazy. Levi had his hands full trying to contain both Hange and Sasha. They both probably had a little too many drinks but it was hilarious to watch them. Mikasa stayed by my side the entire night, not drinking anything. I know she was worried about me but I tried to get her to relax just a little.   
  


Surprisingly Erwin and Krista had gotten along rather well and was talking about all kinds of stuff. The highlight though was when they decided to try and dance. Just the height difference itself was hilarious, but they somehow pulled it off.

  
  


 

 

***

 

 

 

 

Life was moving quickly, I didn’t mind though because things were ok. Before I knew it, it was already mid-December.  Levi had been arguing on the phone with Hange that he didn’t want a birthday party. I snickered and went to get the mail.

  
  


When I returned my hands were shaking holding a familiar white envelope. Two small wings in the corner staring up at me. Levi noticed and hurried to finish the call.

  
  


“Levi…”

I looked up at him but he was already rushing over and grabbed it gently from me.

 

“Want me to?”

 

I nodded and watched as he flipped it, entranced as he worked on opening it. His eyes scanned the letter and a small smile slipped onto his lips. I exhaled shakily and reached out to take it.

 

“I can continue? I got the scholarship?”

My voice was trembling. Levi wrapped me into a hug nodding.

 

“You can continue. Everything is fine.”

The letter dropped when I hugged him tightly and laughed happily. 

 

 

Finally, finally things were going my way. I could do this.

  
  


 

 

***

  
  


 

I was half way into my Christmas dinner when the doorbell chimed. Levi’s head snapped up and Hange looked confused between the both of us.

 

“Levi, who’s that?”

My heart was racing, Levi’s eyes were ice cold when he got up from the table. He clearly didn’t expect someone.

  
  


“Is it Erwin?”

Hange leaned sideways trying to see the front door. I shook my head, he was with his parents. I turned in my chair so I could see as well.

  
  


“Open the door Levi!”

A voice came through the door. Levi froze with his hand halfway to the handle and sent a look back to me. His eyes filled with something I’ve never seen before. I blinked confused. What was even more surprising was Hanges reaction. I never seen her move so quickly, now standing in front of me, shielding me from the door.

  
  


“Hange wh-?”

She hushed me and I put a hand in front of my mouth. I peeked around her to watch as Levi pushed the front door open. A tall lanky man stood outside and now moved to stand in the doorframe. He towered over Levi and looked down at him from under a scruffy looking hat. Everything about this man seemed unkempt.

 

I could see it from here, familiar metal eyes staring right into Levi’s. It sent a shudder down my spine.

 

“Happy 25’th on the 25’th Levi.”   
  


“What the hell do you want Kenny.”

  
  


Levi’s voice was toxic and I saw the Man, Kenny, shift and cross his arms.

 

“Am I not allowed to see my favorite relative on Christmas?”

 

“Thanks to you, I’m your only relative.”

 

Kenny’s eyes narrowed and he took another step into the apartment. Hange tensed up in front of me and my eyes darted in-between everyone.

  
  


“L-levi?”

I stuttered out. Two sets of grey eyes found me and I inhaled sharply. A grin spread on the taller man’s face.

 

“Who is this little cutie?”   
  


“Don’t touch him.”

Levi held his arm out to stop Kenny from entering. This however caused the older man to lash out.

 

“I paid for this apartment you spoiled little shit, I do what I want!”

 

Before any of us could react Levi was pinned up the wall by his throat. I yelped and stumbled out of my chair but Hange grabbed me, holding me in place. I started to panic when Levi’s feet left the ground, his body being slowly lifted higher.

 

“Levi!”

I cried out struggling against Hanges grip, how was this woman so strong? Then all of sudden Kenny was on the floor holding his nose. In a flash Levis foot made contact with his stomach. The man curled in on himself with a cough.

 

“I told you not to get near me!”

Levi’s voice was low, extremely threatening. But he didn’t give the man enough time to stand up, kicks still raining down on him. I watched wide eyed.

  
  
  


Finally Hange let go of me, only to sprint forward and grab both Levis arms and hold him to her chest.

 

“Levi enough.”

She tried to hush him but he just growled and tried to kick out of her grip. I was frozen in place, unable to process what just happened.

 

“Let me down! I swear I’m going to  _ kill  _ him!”

Levi howled out. This made Kenny scramble of the floor and stumble out the door.

 

“You freak ass kid! Why did you survive that dam crash!”

 

How I manage to move my body I don’t know. But somehow I was over by the door, slamming it shut and locking it. The loud noise seemed to snap Levi out of it and he blinked. Hange loosened her grip and he sank to the floor.   
  


 

“Levi.”

I said softly crouching down next to him. His hands dug into his hair and he was shaking violently.

 

“Give me minute.”

  
  


I glanced up when Hange moved over to the kitchen. By the sounds of things clattering I assumed she was putting the food away. I sat down slowly on the floor next to Levi. He was on his knees hunched forward still holding his head.

 

“Armin, I put everything away. I’m gonna leave now.”

Hange said with a low voice. I nodded to her and she disappeared out the door. I got up and made sure to lock it tight again.

 

“Can you help me up?”

Levi’s voice was hoarse and low. I carefully took a hold of his upper arm and pulled him off the floor. We made it to the couch and slumped down. I wrapped us in the blanket and nuzzled into his shoulder.

  
  


“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He flexed his fists and sighed.

 

“I’m alright, don’t worry about me.”

I touched his cheek softly and he flinched before leaning into my touch.

“Was that your uncle?

  
  


Levi only nodded. He didn’t need to say anything, I had already put together most of the pieces. He never mentioned he was in the car as well. He was there the day his family was ripped from him. The rest of our Christmas day was spent curled up on the couch with several teacups.

  
  
  
  


 

***

  
  
  
  


 

New Year’s came around and we were both still very much on edge. Levi kept jumping at every slight sound from outside the front door. I wasn’t much better and neither of us could focus on anything.

  
  
  


“Armin. We should move.”

I looked back at him. We were standing by the balcony watching the fireworks again. His arms wrapped closely around me. I smiled softly and kissed his cheek. I  liked this tradition, just the two of us watching fireworks together and planning our lives. 

 

“I think I would like that.”

 

Levi nodded absently.

“Would it freak you out if I wanted to actually buy a place? Not just rent.”

  
  


My eyes widened, I turned to hold his cheeks and properly look at him. He looked a little stunned but stayed quiet.

 

“Could we really afford that? I mean that would be so awesome. Like, wow.”

I realized I was rambling and a small blush crept up on my face. Levi chuckled softly and put his hand on my cheek.

 

“Yeah it would be, like wow.”

He mocked me playfully and then laughed softly for the first time in days.

“Don’t worry I got money.”

 

I nodded and hugged him tightly. I know we said last year it was gonna be a new start. But this, this was something else. Levi hugged me back and we rocked back and forth slowly watching the last of the fireworks.

  
  
  
  
  


***

 

 

 

 

Since I was busy with school I had left the house hunting to Levi. Plus he refused to tell me our budget even after hours of pouting. I didn’t mind though, we both had similar taste and he asked extensive questions of what I would want.

I was working stacking books when I heard a familiar voice call me from the first floor. I hurried over to the banister to wave to Levi. He smiled widely and gestured for me to come down.

  
  
  


“Hey, I think I found something.”

 

“Really?”

I tilted my head and took his hand. He nodded kissing my cheek.

 

“When do you get out?”   
  


“I just gotta finish this one stack and I’m free.”   
  


“I’ll help.”

 

I smiled softly as I headed back upstairs. He seemed really excited, if he was willing to help with the extra work. We finished in no time, but of course Levi insisted on double checking to make sure I dusted properly.

  
  


We didn’t drive for long until Levi pulled to the side. The street had townhouses running down on both sides, nice sidewalks with big trees. I liked this already. Getting out I waited for Levi to guide me up the sets of stairs.

  
  


“Now there’s an old lady that lives on the ground floor. However the other 2 floors could be ours.”

  
  


I nodded and bounced a little until Levi got the door open and we stepped in. It opened up into a hallway with a small staircase to the left and what I assumed was the other apartment on the right. I followed quietly as we made our way to the second floor.

 

I took a deep breath outside the dark brown door before it got pushed open. My heart skipped a beat. It opened up to a beautiful hallway area leading into a living room and a kitchen. I peeked into the hallway on the right and saw another sets of stairs.

 

“Now there’s obviously a kitchen and livingroom on this floor. But there’s also a toilet and a small office.”

 

I nodded and followed as I was dragged down the small hallway.

“What I really want to show you is up here.”

 

I stumbled after him trying to take everything in. The colors where all light beige or grey and it really looked soft and inviting. I smiled warmly. Once upstairs Levi led me down a hallway with several doors and stopped at the end.

  
  


“Now this.”

He smiled proudly and pushed the door open. This time it felt like my heart got stuck in my throat. The room was large, probably the old master bedroom. A big window faced the street with a nice seat in it. And all around the walls were empty shelfs, screaming to be filled with books. I stuttered and looked over to Levi who was standing next to me with a smug smile.

 

“L-levi it’s a l-library…”

I blushed at my failed attempt to talk and hid my face against his chest. He chuckled softly and nuzzled into my hair.

 

“So you like it then?”

I could only nod, if I tried to talk I would probably end up crying again.

  
  


“Good, because I already bought it.”

My head whipped up and I stared at him in pure astonishment.

 

“A-are you insane!”

I laughed a little but smiled brightly and wiggled out of his hug.

 

“Probably.”

 

I smiled then skipped away from him to check out the other rooms. Turns out there was a two more bedrooms, one with a joining bathroom. It was perfect. Of course it was, Levi picked it.

I hurried downstairs again, stood in the big living room I spun around with my arms out and laughed. It was beautiful, big and just ours.

  
  


  
  


 

***

  
  


 

 

 

Smiling widely I nodded and looked around our new livingroom. I had just finished the last box and I clapped my hands. Spring was coming fast, me and Levi spent valentine's unpacking books I didn’t know he had into our library. I could still barely believe this.

 

“You alright?”

Levi’s voice came up behind me, pulling me into a hug and kissing my cheek.

 

“It’s perfect Levi.”

 

I turned to look at him with a soft smile on my face.

 

“Levi… I’m finally content… Things are finally good.”

I sighed and nuzzled into his chest.

“Can we play the Piano?”

  
  


 

Levi didn’t say anything, he just took my hand and led me over. He opened the lid and ran a gentle hand over the keys.

“You know, I never let anyone touch it. Until you came along and played it so beautifully.”

 

I blushed lightly and kissed his cheek. He started a melody and I soon joined in, playing silently for a couple minutes.

 

“Levi.”

 

“Mm?”

  
  
  


“I love you, Levi.”

 

“I love you too Armin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay happy endings <3  
> God they are all so sweet <3
> 
> Now yes I will release another chapter, but this here is the happy end.  
> If you don't like sadness and angsty stuff i would probably recommend stopping here xD
> 
>  
> 
> *hugs*  
> It was an experience to sit down and write a whole story like this, I wish I could of made it longer. But I'm really happy with it, and that's all that counts <3
> 
> Hope I see you all for the next chapter, if not, hope you enjoyed!


	12. The End- Three years later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three years after chapter 11!
> 
>  
> 
> So here we are! Final chapter!
> 
> Please take note of the new tags, this chapter will contain: 
> 
> Hospitalization and Major Character death.
> 
> If i don't get at least someone to cry with this chapter I have failed XD This was heavy to write, but I'm so excited to share this with you all!  
> Hope you enjoy <3

.

_ June 11’th 20XX _

 

I was sat on the window seat in my library with my legs crossed in front of me. It’s only been a couple days since I graduated. A year early at that as well. Levi wasn’t even surprised. I heard the front door and hurried to put my book down, then rushed downstairs.

 

“Morning smarty pants.”

Levi snickered and I reached out to touch my hair. It was standing in all kinds of directions and I tried to flatten it out.

 

“Levi it’s dinner time. I’ve been awake all day.”

I pouted and padded after him as he walked into the kitchen with a bag of groceries. Levi just chuckled and turned on the kettle.

  
  


“How’s Hange?”

I leaned on the counter and yawned softly.

 

“Ask her later, she invited herself for dinner.”

I smiled brightly and clapped my hands. Levi rolled his eyes.

 

“Should I get some wine out?”

I snickered and tilted my head. He threw his hands up in a defeated motion.

 

“If you want to deal with a drunk Hange, it’s on you.”

  
  
  


About an hour later the doorbell went off and I bounced over to open it. Hange pulled me into a bear hug and ruffled my hair.

 

“Con-gradutlation! My little cupcake!”

She just about yelled in my ear and I laughed pushing her of me.

 

“Come sit at the table and eat you feral animal.”

Levi grunted from the dinner table and she hurried over to crush him into a hug as well. I went to follow but had to brace myself against the wall for a minute. My head was spinning.

  
  


Hange had brought her own wine as well and ended up drinking most of ours. She made a fool out of herself trying to imitate everyone in the movie we ended up watching. Levi had scolded her for spilling on his carpet. She had also brought a cake, which we were all happily munching on. Halfway through it my eyelids started to drop and I lolled onto Levi’s shoulder.

  
  


“Come on let’s put Hange to bed and we can all get some rest.”

Levi gently shook me and I rubbed my eyes getting up. It took him a couple times to catch Hange who kept dodging him giggling like a maniac.

 

I decided to go ahead and entered our bathroom to brush my teeth. My reflection stared back at me, small bags under my eyes. The last couple weeks of school had been really taxing and I was still recovering. Levi had told me to slow down but I had been through worse. I looked up as I saw him enter behind me and smiled softly to him.

 

“Did you get her to bed?”

 

“Yeah. I swear she is worse than a kid.”

He muttered and grabbed his toothbrush. I smiled shaking my head, she could be a handful. Still, I was very content with my new little family.

 

“Kids aren’t that bad Levi.”

I nudged him gently. He hummed low and smiled.

 

“True, they can be quite cute.”

He chuckled and kissed my hair. I beamed up to him in the mirror.

  
  
  
  
  


_ June 12’th 20XX _

 

I jolted upright in bed. Something wasn’t right, I was drenched in cold sweat and chipped for air. I coughed one hand clamped over my mouth and the other curled to my chest.

 

“L-lev...”

I gasped with the small amount of air I manage to suck in. Thankfully he stirred and turned to me with sleepy eyes. I shifted forward as another cough attack ripped through my body. Levi quickly sat up.

 

“What’s wrong?”

He sounded worried. I whimpered not really being able to answer. His hand went to gently rub my back but as soon as he made contact I cried out in pain. My stomach flipped and I scrambled of the bed.

  
  


My legs wouldn’t hold my weight and I tumbled forward catching myself with my hands. I saw it for a second. The blood on my hand. Before my entire body convulsed and another cascade of blood erupted out of me combined with my dinner. I could hear Levi’s terrified voice call out for Hange before everything went black.

 

 

 

~~~~~

 

 

 

A steady beeping noise made me furrow my brows and try to turn around. But a tug in my hand stopped me and I pried my eyes open. For a second I panicked, causing the beeping to speed up, before I put two and two together. Hospital room.

 

“Levi.”

 

I looked around. There wasn’t much to see in the room and he definitely wasn’t there. The speeding up of the stupid beeping combined with being alone made me sit up and grab my head. I jumped as the door opened and looked over at the doctor that had just entered.

  
  


“Mr. Arlert, do you know where you are?”

I frowned and looked around again. Quite obvious don’t you think, I hate hospitals.

 

“At the main hospital I would guess from your uniform and the interior.”

I said and clicked my tongue rather annoyed. He didn’t flinch just hovered next to me and scribbled on his clipboard.

 

“Do you know what day it is?”

 

 

“June 12’th.”

No indication if I was right, he just hummed.

 

“Where is Levi?”

 

“I assume that means you remember how you got here?”

  
  


I frowned and chewed my lip. My head spun as I tried to think back. A small wave of nausea hit me when I remembered the blood. I reached out to touch my face but it seemed clean.

 

“Where is Levi?”

I just asked again and the doctor sighed.

 

“You aren’t technically related, so therefor I couldn’t let him in here without your permission.”

 

“Well go get him.”

 

“I should probably go through your test results first Mr. Arlert.”

 

I snorted annoyed but then glanced at the chart in his hand. My heart dropped when I saw how thick it was. That was never good. 

 

 

 

~~~~~

 

 

 

A rather pissed of Levi burst through the door. His signature scowl and big circles under his eyes. He growled and stalked over to me, I didn’t look up. I fiddled with my blanket as Levi sat down on the chair.

 

“Would you believe these fuckers wouldn’t let me in all night?!”

 

“Levi…”

 

“I told them who I was, I even know people who work here and they wouldn’t let me in!”

 

“Levi.”

 

“Even Hange who works here couldn’t get any answers from anyone!”

  
  


I looked up at him then, my eyes glazed over and his face went out of focus.

  
  
  
  
  


“Levi. I’m going to die.”

  
  
  


His mouth snapped shut and he stared at me for a second before standing up so fast he knocked over the chair. He moved to the end of my bed and grabbed the chart flipping through it. I saw his shoulders drop.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ June 20’th 20XX _

 

I was sick of being in the hospital. It was driving both me and Levi up the wall. I could tell this was hard on him. He kept staring out in space and mumbling low to himself. I reached out to gently rub his shoulder.

 

After countless of more tests they hadn’t been able to come to any other conclusion. Something was breaking down my body from the inside. It had been for a very long time, a connection to the car crash I was in when I was a kid. They had come up with a concoction of medicines to fend it off for as long as possible. But my life was now on a timer.

 

 

 

Twelve months.

  
  
  
  


“Levi come on, I get to go home today.”

I rubbed his shoulder gently and he snapped out of his daze and turned to look at me. Nothing had happened since that first night and other then being tired I felt fine.

 

“Sorry Armin.”

Levi leaned into me and kissed my cheek.

 

“It’s alright, neither of us are good with hospitals.”

I held his cheek and gave him a soft kiss.

 

“It’s been twelve years Armin, I’m alright.”

He gave me a half smile then looked up as a nurse came in to give me a last check up.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__ July 15’th 20XX  
  


I was still able to work to some extent. Levi had argued it, but I would've gone insane just sitting around the house. When I got home that day he was waiting for me in the kitchen with a big soft smile.

 

“Armin, we’re going on a trip tomorrow.”

 

I blinked surprised at him and tilted my head.

 

“Oh?”

He nodded and pulled me into a hug kissing my hair.

 

“I have a promise to keep up.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


__ July 16’th 20XX  
  


Propped up in the passenger seat with a bag of sweets and some cola I looked confused as Levi pulled out on the Highway. I stayed quiet and watched him, he looked so at peace for the first time in a month.

 

“Are you going to tell me where we are going yet?”

 

“Nope, no chance.”

He chuckled low and turned the radio on.

“We’ll be driving a while though.”

I nodded off after some time. Only waking up when Levi gently woke me up to stop for some Lunch.

  
  
  
  
  


~~~~~

 

 

 

“Armin come on. We’re here.”

I stirred feeling His cool fingers on my cheek and I groaned. I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep.

 

“I’m tired.”

 

“I know but you don’t want to miss this, I promise.”

Levi smiled brushing a hand through my fringe. I sighed and slowly opened my eyes. I followed his gaze out the windshield. It took me a while to realize what I was looking at.

A big vast stretch of sparkly blue water.

  
  


“Levi…”

I reached for the door and scrambled out of the car. The wind caught my hair and I stared in disbelief at the Ocean in front of me.

 

“Come on.”

Levi said softly holding his hand out for me to take. My legs were shaky as we walked down a set of stairs. He sat down and started to take his shoes off and I stared, dumbfounded.

 

“I do not want sand in my car, come on.”

He chuckled softly, I nodded sitting down. I was too busy staring at the water and barely noticed Levi taking my shoes of as well. He stood up and held his hand out again. I took it silently and stepped out on the pale sand. It was warm and so soft.

 

“Levi… This is amazing…”

I trailed after him as he slowly walked towards the water. I shivered a little when the sand shifted to a more compact colder surface. Then smiled brightly and lunged forward running out in the water. It splashed around my feet and I heard Levi yelp trying to avoid it.

  
  


“Oi, you’ll get wet!”

He scowled but his eyes were giving away how happy he really was. I laughed and stopped to roll the bottom of my jeans up. Then walked out as far as I could, it was cold, but not unpleasant.

 

“I wish I could go out further.”

I sighed and hugged around myself. Levi’s arms joined mine and he pulled me close.

 

“Sorry I should've taken you here sooner…”

He whispered softly in my ear before burying his face in my hair.

  
  
  
  


We stayed at the beach until the sun started setting. Sat on a bench on the edge of the sand, I watched in awe as the blue ocean shifted colors. I sighed heavily and slumped onto Levi.

 

“You alright?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Thank you Levi. For everything.”

 

 

 

 

__ August 23’rd  
  


Today I got new medicines, I had gone alone, telling Levi I would be ok doing so. He had nodded and given me a kiss before heading out to work.

  
  


I was making dinner humming happily to the radio. I heard the front door and my head perked up. Levi waved and sent me a bright smile before heading back to his study. I swirled around and turned the kettle on.

 

I reached up grabbing two cups of the shelf, and watched in slow-motion as my left hand lost its grip. The cup crashed to the floor making me cry out in surprise. I stared at it for a minute before anger flared in me.  _ I couldn’t even lift a dam cup _ . With a growl I raised my right hand and flung the other cup across the room. It shattered against the wall with an even louder noise than the other.

 

“Armin!?”

Levi came running around the corner, only to stop before stepping in the broken shards. He looked up at me with surprised eyes. My entire body was trembling with anger and I snapped my head up glaring at him.

 

“Don’t fucking look at me like that!”

I yelled and I could already feel tears gather in my eyes. It wasn’t his fault. I shouldn’t yell at him. Levi didn’t say anything he just walked up to me and wrapped me into a tight hug. I struggled trying to wriggle out, Pushing against his chest and shaking my head.

  
  


“It’s ok, it’s only a cup Armin.”

 

“NO! you don’t get it!”

 

“Armin it's ok.”

 

He stroked my hair softly. After a couple minutes I manage to calm down. I wiped my eyes with my sleeves and looked up at him. His eyes looked a bit distant but he smiled down at me.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to be sorry, is dinner done? Can you take it to the table and I will clean this up?”

 

I nodded and turned to carefully lift the food of the stove, making sure I didn’t step on any shards. Levi came out a few minutes later with some plates and we ate silently.

 

 

 

 

__ September 7’th 20XX  
  


Krista is here today, she arrived early in the morning. Levi had some work, but said he would join us at lunch. He said he would bring takeout. We clapped our hands and I gave him a kiss before locking the door after him.

  
  


Once Levi left we curled up on the couch with snacks and bad movies. Krista pulled me to her chest and we stayed like that. I had already told her and Mikasa as soon as I had returned from the hospital. Both of them had offered to move into our spare room but I had denied. Things were ok and I didn’t want to interrupt their life.

  
  


“You will call me if you need anything right.”

Krista whispered softly in my hair and I nodded.

 

“I promise. Hey I haven’t dropped anything this week.”

I laughed a little and looked up at her. She only smiled and tousled my hair.

  
  
  


 

~~~~~

 

 

 

Levi returned later with Chinese and a rather bouncy Hange. Levi looked like he already wanted to murder her, I snickered and let them inside. She crushed me in a hug then skipped over to the living room and jumped on Krista who was still on the couch.

 

“Hange, be useful, get plates instead of crushing my guests.”

Levi grumbled walking over to the table with the food. Hange peeked over the back of the sofa and looked at me with a big grin.

  
  


“I’ll get them Levi.”

I smiled walking over to the cupboard, I chewed my lip and my shoulders slumped. I could tell all their eyes were on me. In case I couldn’t do it. Just to prove a point I grabbed all four plates at once and easily made it to the table. When I glanced over to Levi he was looking down at the food, hint of guilt in his eyes.

 

I walked over and gave him a hug, kissing his cheek.

“I’m ok Levi.”

 

 

 

 

_ October 31’st 20XX _

 

I was so excited, we had decorated the front porch of the townhouse just like last year. Levi and I had carved pumpkins, and I was just lighting them up. That’s when the first couple kids came up. I smiled brightly at them and turned to grab our candy.

 

“Aren’t you all adorable?”

I hunched down holding the bowl out for the little ghost, cat and some kind of superhero on my steps. They beamed back at me and dug their hands in. I looked up at their parents in the back and waved.

  
  


“Did you get the lanterns Armin?”

Levi came up behind me. I tilted my head up and had to snicker.

 

“You found the cat ears!”

I smiled and covered my mouth to not laugh out loud.

 

“Shut up.”

He muttered and put down another lantern on the steps before sitting next to me.

 

“Why you look so adorable in them.”

I nuzzled into his shoulder and he wrapped us in the green blanket I loved so much. Luckily it wasn’t very cold outside. A couple more kids came along but I think Levi’s scowl scared some of them away and I started laughing. Sour-puss.

  
  
  
  
  


~~~~~

  
  
  
  


I was trembling, my knees shaking and teeth clattering. Levi hugged me closer.

 

“Armin it’s time to go inside.”   
  


“Please Levi, ten more minutes. It’s still early, there is candy left.”

 

I shifted closer to him trying to get some more warmth. His hand rubbed up and down my back.

 

“Ten more minutes, not a second longer.”

He sent me a soft smile and I nodded rubbing my hands together.

  
  


 

__ November 3’rd 20XX  
  


Halloween had made me catch a cold and I was currently in hospital, since the cough had gotten that bad. I was furious having to spend my birthday in here. Levi tried to cheer me up and I know I was being unfair.

“Coconut!”

A very familiar screech made us look up as Hange burst into the room with a massive smile on her face.

“Hey look what I manage to smuggle in!”

My jaw dropped as it seemed a whole pack of people flooded into my room. Mikasa, Krista and Ymir walked over to stand by Levi. Sasha grinned behind Hange holding a big box. Connie and Eren flopped down on the small couch in the corner.

 

“W-what’s all this?”

I stuttered with a bright smile and I swear all of them rolled their eyes.

 

“It’s not every day you turn twenty-four you know!”

Hange said like it was obvious and stepped aside to reveal the cake Sasha was holding. I don’t think I had ever seen so many candles on one cake and it made me laugh.

 

“Pass the cake here before the animals eat it.”

Levi held his hands out to grab it so he could place it on the small table in front of me. I think tears started streaming down my cheeks as they all started singing and I blew the candles out. I turned my head and smiled warmly at Levi, cupping his cheek.

_ I wish for you to always be safe Levi. _

 

 

 

 

_ December 5’th 20XX _

 

I had been home for two weeks after my cold and it had been relaxing. Now I sat staring at a blank document on my laptop screen.

 

“Tea.”

A cup appeared in my vision and I took it cradling it to my chest with a sigh.

 

“What are you working on?”

  
  


“I need to write to my parents Levi.”

My shoulders dropped and I looked down at the hot drink in my hands. I hadn't had any contact with my parents for years.

“They deserve to at least know.

  
  
  


Levi nodded and gently grabbed the laptop from me. I blinked and looked over as his fingers started typing away. Slowly but surely a letter formed and my bottom lip started trembling.

 

“Levi…”

I sniffled as the tears started and he looked back at me questioningly.

  
  
  


 

“I don’t want to die.”

  
  


 

 

_ December 24’th 20XX _

I was moving around the house like a maniac setting up the last decorations for tomorrow. Our tree was perfect like usual but something felt of. I kept moving the same candles at least six times before Levi came up and grabbed them from me.

 

“If you don’t sit down and have something to drink right now, I’m banning you from the kitchen tomorrow.”

  
  


I huffed and pouted at him but stomped over to the kitchen. Just to taunt him I started to pull out things to make hot-chocolate. Once it was made I slumped down on the couch and watched as he did the last things. He bent over into a box and I bit my lip, did he have to look so perfect.

  
  


“Mm…”

I hummed and tilted my head. He looked back at me with a curious smile.

 

“What?”

He straightened out and headed over to me, stopping in front of me.

  
  


“Soo...”

I started and put on the cutest smile I could muster.

 

“If I promise to stay out of the kitchen tomorrow without whining, can I give you a special present tonight?”

I grinned and leaned forward hugging him around the middle and looking up at him from under my fringe.

 

The tiniest smirk crept onto his lips and I could tell he definitely understood what I meant.

“Do you swear on that tiny cute butt, to stay out of the kitchen without a single peep?”

 

“I swear on my tiny cute butt that you can do whatever you like with it for the entire 24 hours of your birthday. Including banning me from the kitchen.”

 

He chuckled and leaned down pulling me into a deep kiss.

  
  
  


 

 

_ December 25’th 20XX _

 

It was rather easy for Levi to keep me out of the kitchen because that morning I could barely walk. He had grinned rather proudly when he found that fact out. At least he helped me downstairs and propped me up the couch. I was muttering flipping through the TV channels when the doorbell went off.

  
  


“Happy Birth-mas!”

Hange came barreling in with a wine bottle in one hand and a gift bag in the other. I snickered.

 

“Someone is ready for a wild night.”

 

“Oh hell yeah, I got Erwin to bring more stuff as well!”

She grinned proudly and we heard Levi groan from the kitchen

 

“I have just cleaned everything and now you animals are gonna have a party?!”

 

“Levi, remember Sasha is coming as well.”

I snickered when he threw his hands up giving up. My and Hange burst out laughing and she went to put her stuff away.

 

 

 

_ ~~~~~ _

 

 

 

I was beaming brightly from my spot on the couch. All my friends and makeshift family was cramped up in my living room singing Christmas songs and joking. They all smiled just as much and I leaned into Levi and sighed delighted. He smiled back and rubbed my arm. I was gonna be tired tomorrow but this was all worth it.

 

Hange, Sasha, Connie and Eren decided to do their own little drinking game resulting in them pretty much passing out on the floor. I snickered as Levi and Erwin struggled to prop them up enough to get them into the makeshift spare bedroom in Levi’s study. Mikasa took his spot next to me and pulled me into a hug. I nuzzled into her and stayed like that.

 

 

 

 

_ December 31’st 20XX _

 

Levi and I had decided to do new years on our own. Everyone seemed to understand and didn’t question it. We spent it locked up in our apartment watching horror movies. Levi cooked an amazing dinner and we ate it on the couch.

  
  


When it got close to midnight we made it upstairs into my library and made ourselves comfortable in the window seat. Levi hugged closely around me I pretended not to notice when he quietly started crying as the fireworks went off.

  
  


 

 

 

_ January 10’th 20XY _

 

I went back to work today after the holidays. Well I was meant to. Once I tried to sort the books I was working with I couldn’t read the titles, even with my new glasses. Levi found me crying in my library when he got home, cradling one of the books he’d given me years ago.

  
  


 

 

 

_ February 14’th 20XY _

 

To say that I was miserable was an understatement. I spent the entire days cooped up in the house alone while Levi went to work.

Well at least I could still cook to some degree, I couldn’t read recipes so I had to go with what I knew. I did manage to make a rather nice dinner for Levi who looked happily surprised when he walked in the door.

  
  


I smiled warmly as he held out a box of chocolates. He hugged around my hips and rocked us back and forth gently.

 

“Mm... are you feeling up for a treat later?”

He smirked and my jaw dropped. I didn’t think he would actually ask. I nodded frantically and he laughed and kissed me before leading me over to the dinner table.

 

 

 

 

 

_ March 6’th 20XY _

 

It was getting warm outside again. Shame I really couldn’t feel it through my window. I watched people move around outside, everything was a little blurry but I could still make out things good enough.

 

I was chewing my lip when Levi carefully peeked into the library and walked over to me. Most of the day I spent here wrapped up in the green blanket perched in the window watching the world pass by. I looked up as he gently cupped my cheek.

 

“How are you?”   
  


“Things are ok.”

I leaned into his touch and he caressed my cheek softly.

“Levi…?”

 

“Yes Love?”

  
  


“Can you please take me to the ocean one more time?”

I could feel myself tear up but I couldn’t care less

  
  


“Of course.”

  
  
  


 

 

_ March 9’th 20XY _ __  
  


The car pulled to a stop and I gazed out the window. A smile crept onto my lips and opened the door stepping out. I fumbled with the stairs and pretty much kicked my shoes of, leaving them for Levi to gather.

 

“Wait for me.”

I ignored him as I hurried to the waterline, I yelped as the cold water washed over my feet.

  
  


“It’s so cold!”

I laughed and smiled brightly back at him. I got blinded for a second as a camera flash went off and I rubbed my eyes.

“Levi!”

  
  


“Sorry you looked cute.”

He chuckled but didn’t walk out in the water. I rolled my eyes and walked further out, letting the water roll over my ankles.

  
  


With my blurred vision I gazed out over the grey/blue water and wrapped my arms around me.  _ This is the last time _ . I turned back to Levi and tilted my head.  _ This is our last time _ .

  
  


 

 

 

_ April 4’th 20XY _

  
  


Today I was admitted to the hospital with no set release date. Levi had come home to find me passed out on the bathroom floor. I had hoped to stay home longer than this. They said it was only until I seemed stable. I knew deep down I wasn’t gonna get out again. Levi knew it too, I could see it in his eyes.

  
  


“Levi.”

He stopped pacing and came to sit on the chair next to me.

 

“Sorry.”

 

I cupped his cheek stroking his cheek.

 

“Where is that camera, do I look alright? You should take some pictures.”

I smiled and tilted my head. He nodded and started to dig in his bag and fished out the camera. We ended up taking way too many pictures and by the end we were both laughing at the stupid poses.

  
  


 

 

 

_ April 28’th 20XY _

 

Today was a bad day. They had insisted on changing my medicine, why I didn’t know. I had spent the whole day by the toilet throwing up. Levi was furious and once Hange came to check up on us he stormed out.

  
  


“Are you feeling up to try and get into bed?”

Hange softly rubbed my lower back. The area around my neck and shoulders were extremely sore to touch and thankfully she knew that.

 

“Can I have a shower first?”

I pleaded to her with tired eyes.

 

“Do you want my help or would you rather wait for Levi?”

  
  


“You can help it’s alright.”

 

  
  


~~~~ ~

 

 

 

When Levi returned I was cleaned up and tucked back in bed. Hange had headed out after I convinced her I was fine, and worst case I had the call button.

  
  


“They won’t give you that medicine again.”

Levi said as he sat down on the bed with me and shuffled close. I nodded and pulled him into a hug.

 

“Thank you.”

I mumbled softly into his shirt. He smelled like home.

“Levi…”

 

“Mm?”

  
  


 

“You will be ok right. Without me?”

I shifted and looked up at him. He flinched and I saw the pain in his eyes.

 

“Armin…”

 

“No I need to know.”

 

“I’ll be alright.”

 

“You better be. I will tell Hange to harass you every waken moment if you’re not.”

 

“No please not that.”

Levi groaned and I giggled softly, then he continued and I stopped to listen.

“I was so lonely… when my mom was gone… when my sister…”

 

His voice cracked a little, his head slumped onto my chest. I hugged him closely and stroked his back and we both silently cried for a while.

  
  


 

 

 

_ May 9’th 20XY _

 

Today I couldn’t get out of bed on my own. I’ve been ordered not to move unless a nurse is with me.

Levi had looked so terrified when my legs had given in and I crashed to the floor, bringing my breakfast tray with me _. I don’t want you to be scared Levi _ .

 

 

 

 

_ May 12’th 20XY _ __  
  


Four weeks.

Time had ran so slowly in the beginning and now it felt like every day was only 6 hours long. Levi wasn’t sleeping properly I could tell. I still insisted he went home every night to sleep in our bed. But today he refused, I had given in and a temporary bed had been set up in my room. If it helped him sleep I would allow it.

 

 

 

 

_ May 23’rd 20XY _ __  
  


There was a crazy storm going outside and my room felt freezing cold. Levi was huddled up in bed with me and my entire body was shaking. It didn’t help I had a slight fever, they had hooked up an IV with fluids but it didn’t help much.

  
  


“Armin would you be ok by yourself for an hour?”

Levi kissed my cheek and I blinked confused but nodded. Not like I could do much anyway. He smiled warmly and moved carefully of the bed and grabbed his jacket and keys. Dumbfounded I just stared as he walked out the door.

  
  


 

~~~~~

  
  
  


 

I startled awake as Levi walked through the door again and he stopped in his place.

 

“Sorry did I wake you up?”

 

“It’s ok.”

I sat up a bit groggy and rubbed my eyes. He shrugged his jacket and shoes off and walked over to me. The bed dipped as he went to lay next to me. We had been scolded too many times for sleeping in the same bed, but I don’t think Levi cared.

 

“Here.”

He smiled softly as he lifted the bag he’d been holding and pulled out my precious green blanket. It was almost worn out by now but I didn’t care.

“This should keep you warm right?”

  
  


I nodded and nuzzled into his chest. He draped the blankets and covers over us and settled in. Levi smelled like home, and the rain.

  
  


~~~ ~~

  
  


 

The first thing I noticed was how cold I was. The second was how quiet it was. The third was the strange smells. Rain. Rain on asphalt. I was laying on something hard, I tried to furrow my brows but I couldn’t feel. It felt like my entire body was floating. At the same time I could feel a sting burn my entire chest and arms.

  
  


I was trying to pry my eyes open when a heart wrenching scream cut through the buzzing of the rain. My eyes flew open and first everything was out of focus. It was gloomy outside and I blinked. One of my eyes wouldn’t open properly, it felt like something was covering it.

  
  


My gaze found the only moving thing that could be the source of sound. A figure on the other side, of what I assumed was a road, on his knees. Everything was tilted sideways and the asphalt was way too close to my face. My heart started racing as I started making him out better.

 

“NOO!”

 

Another scream and his head flew backwards crying out to the skies. Black fringe falling of his face and rain whipping in his face.  _ Levi…  _ My arm reached out for him. My focus shifted as I saw my tiny hand come into view, covered in blood and scrapes.

 

I looked back at Levi who had scrambled up on his feet. He looked smaller somehow, I wanted to call out for him but I couldn’t find my voice.

 

Tear started streaming down my face as I heard his heartbroken scream again.

 

“NO! ISABEL!!”

  
  


My eyes flew open and my body lunged forward in bed. Hands curled up to my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I chipped for air trying to calm my heart down.

  
  


“Armin!?”

Levi’s hand came to my back and I started to shake violently. It’s been so long since I had a panic attack. That dream felt so real. Levi had sat up more and calmed his own breathing and I tried to copy the best I could. His hands cupping my cheeks gently. I knew he was talking but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. My head was playing the dream over and over again.

  
  
  


“There you go.”

Levi kissed my cheek softly as I finally had calmed down enough. His eyes snapped up when the door opened and I saw him shoo a nurse out. I slumped into him and he hugged around me.

  
  
  


“Are you ok? Nightmare?”

 

“Levi…?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Who is Isabel?”

  
  


I could hear his sharp inhale and how he held his breath, before slowly and shakily letting it out.

“How do you know that name?”

 

 

 

_ June 8’th 20XY _

 

Levi says I have been sleeping a lot today. I wouldn’t really know, every time I open my eyes everything is out of focus and I feel dizzy. Hange had come by around lunch time and I watched them chat for a bit, joining in where I could.

  
  
  


 

 

_ June 16’th 20XY _

  
  


Today when I opened my eyes around breakfast I blinked and rubbed them. Levi noticed and closed his book coming over to sit with me.

 

“Morning.”

  
  


I smiled soft and held a hand out to hold his cheek.

“That’s a good book.”

 

“Yeah it is.”

Levi answered before freezing and looking over to his bed where it sat.

“Wait you could read the title?”

 

I smiled brightly and tears pricked in my eyes.

“Levi I can’t see your eyes. Please look at me.”

  
  
  


His head turned back to me and I cradled his head with both my hands and gazed into his eyes. They are so beautiful. There was so many emotions playing in them. Blue and silver storming around trying to settle.

“They are so beautiful Levi.”

 

“So are you Armin.”

He smiled warmly and moved to sit on the bed with me. A faint blush crept onto my face and I nuzzled into his chest softly before looking back into his eyes.

 

“Levi the camera, I want to take a picture. Please.”

He nodded and moved of the bed to get it. I smiled and held my hands out to take it. I happily flipped through some of the images. A lot of them were from inside the hospital. Then I hit the one from the ocean and I smiled brightly. My eyes matched the ocean and I could see it all so perfectly clear.

  
  


“Levi come here!”

I reached out for him and pulled him close, then turned the camera to snap a pictures of both of us. When I flipped it around, I nodded and showed it to him. He smiled warmly and stroked my hair.

  
  


“Yep we make a damn good couple.”

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. I nodded and leaned into his shoulder.

 

“We sure do.”

I blinked and rubbed my eyes with one arm. My other hand trembled and the camera fell on the bed.

 

“Armin?”

 

“I’m alright, sorry just still a little tired.”

Levi nodded and moved the camera so we could lay down properly again.

  
  


 

~~~~~

  
  


 

“Levi.”

I nudged him gently in the side. My eyes were blurry again and my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. He stirred awake and smiled warmly up at me.

 

“Hey.”

 

I smiled weakly to him and raised my hand to tap my lip with my index finger.

“Levi please kiss me.”

 

He chuckled softly and leaned up brushing my fringe away before leaning in and kissing me warmly. I pushed back into his lips desperately and moved to hold my hands in his hair. They slipped down the sides. Levi took one of them and held it up so I could run my fingers through his undercut.

  
  
  


“Levi…I’m so happy I met you”

I smiled a broken smile and he hugged around me closely.

 

“Same here Armin. I love you.”

  
  
  


“I love you too Levi, more than anything”

  
  


 

~~~~~

  
  


 

I heard it from the second I woke up. How strained his breathing was. I didn’t want to open my eyes but I know I had to.

When I did I was faced with those beautiful ocean eyes I had come to love so deeply. Those eyes I had loved from the first time I saw them in that stuffy library. 

  
The sparkle from just a couple hours ago was gone.

  
  
  


Once I kissed him I kept his small hand in my hair. He smiled weakly and his voice was shaky as we spoke. I knew this was the last time his gentle fingers would thread through my black strands. I brushed his fringe, running my hands through his soft blonde hair.

  
  
  


It wasn’t long until his arm grew heavier and I moved his hand down to rest on his chest. I leaned in and kissed his forehead, lingering before I pulled back. He looked back up at me sending me one more smile before closing his eyes.

  
  


My heart seized up at the sight and I held my breath.

  
  
  


The annoying machine that had been filling the room with beeping for weeks was playing a new sound.

  
  
  


A flat monotone screech.

  
  
  
  
  


_ I’m alone again... _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are!  
> This was a tough ride! 
> 
> Ty all for reading and sticking with me!  
> Please let me know what you all think in the comments <3
> 
>  
> 
> If you all want to keep reading my stuff I do have an omegaverse story with Rivarmin I'm writing on the side!


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